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4.05 AVERAGE
4.05 AVERAGE
Finally read Quiet by Susan Cain. Eight years behind the popularity but still worth the read and the strong reminder that it is important to create space and not hang on to the fantasy of the extrovert ideal.
Felt like it was full of generalizations on both extrovert and introvert side but understandable when writing a book of this nature.
“The secret to life is to put yourself in the right lighting. For some, it's a Broadway spotlight; for others, a lamplit desk. Use your natural powers -- of persistence, concentration, and insight -- to do work you love and work that matters. Solve problems, make art, think deeply.”
Felt like it was full of generalizations on both extrovert and introvert side but understandable when writing a book of this nature.
“The secret to life is to put yourself in the right lighting. For some, it's a Broadway spotlight; for others, a lamplit desk. Use your natural powers -- of persistence, concentration, and insight -- to do work you love and work that matters. Solve problems, make art, think deeply.”
informative
medium-paced
informative
medium-paced
informative
medium-paced
informative
reflective
slow-paced
Super-interesting read on introverts and how they fit into society. I wouldn't say I learned a ton of new things but it was a lot of reaffirming things I already thought/had heard before. Definitely interesting to think about for school and/or the workplace and trying some new ideas. And makes me feel totally justified for whenever I'd rather just stay in and read and watch tv rather than going out every night :).
This is the FUBU of books. For anyone not a fan of clothing designer and entrepreneur Daymond John (the same guy on the tv show Shark Tank), his first clothing line was named FUBU because it was "for us, by us." This book is by an introvert and for introverts. There are some interesting facts in this book, but it's such a chore to wade through all of the judgment and condemnation, it's amazing that any non-introverts have actually finished the book. I did, but I'm particularly resilient, and it was on audiobook so I could just listen while I was doing other work (which is how I listen to lots of books, as I have mad multitasking skills). In almost every example in every chapter of this book, the introverts are the heroes who save the day with their thoughtfulness and superior intelligence. Everyone else is an "other" and therefore loud, stupid, annoying, and did I say dumber than the chosen ones. For example, Einstein is an introvert and Tony Robbins is an extravert. Therefore, all extraverts are Tony Robbins and all introverts are Einstein. Well this seems like a fair and balanced discussion on the topic. President Obama is an extravert, but no, we get yapping dog Tony Robbins as our poster boy. Awesome. Yet I soldiered on.
Full disclosure: on the introvert / extravert quiz near the beginning of the book, I scored as an ambivert. Not a shocker to me, as I know I'd rather spend a night at home reading a book than out at a crowded bar, and I'd actually much rather write up my thoughts in a paper than have to present on it. But I know I'm loud. My mom has been complaining about how loud I am for decades (not so much recently, but when I was a kid). There are people (lots of my coworkers, actually) who don't think I got the right score because I'm such a talker, even in big groups. Yes, I talk in big groups. I enjoy giving presentations and usually even inject some lame jokes into my otherwise dry subject matter. I will always jump at the opportunity to speak in front of a group, to lead a discussion, to go first with an ice breaker. But once the possibility of ambiverts was raised with the quiz (and my results as one), that whole concept went straight out the window and the whole world was divided into an "us vs. them" mentality as the author went about proving her case that:
1. introverts are superior, and
2. the world would be a much better place if we would all just shut up and let them rule. Of course they can't really rule as they won't speak up, but we should make them. But not really "make" them, as that is mean. And the world is very mean to the precious introverts, bunch of jerks that we are, saying our thoughts out loud and such other brash behavior. But we should all sit around really quietly and patiently and wait for them to feel comfortable enough to allow the pearls of wisdom to flow down from their lips. And then we should just do what they say without asking any questions, as questions are mean because they put people on the spot, and the don't want the pressure of having to answer questions from you idiots, just do what we say. Or rather what we don't say, but you should just intuit what we want to say and do it, and you're a total jerk if you don't.
This went on for hours and hours. It took me weeks to finish this audiobook. In that time, I finished about 8 other books (fiction) that were actually enjoyable. But I am a finisher of extraordinary strength and hardly ever fail to finish a book. Even books that I really hate. Well, I didn't finish City at the End of Time as I was getting dumber and dumber as I tried to read that awful book, but that was unusual. I still won't forgive Eli from bookclub for suggesting that one. I'm kidding (a little), because I like Eli, but gah, that was terrible. And this was equally bad, but I was "recommended" this book by my boss, so the motivation was there. I even kept notes of the topics that I didn't think were complete tripe. Here's a list:
1. The Harvard School of Business is a den of jack-assess. I completely agree. Is this even an option for most of the universe though? It seemed like a rather alienatingly elitist way to start off this book for the masses. But then I remembered - this book isn't for the masses. It's for the snowflakes.
2. Open Plan Offices suck as a place to work. Yes, to the power of 10. Who in the world wants to see their coworkers eating at their workstations. Gag.
3. There can be great power in pairing up an introvert and an extravert, such as Moses and Aaron, and Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt. Actually, I agree 100% and the author's short shrift on this topic annoyed me greatly. She acknowledged the complementary strengths in these pairs, but then went on to rave about the solo genius of Steve Wozniak (whom I adored on Dancing With The Stars) and most of the book seemed devoted to the solitary achievements of introverts rather than their abilities to work with others, whether those others were "us" or "them".
4. Working in groups usually sucks, and the bigger the group, the less work gets done. Yes, I generally agree. I write contracts, and usually I write alone, and then meet with my "small group" of clients to make sure I have their issues addressed, their point of view represented, and then we wheel it out in front of the larger group of all impacted business groups and solicit their feedback / buy-in. In the rare times when we're trying to edit / make a correction on the spot in front of a meeting with 20 people in it, the whole drafting process becomes ridiculously labored and not high quality. But, that doesn't mean that we don't need the whole group's buy-in, so we do this in steps to avoid drafting by committee. You could do this too. I don't own this process.
5. High degrees of reactivity in babies signals introversion (not extraversion as some might think). As the mom of a son on the autism spectrum with sensory processing issues, and also two other kids, I could certainly tell that my ASD son was reacting more, and didn't think it was because he was playing to an audience. Things bug him. A lot.
6. The myth of catharsis - I agree. One of my favorite episodes of Seinfeld was the one with "Serenity Now!" where George's dad is following the guidance of a self-help guru who states "serenity now" whenever he is frustrated. It doesn't work. But, as a joke (and I joke a lot) I say that when things are frustrating and it makes me laugh to remember Frank Costanza going nuts. I don't go around yelling at people when I'm frustrated, as I'm not a jerk. But, I may react when things are frustrating and irritating, as I'm not a robot.
7. The stimulation level "sweet spot" - I liked this concept. I actually work better when I have an audiobook or music in the background, as otherwise I can hear the white noise in the office or something else annoying. I find it very hard to sit through a meeting just listening to other people, and have to take notes (or doodle) to be able to keep focused on the speaker. I'd much rather listen to the speaker in my headset while also surfing the web in my office, as I can focus just fine on two things, and get very bored just doing one thing for too long. That's my sweet spot. Others in my office don't understand and think I'm just goofing off, when really, I've just drafted a whole contract, thank you very much.
There were other things in this book that I also agreed with or found valuable. But, it was steeped in so much judgmental b.s. that it was hard to take. Hidden in one small part of one chapter was a reference to a study which indicated that intelligence scores are actually almost identical to both groups, so there is just as many intelligent and not so intelligent people in each camp. But you can't count on ten sets of hands how many times the author stressed the superior "thoughtfulness" and "insightfulness" of introverts who are "reading" rather than "charging around." Oh my goodness. The sweeping generalizations abound! Seriously, I was trying to keep track, but quit after a dozen as I was so disgusted with this attitude. The most frustrating thing was that this book offered no suggestions for how the two groups should better work together, other than all you extraverts need to shut up and listen. No actual steps for the two sides to better work together, other than understand the "specialness" of the introverts. I wonder how a "real extravert" would feel, as I'm actually only half of one.
Full disclosure: on the introvert / extravert quiz near the beginning of the book, I scored as an ambivert. Not a shocker to me, as I know I'd rather spend a night at home reading a book than out at a crowded bar, and I'd actually much rather write up my thoughts in a paper than have to present on it. But I know I'm loud. My mom has been complaining about how loud I am for decades (not so much recently, but when I was a kid). There are people (lots of my coworkers, actually) who don't think I got the right score because I'm such a talker, even in big groups. Yes, I talk in big groups. I enjoy giving presentations and usually even inject some lame jokes into my otherwise dry subject matter. I will always jump at the opportunity to speak in front of a group, to lead a discussion, to go first with an ice breaker. But once the possibility of ambiverts was raised with the quiz (and my results as one), that whole concept went straight out the window and the whole world was divided into an "us vs. them" mentality as the author went about proving her case that:
1. introverts are superior, and
2. the world would be a much better place if we would all just shut up and let them rule. Of course they can't really rule as they won't speak up, but we should make them. But not really "make" them, as that is mean. And the world is very mean to the precious introverts, bunch of jerks that we are, saying our thoughts out loud and such other brash behavior. But we should all sit around really quietly and patiently and wait for them to feel comfortable enough to allow the pearls of wisdom to flow down from their lips. And then we should just do what they say without asking any questions, as questions are mean because they put people on the spot, and the don't want the pressure of having to answer questions from you idiots, just do what we say. Or rather what we don't say, but you should just intuit what we want to say and do it, and you're a total jerk if you don't.
This went on for hours and hours. It took me weeks to finish this audiobook. In that time, I finished about 8 other books (fiction) that were actually enjoyable. But I am a finisher of extraordinary strength and hardly ever fail to finish a book. Even books that I really hate. Well, I didn't finish City at the End of Time as I was getting dumber and dumber as I tried to read that awful book, but that was unusual. I still won't forgive Eli from bookclub for suggesting that one. I'm kidding (a little), because I like Eli, but gah, that was terrible. And this was equally bad, but I was "recommended" this book by my boss, so the motivation was there. I even kept notes of the topics that I didn't think were complete tripe. Here's a list:
1. The Harvard School of Business is a den of jack-assess. I completely agree. Is this even an option for most of the universe though? It seemed like a rather alienatingly elitist way to start off this book for the masses. But then I remembered - this book isn't for the masses. It's for the snowflakes.
2. Open Plan Offices suck as a place to work. Yes, to the power of 10. Who in the world wants to see their coworkers eating at their workstations. Gag.
3. There can be great power in pairing up an introvert and an extravert, such as Moses and Aaron, and Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt. Actually, I agree 100% and the author's short shrift on this topic annoyed me greatly. She acknowledged the complementary strengths in these pairs, but then went on to rave about the solo genius of Steve Wozniak (whom I adored on Dancing With The Stars) and most of the book seemed devoted to the solitary achievements of introverts rather than their abilities to work with others, whether those others were "us" or "them".
4. Working in groups usually sucks, and the bigger the group, the less work gets done. Yes, I generally agree. I write contracts, and usually I write alone, and then meet with my "small group" of clients to make sure I have their issues addressed, their point of view represented, and then we wheel it out in front of the larger group of all impacted business groups and solicit their feedback / buy-in. In the rare times when we're trying to edit / make a correction on the spot in front of a meeting with 20 people in it, the whole drafting process becomes ridiculously labored and not high quality. But, that doesn't mean that we don't need the whole group's buy-in, so we do this in steps to avoid drafting by committee. You could do this too. I don't own this process.
5. High degrees of reactivity in babies signals introversion (not extraversion as some might think). As the mom of a son on the autism spectrum with sensory processing issues, and also two other kids, I could certainly tell that my ASD son was reacting more, and didn't think it was because he was playing to an audience. Things bug him. A lot.
6. The myth of catharsis - I agree. One of my favorite episodes of Seinfeld was the one with "Serenity Now!" where George's dad is following the guidance of a self-help guru who states "serenity now" whenever he is frustrated. It doesn't work. But, as a joke (and I joke a lot) I say that when things are frustrating and it makes me laugh to remember Frank Costanza going nuts. I don't go around yelling at people when I'm frustrated, as I'm not a jerk. But, I may react when things are frustrating and irritating, as I'm not a robot.
7. The stimulation level "sweet spot" - I liked this concept. I actually work better when I have an audiobook or music in the background, as otherwise I can hear the white noise in the office or something else annoying. I find it very hard to sit through a meeting just listening to other people, and have to take notes (or doodle) to be able to keep focused on the speaker. I'd much rather listen to the speaker in my headset while also surfing the web in my office, as I can focus just fine on two things, and get very bored just doing one thing for too long. That's my sweet spot. Others in my office don't understand and think I'm just goofing off, when really, I've just drafted a whole contract, thank you very much.
There were other things in this book that I also agreed with or found valuable. But, it was steeped in so much judgmental b.s. that it was hard to take. Hidden in one small part of one chapter was a reference to a study which indicated that intelligence scores are actually almost identical to both groups, so there is just as many intelligent and not so intelligent people in each camp. But you can't count on ten sets of hands how many times the author stressed the superior "thoughtfulness" and "insightfulness" of introverts who are "reading" rather than "charging around." Oh my goodness. The sweeping generalizations abound! Seriously, I was trying to keep track, but quit after a dozen as I was so disgusted with this attitude. The most frustrating thing was that this book offered no suggestions for how the two groups should better work together, other than all you extraverts need to shut up and listen. No actual steps for the two sides to better work together, other than understand the "specialness" of the introverts. I wonder how a "real extravert" would feel, as I'm actually only half of one.
This book is amazing. It took me quite a while to read but this is one book everyone should read. If you work in a business environment, are married, have kids, have friends, etc knowing how introverts and extroverts differ in the way they interact with the world will be invaluable. I recognized so much of myself and my behaviors and enjoyed learning about the science and physiology behind the actions. I will definitely be going back to this book
informative
slow-paced
informative
slow-paced
As an introvert, I found the perspectives and stories in this book interesting, relatable, and sometimes validating. That said, not all of it resonated, and some of it felt overly stereotyped. Overall worth a read.