Reviews with content warning for Deadnaming - The Feeling of Falling in Love

disclaimer: I don’t really give starred reviews. I hope my reviews provide enough information to let you know if a book is for you or not. Find me here: https://linktr.ee/bookishmillennial

This is ranking as one of my top five YA reads ever!!!!!!

When I talk about contemporary YA being inspiring and full of bravery and hope, this is what I’m talking about. Mason Deaver illustrated such an authentic, goofy, messy, and tender story of accountability, self-reflection, classism, privilege, gender & sexual identities, friendship & romance.

Neil broke things off with his friend-with-benefits Josh, but Josh does not believe that Neil feels nothing romantically towards Josh.

Neil enacts the rule that Josh created, which states that if one of them becomes serious with someone else, they’ll stop hooking up. Neil pretends to date his roommate Wyatt and takes Wyatt home to Los Angeles for a family wedding to prove it!

While Neil navigates the transphobia of some family members, he also is encouraged to explore his feelings about the familial dynamics at play by Wyatt. Neil has spent most of his life feeling like his mom hasn’t paid too much attention to him, centering her high-profile career and amassing wealth instead. It was so incredibly relatable (and made me wince at the same because woof, it hurt) to hear Neil discuss how though he may be braver and confident with friends at the boarding academy, the boundaries & behavior he dismisses is different when he is around his family. He had this awareness of being able to expect more from those he felt truly in community with, like his friends, yet felt nervous and too exhausted to ask for more from his family members. Educating and being the only person who calls others in is a heavy burden, and I think MD illustrated this perfectly in Neil’s situation.

Meanwhile, Wyatt is introduced to a life of luxury that he simply never could have imagined, as his two moms work incredibly hard to buy him the second-hand clothes that Neil often obliviously pokes fun at. Wyatt bravely speaks up when he is uncomfortable, & I felt so proud of him for voicing valid concerns & forcing Neil to expand his perspective when it came to attitudes and behaviors around money. Most kids are well aware of how their family fits into a social class hierarchy, especially in the 21st century (it’s hard not to notice who is going on vacation, buying new clothes, gets the brand new iphone every year, versus who is *not* doing those things, especially at the height of social media) & Wyatt is not naive in the way others perceive him. I really appreciated this representation of different socioeconomic classes. Wyatt also explores his own gender identity & I adored how these two affirm each other in that journey.

Neil and Wyatt navigate so much in this coming-of-age novel, and though Neil especially fumbles through a lot (obviously our third-act break up, but don’t worry, this *is* a romance lol), the fact that these teens took the time to examine the harm they caused, and moved forward with much more intention and mindfulness was so lovely.

No review I write will ever do this book justice so please read it! Thank you sm to @atmreads for the rec <3

Content Warnings

a_manning11's review against another edition

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challenging emotional funny hopeful inspiring medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

I had such high expectations of this author that I was reluctant to pick up this audio book. I needn't have worried. This novel is absolutely wonderful, the perfect combination of a love story and challenging topics of gender and sexuality. I highly recommend this book. And the audio book narrator did an amazing job.

Content Warnings

sarahmcg's review

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emotional hopeful lighthearted medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

The Feeling of Falling in Love by Mason Deaver
My rating: 3.5⭐️
Vibes: 🏳️‍⚧️🤑✈️💍🎸🎤
Publishing date: Aug 2022 (out now)

Mini synopsis: Neil breaks up with Josh, his friends-with-benefits, when he tells Neil he loves him, right before they are supposed to fly home for Neil’s brother’s wedding. Now, Neil needs a new date to bring along to prove to Josh that he’s over him and needs to move on. Enter: Josh’s roommate Wyatt, who thinks Neil is being a jerk, but goes along with the plan; as they get to know each other, they begin to understand each other, and learn what it can be like to truly fall in love for the first time.

What to expect:
Trans MMC
NB love interest
Several queer side characters
Roommates, fake dating
Young adult

What I liked:
- Wyatt ❤️ this sweet character *made* this story; their accent, their polite and humble nature, and the way they basically gave Neil a reality check
- I loved that the world this story occurred in had a ton of queer characters, including the friend group at school and Wyatt’s moms

My critiques:
- OMG Neil was soooo unlikeable! I just could not cheer for this main character. Ignorant, oblivious, entitled, rude, whiny… I could go on. Since the book is from his POV, you see all of his interactions, and he’s an asshole to literally everyone in his life. Just such a basic Beverly Hills rich kid who looked down on Wyatt’s clothes and basically everything else about them because he could tell their family didn’t have money. Neil really needed some serious character growth/an arc, but this book only took place over 1 week which brings me to…
- The pacing. It’s possible this book could have benefitted from a longer timeline, but I get the fact that this revolved around an upcoming wedding made that challenging

Overall, a quick read that I enjoyed in audiobook format.

⚠️ CW/TW: underage drinking, mention of neglectful parenting, transphobia (throughout, and specific incident with TSA), homophobia, indirect dead naming (Neil is dead named but the dead name is never mentioned on page and simply alluded to), fade-to-black sex scene, mentions of past sexual relationship

Content Warnings

valreadssometimes's review against another edition

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emotional funny hopeful fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

This book is advertised as a romantic comedy. it is not that.
I was not rooting for the main couple. At all.

Here's the thing, in order to want the main couple to fall in love and end up together and have their happily-ever-after love story you need to believe that they're good together. You have to like the characters.

The main character of this book is the most unlikeable protagonist I have read in a while, especially because, as the reader, you're supposed to be rooting for him. Neil is a rich, self-centered, self-pitying, excuse-ridden mess. He expects everyone around him to live constantly accommodating his needs and wants. Even at the end, when he's supposedly "redeemed," he continues to have expectations and demands of the people around him.

I was actually upset when he decided to randomly show up at Wyatt's house. Neil's whole arc revolved around him becoming more empathetic and kind; There is zero empathy in immediately demanding a relationship from the guy you decided to insult and send home for basically zero reason.

No one is safe from Neil's whining and his excuses. He uses every inconvenience is his life as a way to write off his bad behaviors. Even his gender identity and journey is finely crafted in his internal monologue as this get-out-of-jail free card for not knowing how to treat others around him with basic empathy and respect.

The whole arc with his mother was greatly upsetting. Neil blamed her for his bad childhood and his terrible experiences which was, in my opinion, incredibly unfair. Yes, in the end he does end up taking some responsibility for his own actions, but it felt cheap after berating his mother who, while misguided, was trying her best. Either make it more nuanced and real, or write it out. Neil does not deserve to placate his own guilt by targeting his family.

Wyatt, the main love interest, was sweet. He seemed to be authentic and naive and all of the good things Neil isn't. In a way, he was meant to help Neil become better, but he really just made me more aware of what a terrible person he was.

Also the "hallmark moment" made me want to claw my eyes out. Like, Neil trying to make his Beverly Hills problems seem comparable to Wyatt's made me laugh out loud (not in the good way).

I was rooting for Wyatt. I was rooting for Josh. I was rooting for everyone that wasn't Neil.

Wyatt and Neil were just not meant to be. Maybe if Neil was able to step back (like really, really far back) and re-evaluate himself and his choices, it could have worked. But guess what? He can't. Not with this short of a time frame.

This could have been a better book if Neil and Wyatt had not ended up together (sorry not sorry).

Content Warnings

fanboyriot's review against another edition

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funny lighthearted medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Read For:

🏳️‍⚧️ t4t

😍 Fake Dating

🔑 Roommates

🛏️ Only One Bed

🩷 Grumpy x Sunshine

I think this just might be my favorite Mason Deaver book yet! I loved this book so much!

The plot was cute, the characters were amazing, and the romance was perfect. It was everything. Neil and Wyatt were both total dorks and I absolutely adore them.

I’m so happy this book exists. The trans rep, the wedding where dealing with family is a nightmare. There was so many moments in this book that were cute and funny but there were moments where it felt realistic and raw. That Neil was the way he was because of the people around him. Always running away and shoving his feelings down until they didn’t exist… at least until he fell face first for the least likely person he was expecting.

The only negative thing I have to say was that I didn’t read it sooner.

Release Date: 16, August 2022

POV: First Person

Spice: 🌶️🌶️ (mentioned lightly, PG-13)

Rep: Transmasc Gay (MC), Transmasc Gay (SC), Bisexual Korean (SC), Black Bisexual (SC), Gay (SC), BIPOC Characters, LGBTQIA+ Characters

Content Warnings

transquake's review against another edition

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medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

1.5

Content Warnings

greenlivingaudioworm's review

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adventurous emotional funny lighthearted reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes

3.0

Content Warnings

elskabee's review

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funny lighthearted fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

After loving the heck out of I Wish You All the Best, I hoped to like this more, but I still had a good time overall. Basically just a queer teen romcom with fake dating tbh.

I really liked Wyatt, they're just like me fr fr. (especially Wyatt's Taylor Swift opinions are SO valid). Neil has to grow on you. He's immature, often a jerk for no good reason, very selfish, extremely short-sighted (so basically a teenager lol). Some of which he learns to overcome over the course of the book as he learns to communicate better, recognise his own feelings, and check his privilege. On a lot of levels he reminds me of Lorelai Gilmore from Gilmore Girls.

The biggest frustration was the third act breakup, sorry if you feel like that's a spoiler but this book is extremely formulaic. It was weird how it all went down and how it was resolved was fine but not something I particularly enjoyed.

I read quite a lot of queer (especially trans) YA romance and this is a middle of the road read that is perfectly enjoyable if not revolutionary.

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