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friedaschopflin's review against another edition
4.75
I’m not looking for sex, I feel too vulnerable for that. I just want somebody to hurt me and humiliate me.
Everybody makes his own world. You see what you want to see and hear what you want to hear.
megnolia13's review
3.0
I read these stories between other things. I’m not entirely sure how I feel about them. The writing is not my style, but the stories had technical merit. They are all a bit depressing, which I know can be an aesthetic, but it’s a lot for one collection. I prefer a bit of a mix and, really, just wasn’t into it at this time.
juliwi's review
4.0
Mary Gaitskill has been on my 'to read' list for quite a long time, ever since I found out the film Secretary was based on a short story of hers. Yet I never got around to reading any of her work until last month, when I saw one of the stories from Because They Wanted To discussed on Electric Literature. After that peek I just had to jump aboard as soon as possible. So I gifted myself the
The collection opens with 'Tiny, Smiling Daddy', in which a father learns his lesbian and slightly estranged daughter has written an article about their fractured relationship. In 'Because They Wanted To', the collection's title story, a young, homeless girl lands herself a job as a babysitter. As the hours tick by and the mother becomes increasingly late in returning, we revisit her childhood until she finds herself having to make a difficult choice. Next is 'Orchid', in which old college roommates Margot and Patrick run into each other and tentatively renew a friendship that is fraught with tension and realizations. 'The Blanket' is perhaps one of my favourite stories in the collection, describing a heady, new relationship full of passionate sex and role-playing which eventually balances on a knife's edge when fantasy and reality meet.
In 'Comfort' a son races home after his mother is in a car accident. As he confronts old family dynamics, he questions the dynamics and patterns in his own relationship as well, though never his own actions. 'The Girl on the Plane' is the story I read about at Electric Literature and although I find it fascinating it is also horrifying. A man on a plane is enticed to tell a tale of sexual exploitation to the woman sitting next to him, due to her passing likeness to the girl at the heart of his tale. 'The Dentist' describes a woman's obsession with her dentist, as well as how their relationship moves between understanding, interest, and even horror. 'Kiss and Tell' is a tale of love turned obsession turned to anger after a man feels rejected and decides to take revenge via a screenplay. The collection ends with an extended story or novella, 'The Wrong Thing', which is split into four chapters. It details the thoughts and exploits of an aging female poet as she is repeatedly disillusioned in romantic relationships, yet finds potential happiness in friendship. This is the only story told in a first-person narration, and therefore is an interesting way to end the collection.
There is an odd repetitiveness at work in these stories, each of which hits you like a sledgehammer but leaves no mark. The way Gaitskill describes loneliness and longing, the way we hurt each other inadvertently and on purpose absolutely strikes true, but sometimes it remains a little surface-level. Although I had full access to her characters' emotional and internal lives, I never truly connected in the way I would have liked to. It felt like watching a very dramatic, intense movie, in which everything is beautifully lit to reveal the ugly, but walking away you mostly remember the drama and the glamour of it all. And perhaps that is why I couldn't be fully into this collection, because despite the hurt and the pain, there was a sheen of glamour attached to the suffering that made it distant. And this was an odd realization for me to have, since Gaitskill's writing is like no other. There is no doubt she excells at this and each story she created felt complete, from the clear image of apartments, houses, outfits, plants and gestures, yet there was an awareness to the language when it came from the characters that I couldn't quite get behind. They are so aware of themselves, in a way I believe we humans rarely are. Take the instance where a woman answers her deli owner's question of how she is with the statement that she has longings that will never be satisfied. It's a beautiful moment, you can picture it, but who would actually say that? And if someone did, wouldn't they be a little bit insufferable, rather than empathetic?
There is no doubt Mary Gaitskill is a brilliant author. There is such precision in each word that she almost reminds me of Beethoven; take one note away and the whole thing will crumble. It is a joy to read and makes for a sumptuous reading experience. The general sadness of the collection almost became addicting, however, in that I was waiting for each story to hit its high moment of sadness or violence or doubt or loss. There was something cathartic about reading these stories, seeing that shared experience of striving for something unknown, knowing that you're not the only one. But then, because there was a real sense in which these characters didn't feel like real people, that recognition could only go so far. Rather you ask yourself why your midnight ruminations never happen at fancy parties full of poets and sex-workers and professors, but rather alone, in your room, and in the dark. In a sense this approach allows for a more precise, almost clinical approach to the deep and conflicting emotions these characters feel, setting up a little bit of a contrast where you know everything but are at a remove. This way Gaitskill performs the ultimate trick in that the reader themselves is now longing to be a part of it, reaching for a connection, perfectly aware of their needs and not having them met entirely.
I'm aware this review sounds very conflicted and that is the case. The stories in Because They Wanted To are stunning, ferocious, quiet, and violent all at once and I couldn't stop reading them. But now I'm sat in the aftermath and there is a sense of having wanted more. So I will be reading Gaitskill's Don't Cry next.
Link: https://universeinwords.blogspot.com/2021/05/review-because-they-wanted-to-stories.html
The collection opens with 'Tiny, Smiling Daddy', in which a father learns his lesbian and slightly estranged daughter has written an article about their fractured relationship. In 'Because They Wanted To', the collection's title story, a young, homeless girl lands herself a job as a babysitter. As the hours tick by and the mother becomes increasingly late in returning, we revisit her childhood until she finds herself having to make a difficult choice. Next is 'Orchid', in which old college roommates Margot and Patrick run into each other and tentatively renew a friendship that is fraught with tension and realizations. 'The Blanket' is perhaps one of my favourite stories in the collection, describing a heady, new relationship full of passionate sex and role-playing which eventually balances on a knife's edge when fantasy and reality meet.
In 'Comfort' a son races home after his mother is in a car accident. As he confronts old family dynamics, he questions the dynamics and patterns in his own relationship as well, though never his own actions. 'The Girl on the Plane' is the story I read about at Electric Literature and although I find it fascinating it is also horrifying. A man on a plane is enticed to tell a tale of sexual exploitation to the woman sitting next to him, due to her passing likeness to the girl at the heart of his tale. 'The Dentist' describes a woman's obsession with her dentist, as well as how their relationship moves between understanding, interest, and even horror. 'Kiss and Tell' is a tale of love turned obsession turned to anger after a man feels rejected and decides to take revenge via a screenplay. The collection ends with an extended story or novella, 'The Wrong Thing', which is split into four chapters. It details the thoughts and exploits of an aging female poet as she is repeatedly disillusioned in romantic relationships, yet finds potential happiness in friendship. This is the only story told in a first-person narration, and therefore is an interesting way to end the collection.
There is an odd repetitiveness at work in these stories, each of which hits you like a sledgehammer but leaves no mark. The way Gaitskill describes loneliness and longing, the way we hurt each other inadvertently and on purpose absolutely strikes true, but sometimes it remains a little surface-level. Although I had full access to her characters' emotional and internal lives, I never truly connected in the way I would have liked to. It felt like watching a very dramatic, intense movie, in which everything is beautifully lit to reveal the ugly, but walking away you mostly remember the drama and the glamour of it all. And perhaps that is why I couldn't be fully into this collection, because despite the hurt and the pain, there was a sheen of glamour attached to the suffering that made it distant. And this was an odd realization for me to have, since Gaitskill's writing is like no other. There is no doubt she excells at this and each story she created felt complete, from the clear image of apartments, houses, outfits, plants and gestures, yet there was an awareness to the language when it came from the characters that I couldn't quite get behind. They are so aware of themselves, in a way I believe we humans rarely are. Take the instance where a woman answers her deli owner's question of how she is with the statement that she has longings that will never be satisfied. It's a beautiful moment, you can picture it, but who would actually say that? And if someone did, wouldn't they be a little bit insufferable, rather than empathetic?
There is no doubt Mary Gaitskill is a brilliant author. There is such precision in each word that she almost reminds me of Beethoven; take one note away and the whole thing will crumble. It is a joy to read and makes for a sumptuous reading experience. The general sadness of the collection almost became addicting, however, in that I was waiting for each story to hit its high moment of sadness or violence or doubt or loss. There was something cathartic about reading these stories, seeing that shared experience of striving for something unknown, knowing that you're not the only one. But then, because there was a real sense in which these characters didn't feel like real people, that recognition could only go so far. Rather you ask yourself why your midnight ruminations never happen at fancy parties full of poets and sex-workers and professors, but rather alone, in your room, and in the dark. In a sense this approach allows for a more precise, almost clinical approach to the deep and conflicting emotions these characters feel, setting up a little bit of a contrast where you know everything but are at a remove. This way Gaitskill performs the ultimate trick in that the reader themselves is now longing to be a part of it, reaching for a connection, perfectly aware of their needs and not having them met entirely.
I'm aware this review sounds very conflicted and that is the case. The stories in Because They Wanted To are stunning, ferocious, quiet, and violent all at once and I couldn't stop reading them. But now I'm sat in the aftermath and there is a sense of having wanted more. So I will be reading Gaitskill's Don't Cry next.
Link: https://universeinwords.blogspot.com/2021/05/review-because-they-wanted-to-stories.html
ecari's review
4.0
Mary Gaitskill has an incredible talent for putting into writing intimate and often perhaps best-left-unrevealed thoughts, urges, emotions. The stories of "Because They Wanted To" were incredibly well-written, thought-provoking and - I found - painful, taken in full. Gaitskill frequently writes the way I feel somehow, which convinced me that even when the thoughts expressed were not mine, they are nonetheless real. I've never read such raw emotion, I don't think, except for The Golden Notebook by Doris Lessing. There were a few times when I read a passage that was like finding out that the emotions I hold deep inside and couldn't not even articulate to myself, but only feel, have been discovered and put down for everyone to read. It's simultaneously comforting, familiar and distressing. But these stories are heartbreakingly sad... it made me wonder if Gaitskill can do the same thing with joy or happiness or discovery? Most of the stories are of desperation, visceral desire, depression, fear - it would be a pleasure to read her exploration the brighter side of emotion, which I believe can have the same depth and complexity. Regardless, read this book, but I recommend taking it one story at a time. Thanks for recommendation, Cara!
crabbygirl's review
2.0
perhaps i'm too old or prudish to read a book that mostly features single, 30 year olds searching or meaning and/or sex.
i read and loved 'Bad Behavior', and 'Two Girls, Fat and Thin'... i practically begged my book club to read this collection of short stories. and now i'm feeling slightly embarrassed to defend these stories that are hyper focused on sex in general, and masochism in specific.
i read and loved 'Bad Behavior', and 'Two Girls, Fat and Thin'... i practically begged my book club to read this collection of short stories. and now i'm feeling slightly embarrassed to defend these stories that are hyper focused on sex in general, and masochism in specific.
emilylandry's review
4.0
I've written before about the fact that Mary Gaitskill is one of my favorite authors. She still is, but this book of short stories is really intense. One review on the cover says that they are too rich for one sitting, but too compelling not to read in one sitting. I definitely agree. Gaitskill often writes about S/M, sexual abuse, people with intimacy issues, people suffering from illness, etc etc etc. In one novel, you will get a lot of in-depth investigation of any characters "issue," but you also get a lot more complexity outside of that. In a book of short stories, you just get a lot of perversion. I enjoyed how she would write sort of common narratives from the "other" point of view, but make them complex characters. The best part of the book was the short novella at the end about a poetry professor who goes through a trio of very different relationships in four parts.
natashangel's review against another edition
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
3.5
samsam123's review
3.0
This book written by Mary Gaitskill was published in 1997, and yet the issues it explores are just as relevant today. The stories in this book are about the inner lives of people and the messy relationships they get in, including queer relationships. Kristen Roupenian’s collection of short stories is very reminiscent of these stories.
Gaitskill can write tension so well. My favourite stories that build so much tension include Because They Wanted To, about a girl who takes on a babysitting gig that goes strangely wrong. The Dentist, which is about a woman who falls for her peculiar dentist. Oh, and Girl on a Plane is another excellent story that describes a woman’s experience beside a stranger who will not stop over sharing. There are other great stories in here too, yet the second part of the book has a series of stories with the same protagonist. This latter part was less successful for me. I got bored with this character and preferred the other stories to these ones. However, I enjoyed how the main character does not conform to stereotypes and was a complicated academic who had complicated queer and hetero relationships.
Gaitskill can write tension so well. My favourite stories that build so much tension include Because They Wanted To, about a girl who takes on a babysitting gig that goes strangely wrong. The Dentist, which is about a woman who falls for her peculiar dentist. Oh, and Girl on a Plane is another excellent story that describes a woman’s experience beside a stranger who will not stop over sharing. There are other great stories in here too, yet the second part of the book has a series of stories with the same protagonist. This latter part was less successful for me. I got bored with this character and preferred the other stories to these ones. However, I enjoyed how the main character does not conform to stereotypes and was a complicated academic who had complicated queer and hetero relationships.
an_enthusiastic_reader's review against another edition
3.0
Three and a half stars. Gaitskill's writing wins me over every time. In this collection, the characters are open wounds of unrealized want. They are suffering and angry and can't always name what they're feeling. Often this pent up rage is directed at other people. Gaitskill gives voice to the characters' pain. I like her novels more, however.