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rachelditty's review against another edition
emotional
mysterious
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
I picked this up on a whim after hearing about it through another piece of media. It's been a very, very long time since I've picked something up expecting it to be just another book I read, not affecting me at all, only for it to completely tear my heart in two and leave me reeling for an entire week. This book wrapped me in a blanket, ripped the blanket away, gave it back, hugged me gently, then suplexed me into my dining room table. I can't think of anything to give it other than five stars, because I think Ryke and his ending are going to stay with me for a long, long time.
The first two-thirds of this book were jam-packed with incredible tropes between Ryke and Errel, and given that this is tagged on this website as being LGBTQIA+, I was very excited to see so many romantic tropes between these two men. I really thought they had a chance. Especially after it's revealed that Sorren and Norres, two women, are in a romantic relationship and openly happy with each other. Seeing Ryke tending to Errel's wounds, sleeping together in the woods to "stay warm," sharing a bed in the same house, and generally Ryke's dedication to Errel thoughout the book was so heartwarming and tender to read about. When they got to Vanima--putting aside Errel's blink-and-you-miss-it jealousy over Sorren spending time with Ryke, and Ryke not understanding why he's so jealous of the way Errel looks at Van--I was so tempted to stop reading right there and then. If I don't read past the four of them living in a communist village and being housemates, then nothing bad will ever happen to them again. Man I should have listened to myself.
The blanket was ripped away when it was revealed that Errel didn't want to go back to Tornor, while Ryke was waiting for the moment his prince gave him the command to lead him home. Errel starts dancing with the people of the village, changing his hair for the sake of the ploy they're planning for Col Istor, and Ryke can feel some kind of rift between them that he can't identify or give a name to. It's so sad.
The blanket comes back when the plan works, and Errel takes his rightful place as Lord of the Keep, and everyone is happy. Then he gives the title away to his sister Sorren and decides to leave.
The last two pages absolutely broke me.
Ryke as a character is the pinnacle, the poster boy, for unreliable narrator. He is constantly saying throughout their stay in Vanima that he is not one of them, that he's too old to learn new things, that Tornor is where he needs to get back to, needs to get Errel back to. All the while we see Ryke adjusting to the life he says he can't adjust to--he learns how to fall and fight like them, he works the field, cares for his burns, partakes in the full moon sowing. He's doing exactly what he continuously claims he can't, and we watch him do it! He says he can't learn how to be anything other than what he's been raised to be, but we see him reach out to Errel and try to understand the Cards. We watch him try so desperately to understand the dances that the chearis do. We watch him refuse to give any thought as to why he feels bound to Errel outside his oath to Astor, why he's jealous of Van outside of his use to Errel while Ryke feels useless, why he feels aroused by another man in the village. Ryke is so blind to his own feelings that he continues to miss everyone else's around him. He doesn't understand why Norres detests him for spending so much time with Sorren, why Errel is desolate at the idea that Ryke enjoys Sorren's company so much, or why he himself feels such a strange mix of feelings for Sorren.
At first it was funny. Watching all these romantic tropes unfold between Ryke and Errel was sweet and fun to read--member of the guard protective of the royalty they're caring for, cuddling for warmth, sharing a bed, tending wounds etc.--and it was funny to laugh and wonder how Ryke didn't know he had feelings for Errel. But then Ryke says he's in love with Sorren, "I think" (p. 203), only for him to admit to himself that, "He did not think very often about loving people. He had never learned to use the word right," (p. 203), and cry himself to sleep that night because the words felt wrong coming out of him, but he doesn't know why, and suddenly it isn't funny anymore. It's just heartbreaking. It's so clear to the reader what he's feeling, but he's so confused, and scared at his confusion, and he hates being useless while the dancers are taking the brunt of the action, and it's just fucking sad. I feel so bad for him.
All Ryke wanted was to keep Errel safe and bring the prince back to claim his throne again. He just wants things to go back to how they were. But then Errel gives up his place at Tornor Keep and agrees to go back to Vanima, and Ryke is driven away because Norres still doesn't understand Ryke is not in love with Sorren, and now his entire world is different again. He's back in the north but everything is wrong. And there are instances in the story where the reader begins to wonder if Ryke even likes being a member of the guard anymore, if he ever enjoyed it in the first place. He questions why Sorren would want to live a life like his if she didn't ever have to, and has flashbacks to his friends dead on the battlefield when fighting at Cloud Keep. He second-guesses himself in Tornor when opening the gate, but pushes it away because the battle is happening. Ryke never allows himself a moment to wonder what else he could be if he just allowed himself to try, to wonder. And he had the chance in Vanima. But he missed it. He was trying so hard to go home that he never gave it a chance, and by the end it's too late.
Errel tells him to go to Cloud Keep, because [it's fair to infer that] he doesn't want Ryke back in Vanima because it made Ryke unhappy. And Errel won't stay in the keeps because it made him unhappy. And Ryke pleads in the only way he knows, offering to go with Errel, but Errel says no. He releases Ryke from the oath he swore to his father. An oath Ryke was never truly following anymore, because it wasn't for Astor that Ryke was staying with Errel, it was for Errel, but Errel doesn't know that. And Ryke doesn't fight him, because this is his prince, and fourteen years of training cannot be undone in five short months. But as a last act of defiance, the first we ever truly see from Ryke, he calls Errel "my prince," (p.247) one final time. Because this oath he's made is not one so easily released from. Because even when Errel is far from him, Ryke will still be loyal to him, and love him. Errel will always be his prince.
My heart is broken. I'm crying. I'm fist fighting Elizabeth A. Lynn behind a Perkins.
Some quotes I liked:
"'He was a good man,' said Ryke.
'He was a good lord,' Errel said. 'As a man, he was no better than any of us.'" (p. 104).
"The softness of this southern country disturbed him. He remembered how, on the visit to the grainfields long ago, he had wakened to hear the slush-slush of the wind in the grain. It was terrible at night, like a hundred dead men walking, and he had crawled to his father and thrust himself into the sleeping man's arms. He rested his cheek against the grey gelding's smooth flank, despising himself for the child's voice in his mind that whispered, I want to go home." (p. 115).
"'Ryke.'
'Uh.' Ryke sat up. He could not remember lying down. Errel grinned at him. He held the rein of the grey.
'Come on. You don't want to sleep here.'
'I wasn't sleeping.'
'What were you doing?'
'Dreaming,' Ryke said. He rubbed his eyes and took the grey's rein. The answer made perfect sense to him; it took some time before he worked out why it had made Errel laugh." (p. 122). (Ryke's whole characterization in a nutshell--what he says and thinks make perfect sense, but it takes time for him to understand why others think differently than he does.)
"Her mouth twitched. 'I come from where you come from, remember?'
'Armies don't fight like that.'
'What good are armies?' she asked
The question made no sense. He shook his head, and yelped at the pain. 'I don't understand it,' he said, meaning her, meaning Van...
'I'm too old to learn new tricks,' he grumbled.
She thought this was funny; she laughed at him. 'How old are you?'
'Twenty-seven.'
Dryly she said, 'You'll learn.'...
'Why are you doing this for me?' he said.
'Why not?'" (p. 150-151).
"His tongue felt thick. He did not think very often about loving people. He had never learned to use the word right." (p. 203).
Things about Ryke I will never get over:
He has never seen a firefly before.
He has never had a sunburn.
Only ever called Errel by his name once, and not even to his face.
The oath was sworn to Astor, but it was always about Errel. It's always been an oath to Errel.
"My prince" really means "my love" and no one can ever tell me otherwise. He just never knew it.
The blanket was ripped away when it was revealed that Errel didn't want to go back to Tornor, while Ryke was waiting for the moment his prince gave him the command to lead him home. Errel starts dancing with the people of the village, changing his hair for the sake of the ploy they're planning for Col Istor, and Ryke can feel some kind of rift between them that he can't identify or give a name to. It's so sad.
The blanket comes back when the plan works, and Errel takes his rightful place as Lord of the Keep, and everyone is happy. Then he gives the title away to his sister Sorren and decides to leave.
The last two pages absolutely broke me.
Ryke as a character is the pinnacle, the poster boy, for unreliable narrator. He is constantly saying throughout their stay in Vanima that he is not one of them, that he's too old to learn new things, that Tornor is where he needs to get back to, needs to get Errel back to. All the while we see Ryke adjusting to the life he says he can't adjust to--he learns how to fall and fight like them, he works the field, cares for his burns, partakes in the full moon sowing. He's doing exactly what he continuously claims he can't, and we watch him do it! He says he can't learn how to be anything other than what he's been raised to be, but we see him reach out to Errel and try to understand the Cards. We watch him try so desperately to understand the dances that the chearis do. We watch him refuse to give any thought as to why he feels bound to Errel outside his oath to Astor, why he's jealous of Van outside of his use to Errel while Ryke feels useless, why he feels aroused by another man in the village. Ryke is so blind to his own feelings that he continues to miss everyone else's around him. He doesn't understand why Norres detests him for spending so much time with Sorren, why Errel is desolate at the idea that Ryke enjoys Sorren's company so much, or why he himself feels such a strange mix of feelings for Sorren.
At first it was funny. Watching all these romantic tropes unfold between Ryke and Errel was sweet and fun to read--member of the guard protective of the royalty they're caring for, cuddling for warmth, sharing a bed, tending wounds etc.--and it was funny to laugh and wonder how Ryke didn't know he had feelings for Errel. But then Ryke says he's in love with Sorren, "I think" (p. 203), only for him to admit to himself that, "He did not think very often about loving people. He had never learned to use the word right," (p. 203), and cry himself to sleep that night because the words felt wrong coming out of him, but he doesn't know why, and suddenly it isn't funny anymore. It's just heartbreaking. It's so clear to the reader what he's feeling, but he's so confused, and scared at his confusion, and he hates being useless while the dancers are taking the brunt of the action, and it's just fucking sad. I feel so bad for him.
All Ryke wanted was to keep Errel safe and bring the prince back to claim his throne again. He just wants things to go back to how they were. But then Errel gives up his place at Tornor Keep and agrees to go back to Vanima, and Ryke is driven away because Norres still doesn't understand Ryke is not in love with Sorren, and now his entire world is different again. He's back in the north but everything is wrong. And there are instances in the story where the reader begins to wonder if Ryke even likes being a member of the guard anymore, if he ever enjoyed it in the first place. He questions why Sorren would want to live a life like his if she didn't ever have to, and has flashbacks to his friends dead on the battlefield when fighting at Cloud Keep. He second-guesses himself in Tornor when opening the gate, but pushes it away because the battle is happening. Ryke never allows himself a moment to wonder what else he could be if he just allowed himself to try, to wonder. And he had the chance in Vanima. But he missed it. He was trying so hard to go home that he never gave it a chance, and by the end it's too late.
Errel tells him to go to Cloud Keep, because [it's fair to infer that] he doesn't want Ryke back in Vanima because it made Ryke unhappy. And Errel won't stay in the keeps because it made him unhappy. And Ryke pleads in the only way he knows, offering to go with Errel, but Errel says no. He releases Ryke from the oath he swore to his father. An oath Ryke was never truly following anymore, because it wasn't for Astor that Ryke was staying with Errel, it was for Errel, but Errel doesn't know that. And Ryke doesn't fight him, because this is his prince, and fourteen years of training cannot be undone in five short months. But as a last act of defiance, the first we ever truly see from Ryke, he calls Errel "my prince," (p.247) one final time. Because this oath he's made is not one so easily released from. Because even when Errel is far from him, Ryke will still be loyal to him, and love him. Errel will always be his prince.
My heart is broken. I'm crying. I'm fist fighting Elizabeth A. Lynn behind a Perkins.
Some quotes I liked:
"'He was a good man,' said Ryke.
'He was a good lord,' Errel said. 'As a man, he was no better than any of us.'" (p. 104).
"The softness of this southern country disturbed him. He remembered how, on the visit to the grainfields long ago, he had wakened to hear the slush-slush of the wind in the grain. It was terrible at night, like a hundred dead men walking, and he had crawled to his father and thrust himself into the sleeping man's arms. He rested his cheek against the grey gelding's smooth flank, despising himself for the child's voice in his mind that whispered, I want to go home." (p. 115).
"'Ryke.'
'Uh.' Ryke sat up. He could not remember lying down. Errel grinned at him. He held the rein of the grey.
'Come on. You don't want to sleep here.'
'I wasn't sleeping.'
'What were you doing?'
'Dreaming,' Ryke said. He rubbed his eyes and took the grey's rein. The answer made perfect sense to him; it took some time before he worked out why it had made Errel laugh." (p. 122). (Ryke's whole characterization in a nutshell--what he says and thinks make perfect sense, but it takes time for him to understand why others think differently than he does.)
"Her mouth twitched. 'I come from where you come from, remember?'
'Armies don't fight like that.'
'What good are armies?' she asked
The question made no sense. He shook his head, and yelped at the pain. 'I don't understand it,' he said, meaning her, meaning Van...
'I'm too old to learn new tricks,' he grumbled.
She thought this was funny; she laughed at him. 'How old are you?'
'Twenty-seven.'
Dryly she said, 'You'll learn.'...
'Why are you doing this for me?' he said.
'Why not?'" (p. 150-151).
"His tongue felt thick. He did not think very often about loving people. He had never learned to use the word right." (p. 203).
Things about Ryke I will never get over:
He has never seen a firefly before.
He has never had a sunburn.
Only ever called Errel by his name once, and not even to his face.
The oath was sworn to Astor, but it was always about Errel. It's always been an oath to Errel.
"My prince" really means "my love" and no one can ever tell me otherwise. He just never knew it.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Alcohol, Death, Misogyny, Blood, Medical content, Violence, War, and Injury/Injury detail
Minor: Panic attacks/disorders, Sexual violence, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Death of parent, Rape, and Sexual assault
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