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bethantg's review against another edition
adventurous
inspiring
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.0
I have such massively mixed feelings about this book. I really enjoyed the unique premise and the focus on video games, the discussion of disability/chronic illness and, for the most part, the writing. I say "for the most part" because I really did like the writing, the only thing that grated on me was the repetitive "x said, x said, x said," that sometimes occurred, but I should say that I listened to this as an audiobook, so maybe it's not as jarring when you're reading. Other than that, I do have some major gripes.
Firstly, I haven't read many reviews of this book so I don't know whether this is just a me thing or not, but the "women written by men" vibe was so strong that I was genuinely surprised when I double checked the author. Sam is pretty consistently a character that you can empathise with, and Sadie just is not. Her backstory is so poorly fleshed out and she has literally no arc. She literally just goes through a chain of boyfriends and gets depressed — worse because her depression is almost entirely witnessed from the outside, either just as absence or as her being rude to Sam. In contrast, Sam is almost always kind, is presented as just as overall skilled as Sadie, and is actually given his own perspective and thought processes, where Sadie is massively lacking. Trying to think of a part in the book where Sadie's thought process behind her behaviour is detailed, I can only think of very early on in the book when she wants to appear cool and calm during her first breakup. Which is crazy, she's literally meant to be one of the main characters. The other female characters are worse, which is semi-excusable on account of them being side characters, but also not at all considering how much comparable insight we get into male side characters like Ant, Dong Hyun, and even Marx (who obviously blurs the main/side character roles). Like Ant talks about very difficult, complex feelingssurrounding his guilt following the shooting and even just his mention of his complicated feelings about Simon and then there's Zoe. Zoe — who should be given more attention than Ant, given that she's Marx's girlfriend and supposedly Sadie's best friend (another issue) – is presented as a musical genius (who rarely talks about music) who is regularly nude. Just as much time is spent on that latter part as the first. She honestly only seems to exist as a reason for Marx and Sadie to not be together for a bit, to get the characters to move to California, and then to serve as a catalyst for Marx and Sadie to get together (which Sadie expresses no inkling of any mixed feelings about entering a relationship with the ex-boyfriend of the girl who was supposedly her best friend. Probably because they don't have an actually friendship, the author just says via Sadie that they're best friends, because that works I guess). Lola? Immediately irrelevant. The only relationships that are actually given attention are those involving men. Sadie and Sam, Sadie and Marx, Sadie and Dov. Sadie and Zoe? One or two scenes about miscellaneous activities together with no emotional depth. Sadie's roommate before Ichigo? Not even sure she gets a name. Sadie's grandma? Vaguely prominent at the start of the book, then just occasionally mentioned. Sadie's sister who she is originally introduced as being incredibly attached to? Forgotten for the majority of the book until she's vaguely mentioned at the end.
So it's a book mainly dominated by men's thoughts and feelings to the neglect of women's, which is cool for a book that wants to deal with sexism. As a result, Sam and Sadie's relationship, supposed to be this great portrayal of friendship persevering through age and trauma, just seems like Sadie causing problems and Sam being nice to her because ultimately he has romantic feelings for her. Made worse because even right at the end of the book,Sam asks why him and Sadie never pursued a relationship and once again it is Sadie who shuts him down, and Sam doesn't actually explicitly accept this, so it comes off like he still has feelings for her, which ruins the whole narrative that was given by Sadie and at other points in the book of "this is such a special relationship that it goes beyond romantic." In fact, the whole way through Sam expresses wanting a relationship, but it is people around Sam who prevent him having one, like Dong Hyun telling him he doesn't need that kind of relationship when he's literally just said he wants one. It's just strange, and gives the feeling of an incomplete explanation. If he had never had a relationship, that would have been fine, but it's the fact that he wants one but for multiple reasons is told no, which feels like the author telling him no more than anything. I can't help thinking this is also worse because Sam is the only character with a physical disability, and of course it's kind of a trope that physically disabled characters in media are presented as undesirable or asexual. And this isn't negated by the (once again unresolved) discussion of Sam's feelings around disability. He talks about not feeling disabled, about just having "a thing with his foot" and even about the social construction of disability, which as I mentioned at the start was something I really liked hearing discussed in a first-hand account. Unfortunately once again, right at the end Sam mentions feeling undesirable as a result of being disabled, and this is just brushed off. Disability, like sexism, toxic relationships and depression, is a topic that's picked up, a few interesting lines are said about it, and then it's dropped.
These incomplete discussions and Sadie's often absent perspective are a major part of what makes the characters feel incomplete — and therefore makes the story feel unsatisfying — to me. But what exacerbates that many times over is when the author just pops in an anachronistic rant. Yes it's the cultural appropriation thing. It happened pretty early on in the book but it was just stupid. Sam, who has mixed American, Jewish and Korean heritage, and Sadie, who is a Jewish American, make a game that is heavily inspired by Japanese culture and has Japanese characters. When questioned about cultural appropriation, Sam goes on quite a rant that makes interesting points, but has several issues with it — mainly the fact that it's not Sam saying it, it's the author. Marx, whose father is Japanese and who grew up in Japan, produced the game and had some pretty significant contributions to it (like the Japanese language component of Ichigo's name), and he is not mentioned. This is because Marx exists in the story, not the real world, and this is a real world argument being shoehorned into the story. It's also entirely unchallenged, and dropped right there. Also, in the final conversation of the book, Sadie says that had they made Ichigo then, almost twenty years after they did, they would have worried about cultural appropriation and not have made it. So Sam being questioned about this at the time is very clearly an anachronism, because it's even referenced here by Sadie that this wasn't a concern in that era (sometime in the 90s I believe). It's literally an admission that this just exists as a moment for the author to say their piece. Of course, she absolutely has the right to say this piece, but the in a work of fiction where it makes no sense for the time, not really. As I say, interesting points are made — Sam talks about how he doesn't feel connected to a single part of his heritage, but that he wouldn't have been called out for making a game inspired by it. But it's just a throwaway line that gets no development into a proper discussion whatsoever, and that's massively disappointing.
I would also say that this reads less like a story about friends and more about a story about two people relentlessly forced together by circumstance.From the moment that Sadie has that whole revelation with the Dead Sea disk that changes her entire view of Sam, they don't seem like friends at all. And the bit where it's implied that she would've preferred him to die rather than Marx, and the line that her apology "lacked the conviction of the attack" (great line btw)? Sam pack it up buddy she does not care about you.
Maybe these complaints I have are meant to contribute to the realism of the story. People don't always get satisfying character development or have deep, multifacted conversations about complex topics. People die on days like any other, and friendships are complicated. However, just as the characters discuss the perfected worlds of video games, where nonsensical things don't happen, so is the perfected nature of books, where characters and themes don't just get picked up and put down at whim.
Firstly, I haven't read many reviews of this book so I don't know whether this is just a me thing or not, but the "women written by men" vibe was so strong that I was genuinely surprised when I double checked the author. Sam is pretty consistently a character that you can empathise with, and Sadie just is not. Her backstory is so poorly fleshed out and she has literally no arc. She literally just goes through a chain of boyfriends and gets depressed — worse because her depression is almost entirely witnessed from the outside, either just as absence or as her being rude to Sam. In contrast, Sam is almost always kind, is presented as just as overall skilled as Sadie, and is actually given his own perspective and thought processes, where Sadie is massively lacking. Trying to think of a part in the book where Sadie's thought process behind her behaviour is detailed, I can only think of very early on in the book when she wants to appear cool and calm during her first breakup. Which is crazy, she's literally meant to be one of the main characters. The other female characters are worse, which is semi-excusable on account of them being side characters, but also not at all considering how much comparable insight we get into male side characters like Ant, Dong Hyun, and even Marx (who obviously blurs the main/side character roles). Like Ant talks about very difficult, complex feelings
So it's a book mainly dominated by men's thoughts and feelings to the neglect of women's, which is cool for a book that wants to deal with sexism. As a result, Sam and Sadie's relationship, supposed to be this great portrayal of friendship persevering through age and trauma, just seems like Sadie causing problems and Sam being nice to her because ultimately he has romantic feelings for her. Made worse because even right at the end of the book,
These incomplete discussions and Sadie's often absent perspective are a major part of what makes the characters feel incomplete — and therefore makes the story feel unsatisfying — to me. But what exacerbates that many times over is when the author just pops in an anachronistic rant. Yes it's the cultural appropriation thing. It happened pretty early on in the book but it was just stupid. Sam, who has mixed American, Jewish and Korean heritage, and Sadie, who is a Jewish American, make a game that is heavily inspired by Japanese culture and has Japanese characters. When questioned about cultural appropriation, Sam goes on quite a rant that makes interesting points, but has several issues with it — mainly the fact that it's not Sam saying it, it's the author. Marx, whose father is Japanese and who grew up in Japan, produced the game and had some pretty significant contributions to it (like the Japanese language component of Ichigo's name), and he is not mentioned. This is because Marx exists in the story, not the real world, and this is a real world argument being shoehorned into the story. It's also entirely unchallenged, and dropped right there. Also, in the final conversation of the book, Sadie says that had they made Ichigo then, almost twenty years after they did, they would have worried about cultural appropriation and not have made it. So Sam being questioned about this at the time is very clearly an anachronism, because it's even referenced here by Sadie that this wasn't a concern in that era (sometime in the 90s I believe). It's literally an admission that this just exists as a moment for the author to say their piece. Of course, she absolutely has the right to say this piece, but the in a work of fiction where it makes no sense for the time, not really. As I say, interesting points are made — Sam talks about how he doesn't feel connected to a single part of his heritage, but that he wouldn't have been called out for making a game inspired by it. But it's just a throwaway line that gets no development into a proper discussion whatsoever, and that's massively disappointing.
I would also say that this reads less like a story about friends and more about a story about two people relentlessly forced together by circumstance.
Maybe these complaints I have are meant to contribute to the realism of the story. People don't always get satisfying character development or have deep, multifacted conversations about complex topics. People die on days like any other, and friendships are complicated. However, just as the characters discuss the perfected worlds of video games, where nonsensical things don't happen, so is the perfected nature of books, where characters and themes don't just get picked up and put down at whim.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Hate crime, Suicide, Medical content, and Gun violence
Moderate: Domestic abuse, Racism, and Sexism
Minor: Drug use, Cultural appropriation, and Cancer
ks19's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Gun violence, Hate crime, Homophobia, and Medical trauma
Moderate: Suicide and Sexual violence
bbmaan's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Terminal illness, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Rape, Violence, Cancer, Death of parent, Mass/school shootings, Murder, Sexual harassment, Adult/minor relationship, Blood, Chronic illness, Confinement, Antisemitism, Racial slurs, Sexism, Toxic relationship, Alcohol, Cursing, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Abortion, Grief, Gun violence, Hate crime, Injury/Injury detail, Physical abuse, Racism, Pregnancy, Toxic friendship, Gaslighting, Mental illness, Misogyny, Car accident, Death, Drug use, and Homophobia
logger_j's review against another edition
emotional
inspiring
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Toxic friendship, Emotional abuse, Gun violence, Hate crime, Mass/school shootings, Vomit, Adult/minor relationship, Chronic illness, Pregnancy, Car accident, Medical content, Panic attacks/disorders, and Death of parent
samglade's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.75
Please check the list of content warnings before reading this book, if you have any triggers at all - it throws a lot of dark elements at the reader offhandedly, without much buildup.
While I enjoyed the nuanced characters and their relationships, my enjoyment of the book was spoiled by some of the choices the author has made. The author decided on a style heavy on clinical, excessive details (e.g. a list of video game merchandise on a shelf having over 20 items, comma-separated), which betrayed that she is not a tech person and the incorrect usage of technical terms was jarring. More importantly, it felt like she was ticking off all the dark themes she could think of from the list of possible content warnings, all packed into the lives of three individuals. For shock value? I can't tell why it was needed. Given how the story was progressing, I was genuinely surprised that miscarriage wasn't used as a cherry on top.
While I enjoyed the nuanced characters and their relationships, my enjoyment of the book was spoiled by some of the choices the author has made. The author decided on a style heavy on clinical, excessive details (e.g. a list of video game merchandise on a shelf having over 20 items, comma-separated), which betrayed that she is not a tech person and the incorrect usage of technical terms was jarring. More importantly, it felt like she was ticking off all the dark themes she could think of from the list of possible content warnings, all packed into the lives of three individuals. For shock value? I can't tell why it was needed. Given how the story was progressing, I was genuinely surprised that miscarriage wasn't used as a cherry on top.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Medical content, Death of parent, Drug use, Mass/school shootings, Toxic relationship, Death, Sexism, Grief, Mental illness, Toxic friendship, Misogyny, Injury/Injury detail, and Car accident
Moderate: Cancer, Pregnancy, Racial slurs, Drug use, Sexual content, and Chronic illness
Minor: Abortion, Racial slurs, Cultural appropriation, Gore, and Hate crime
tlindhorst's review
adventurous
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
This was a propulsive read. The story is set in the world of game developers - I do not play games, so this was completely foreign to me. The two main characters, Sam & Sadie grow and change in believable ways across the 20+ years of the book. The portrayal of grief and the way it tears life apart was one of the better characterizations I’ve read.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Gun violence, Death, Hate crime, Blood, Chronic illness, Grief, Mass/school shootings, Murder, Homophobia, Injury/Injury detail, Sexual violence, Terminal illness, Toxic friendship, Violence, and Suicide
gam2005's review against another edition
emotional
informative
relaxing
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
I felt it was a slow burn/character buildup and then the last 100ish pages some drama happens. I liked the story, but I found myself wanting to predict things when it wasn’t that kind of story.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Death
Minor: Hate crime, Gun violence, and Abortion
bct_1101's review against another edition
Some scenes were a bit too close to my own near death experience. I got a good cry then didn’t need to finish the book.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Injury/Injury detail, Death, Hate crime, and Gun violence
Moderate: Body horror
mellowkittenreads's review against another edition
adventurous
dark
reflective
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
This was an interesting read. The title and cool graphic design intrigued me. I went into it honestly not even really reading more than the first couple lines of the description. I have never read a book with this sort of plot line - gamers, growing pains, and even painful experiences of racism and discrimination all in one. The writing style was different- I read it digitally and simultaneously listened along with my spotify membership. It was easy to get immersed into this universe. I liked how there was a mix of present, past, and future AND first and third person- I’m telling y’all very different and yet it worked well for the most part. There were a few times I had to reread to make sure I understood who the narrator was embodying. I finished maybe an hour ago and am still digesting. I share the frustration with Sam and Sadie. On one side would’ve loved if they at least had an intimate experience but on the other side I wanted them to be both single and leave other characters alone with their bad communication skills and annoying behaviors. I am disheartened with how things went with Marx’s character. I liked the representation of disabilities, chronic pain, asian characters. However I wish this book included trigger warnings. I feel a bit overwhelmed and overexposed to the asian discrimination and gun violence the characters experienced. Too vulnerable for us bipoc. I am one who loves happy endings and this was as a whole bittersweet. I adored the link to the meeting up in the station and the ending - so sweet! I think that’s all for now. Give it a try.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Racial slurs, Racism, Grief, Gun violence, Hate crime, Homophobia, Violence, Xenophobia, Chronic illness, and Death
Minor: Death of parent, Sexism, Toxic friendship, Gaslighting, Pregnancy, Toxic relationship, Abortion, Drug use, Mental illness, Vomit, Suicidal thoughts, and Panic attacks/disorders
quackquackbich's review against another edition
inspiring
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Hate crime, Death, Gun violence, and Grief
Moderate: Murder, Car accident, Injury/Injury detail, Homophobia, Toxic relationship, and Death of parent
Minor: Pregnancy and Cancer