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4.22 AVERAGE
4.22 AVERAGE
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
slow-paced
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
I don't think I could've read this book at a better time. With the way my mental health has been going these past few months, this book has helped me in so many ways. I've already used some of the techniques and exercises within, and they have calmed me down when I couldn't figure out how before. I've been a fan of Dan (and Phil) since 2014, so this was also a great way of seeing how far Dan has come, as well as myself. I will definitely be trying to get a physical copy, so I can always return to this in times of need.
fast-paced
Did I read any page at all of the other books I've been trying to finish since the 1st day of the month? No. Did I read this in two days? Yes.
I mostly picked this up because I was interested if it could answer that age-old question: can youtubers write good books? The answer I got from You Will Get Through This Night was a hard "maybe". I did also pick it up because I've been on a nostalgia-driven Dan and Phil kick, and I wondered if Dan was a good writer and if this work was a good self-help book, since many are just terrible.
Compared to other mental health books, I actually think it's alright. Some things it does that most texts from the genre don't even manage a little bit:
I mostly picked this up because I was interested if it could answer that age-old question: can youtubers write good books? The answer I got from You Will Get Through This Night was a hard "maybe". I did also pick it up because I've been on a nostalgia-driven Dan and Phil kick, and I wondered if Dan was a good writer and if this work was a good self-help book, since many are just terrible.
Compared to other mental health books, I actually think it's alright. Some things it does that most texts from the genre don't even manage a little bit:
- it does not pretend to be the end-all-be-all solution to mental health.
- it is not so generic as to be actively useless.
- it is not, overtly dangerous or downright reactionary (we'll talk about it later).
All three of those points are genuine compliments - the mental health/self-help genre is absolutely drowning in fucking terrible books, and I'm glad to report that this isn't one of them. You Will Get Through is self-aware and can be a helpful toolbox. But don't fire your therapist just yet.
Compliments
So, is the toolbox any good? Uhh... actually, it's not bad! I'm glad to report the toolbox is fine! This work is structured in three parts, "this night," which teaches base coping skills for crisis moments, "tomorrow", which builds upon basic coping by teaching the reader the core principles of good self care, and "the days after that", where the book gently coaxes the reader into considering there may be a bigger problem at hand if you're struggling to get dressed every day. The exercises it provides are nothing new if you've been to therapy for a longer time, but again, the purpose is explicitly to lend a helping hand to people who are not in therapy (yet).
Sprinkled throughout the text are details that show off the text's empathy - there is a section on sleep that relays the tip to only use your bed for sex and sleep (I can hear you say "but isn't that a super trite and common tip" to which I'll respond: shut up, we're in the compliments part of the review), which is countered with a small note on what you can do if a bed is the only space you have to yourself. The section on food privileges a discussion feelings of guilt over eating "unhealthy" and accepting imperfection instead of pressuring the reader to pick the perfect diet and stick to it.
I've found most mental health books only teach their readers cognitive behavioural therapy techniques. It's deeply frustrating, because CBT is often not great at teaching people how to cope with mental health beyond repetitive technical strategies. This book encourages readers to be kinder to themselves instead of more disciplined, which is surprisingly rare in the genre and something that a lot of people would find a genuinely helpful approach.
The whole thing is written in Howell's signature self-deprecating tone, which is notable since many mental health books are completely devoid of style or talk down to the reader like they were born yesterday.
Lastly, the book tends to explain why certain techniques or exercises work, which even some therapists could learn from.
Constructive criticism
Okay, um, so... this book is, I can't put it any other way.... It's very Dan Howell. That signature tone? It's everywhere. And it gets a little exhausting at times, which is why it took me two days to read. My suggestion: turn down the "laugh at my pain to feel better" dial by about a million.
The discussion of toxic masculinity could have used a more practiced feminist eye. Howell spends the whole segment discussing how patriarchy hurts men as well, even invokes the infamous "male suicide rate" talking point. He spends time comforting the "traditional man" reading this book (not exactly his target audience, but okay), telling him that resisting patriarchal structures will allow him to "set [himself] free", but stops short of realising why so many men will still gladly uphold this patriarchy that supposedly hurts them, too. It's because patriarchy grants them power by subjugating minority genders and relational practices that do not strengthen the patriarchal nuclear family.
Very briefly the book mentions the police as a "safe place" to go during a mental health crisis. Quite frankly, even as a white European, that is one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. Most cops are not trained in mental health guidance or even use proper de-escalation techniques. That and the fact that police can and have killed and imprisoned people who were clearly going through nothing more than a mental health episode or breakdown without being any danger to themselves or others, makes the suggestion outright dangerous. But, for transparency's sake, I have to say the suggestion is basically a footnote.
The book has some useful exercises and is genuinely thoughtful in places. It is, though, a mental health book, and by far most of the actionable points you can find for free on the internet if you google stuff like "how to self care" "coping with x emotion" or "grounding exercises" - actually, the entire first section (the first night) could be found on google. Beside the compliment I gave before, basically the entire section on sleep and food would be known to anyone who's ever seen a GP about sleep or fatigue issues.
Conclusion
It's fine. If you haven't had therapy before, this could serve as a good starting to point to think about your own mental health more. If you have had therapy but you need a bit of a refresher on coping techniques and thinking through your own head, this book could be a good place to review those things.
Compliments
So, is the toolbox any good? Uhh... actually, it's not bad! I'm glad to report the toolbox is fine! This work is structured in three parts, "this night," which teaches base coping skills for crisis moments, "tomorrow", which builds upon basic coping by teaching the reader the core principles of good self care, and "the days after that", where the book gently coaxes the reader into considering there may be a bigger problem at hand if you're struggling to get dressed every day. The exercises it provides are nothing new if you've been to therapy for a longer time, but again, the purpose is explicitly to lend a helping hand to people who are not in therapy (yet).
Sprinkled throughout the text are details that show off the text's empathy - there is a section on sleep that relays the tip to only use your bed for sex and sleep (I can hear you say "but isn't that a super trite and common tip" to which I'll respond: shut up, we're in the compliments part of the review), which is countered with a small note on what you can do if a bed is the only space you have to yourself. The section on food privileges a discussion feelings of guilt over eating "unhealthy" and accepting imperfection instead of pressuring the reader to pick the perfect diet and stick to it.
I've found most mental health books only teach their readers cognitive behavioural therapy techniques. It's deeply frustrating, because CBT is often not great at teaching people how to cope with mental health beyond repetitive technical strategies. This book encourages readers to be kinder to themselves instead of more disciplined, which is surprisingly rare in the genre and something that a lot of people would find a genuinely helpful approach.
The whole thing is written in Howell's signature self-deprecating tone, which is notable since many mental health books are completely devoid of style or talk down to the reader like they were born yesterday.
Lastly, the book tends to explain why certain techniques or exercises work, which even some therapists could learn from.
Constructive criticism
Okay, um, so... this book is, I can't put it any other way.... It's very Dan Howell. That signature tone? It's everywhere. And it gets a little exhausting at times, which is why it took me two days to read. My suggestion: turn down the "laugh at my pain to feel better" dial by about a million.
The discussion of toxic masculinity could have used a more practiced feminist eye. Howell spends the whole segment discussing how patriarchy hurts men as well, even invokes the infamous "male suicide rate" talking point. He spends time comforting the "traditional man" reading this book (not exactly his target audience, but okay), telling him that resisting patriarchal structures will allow him to "set [himself] free", but stops short of realising why so many men will still gladly uphold this patriarchy that supposedly hurts them, too. It's because patriarchy grants them power by subjugating minority genders and relational practices that do not strengthen the patriarchal nuclear family.
Very briefly the book mentions the police as a "safe place" to go during a mental health crisis. Quite frankly, even as a white European, that is one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. Most cops are not trained in mental health guidance or even use proper de-escalation techniques. That and the fact that police can and have killed and imprisoned people who were clearly going through nothing more than a mental health episode or breakdown without being any danger to themselves or others, makes the suggestion outright dangerous. But, for transparency's sake, I have to say the suggestion is basically a footnote.
The book has some useful exercises and is genuinely thoughtful in places. It is, though, a mental health book, and by far most of the actionable points you can find for free on the internet if you google stuff like "how to self care" "coping with x emotion" or "grounding exercises" - actually, the entire first section (the first night) could be found on google. Beside the compliment I gave before, basically the entire section on sleep and food would be known to anyone who's ever seen a GP about sleep or fatigue issues.
Conclusion
It's fine. If you haven't had therapy before, this could serve as a good starting to point to think about your own mental health more. If you have had therapy but you need a bit of a refresher on coping techniques and thinking through your own head, this book could be a good place to review those things.
Knew I was gonna love this but it way surpassed my expectations and was so enjoyable and important. I love!
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
A beautiful guide to self.
exactly the kind of book that emo teens and young adults need to begin their mental health care journey. (read via audiobook, which in itself gets 5 stars)
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
emotional
hopeful
informative
mysterious
medium-paced
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicidal thoughts
Moderate: Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Self harm, Grief
Minor: Bullying, Homophobia
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
I'm entering my third decade of life this year, and been in and out of therapy for at least one of those decades... Basically, I'm just trying to say that maybe I'm not exactly the target audience for this book. However, I am a fan of the YouTube channels and I am always seeking ways to remind myself that my mental health does not define me, and that life is a series of seasons and each one brings different lessons. I liked it, lots of good advice mixed with humorous anecdotes and a nice way to kick off 2025.
i am a mentally ill ex demon phannie. this book is so useful. i’ve marked so many pages with sticky notes it looks like i’m studying it. and like i kind of am i guess???? it’s the first thing in awhile that’s actually made me try to get better because it explains how. it feels very personal while still maintaining a focus on facts. awesome. i’d recommend it to anyone struggling with their mental health 100%