Reviews with content warning for Toxic friendship - The Grief Keeper

Reviews tagging 'Toxic friendship'

The Grief Keeper by Alexandra Villasante

3 reviews

hobbithopeful's review

dark emotional sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? No

4.5

Would you take on someone else's pain and grief for a chance at a better life?
Marisol has little choice to do otherwise when she agrees to be a part of an experiment in exchange for safety for her and her sister. As the experiment progresses the burden of pain soon becomes overbearing, but she can't help but grow closer and closer to Rey, even though when she touches her the pain is all consuming.
A very real look at how immigrants are treated, this book was heartfelt, real, and full of grief. I do wish it was a bit longer, I still had so many questions, or maybe I just wasn't ready to leave these characters yet. I was afraid this was going to be a very heavy read, and while it does have pockets of sadness, it was nothing too difficult or graphic for me to get through.
It's very easy to forget the privilege we have for being in America, as bad as events and people here can be, there are countless others who works themselves to the bone and risk everything to come here.
I highly recommend this book.

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just_one_more_paige's review

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challenging emotional hopeful reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.0

In my (mostly failing but ever effortful) attempt to read the backlist books on my shelves at home between the myriad newer releases and library holds that just keep coming, I present this success! This was part of a used bookstore haul a while ago; the concept (which I feel like I have also read about in other books/shows as well, though none of them are coming to mind now) of transferring emotions from one person to another is one that I find really interesting, so I wanted to see this take on it.

This novel opens with Marisol and her younger sister, Gabi, having just arrived in the US hoping to achieve asylum after escaping from a dangerous situation, one that caused their brother's death, in El Salvador. When Marisol is presented with a "choice" that would make their case for asylum stronger, by participating in a trial for a new technology that would take someone else's grief into her own body, she agrees to it. It's a risk, but Marisol would do anything to protect her younger sister, especially since she feels like it's her fault Gabi was put in such a terrible situation to begin with. Life in America isn't quite like Marisol has seen in her favorite tv shows, but as she bonds with the person she's been paired with for the experiment (Ray) even past what the trial should include, and their feelings for each other grow, Marisol and Ray find that they might be able to help each other move past their griefs together.

I felt like this was a YA novel that read very young. Gabi specifically felt younger than twelve to me, though in fairness, the story was written from Marisol's POV, so that could be her voice projecting onto her "baby" sister. But overall, there was just a very naive vibe to the writing that felt a bit off, considering the life experiences of the sisters. By the end, the writing did morph into something that felt more age-appropriate, but having that transition over such a short time period then just seemed too fast. To clarify, it's not at all that the writing was bad, but just that my biggest "iffy" feeling over the entire reading experience was that the maturity of the writing seemed like it didn't match the character's ages/experiences, nor the tone of the book, until towards the end.

Other than that, this novel did a great job addressing some incredibly serious and intense YA topics with the sincerity and gravity they deserved, but with an understanding of the way they may be experienced differently for youth, as opposed to adults. Which, first off, let me say how frustrated (and by that, I mean truly *angry*) I was, reading about the ridiculous level of manipulation that Marisol (and Gabi) experienced at the hands of US officials. The way they made it seem like she had agency and was able to make a choice, whole in reality everyone knew there was no actual choice, had me hot. Especially because how is crossing the border underage (and knowing what happened to her brother!) not enough trauma to already have to disqualify Marisol from participating?! That aspect of manipulation continued as a theme throughout, even as we learn more about what Ray was told related to the experiment as well. I appreciated that examination of how easily, and in how many ways, this type of technology (even with best intentions) can be harmful and used inappropriately.

Obviously, based on the story itself, there was quite a bit of time devoted to exploring grief and trauma and the myriad ways people can experience and handle it. There were, on this note, quite a few really tough topics that were addressed throughout this novel including siblinghood and siblings as parents, coming of age and sexuality, homophobia (including both physically and psychologically violent ways), grief (and guilt over the lack of it), refugee/asylum seeking, and death (fairly traumatic, sibling deaths). While I felt that these were all addressed with accessibility for a YA audience, they were also addressed with straightforwardness and dimension, so please beware if any of this content could potentially be triggering for you to read. With all that in mind, the ending was perhaps a bit too “wrapped up in a bow,” emotionally, but it’s hard to not having been cheering for that kind of hopeful ending.

I loved the way that Marisol’s older sister perspective was written, as well as Gabi’s beginning-to-push-back younger sister characterization, that felt so accurate to me. And honestly the normality of that protectiveness/pushing boundaries that comes with youth and sibling interactions was a great “normal” background, bringing the more intense themes of loss and border-crossing and trauma into even sharper relief. I felt like the romance piece wasn’t super believable, not necessarily liked strained or trying too hard, but more like I never felt more than a friend vibe between Marisol and Ray. And really, I feel like their connection as friends could have played the same role in the story that the budding romance did. However, that being said, I did love the message that finding connection with others is critical for dealing with depression and grief. And I’m here for a sweet YA f/f love story situation.

This was a pretty fast read for me, interesting and well-paced. Although I feel like it was on the easier side for a YA read, writing-wise, the topics it addressed were clearly mature and handled well within the context of the story. Perhaps this isn’t a new all-time favorite read, but if it sounds at all like you’d be interested in it, I would definitely recommend picking it up.

“We believe in luck. The good kind and the cruel. The kind that graces and the kind that cripples. The kind that doesn’t care what you deserve.”

“People handle grief in different ways. It isn't the same for everyone. Some people can manage with help, and others lock themselves into grief. Still others become stronger by it. And it isn't only grief. It's trauma. [...] Victims of terrible assaults, soldiers who were damaged in body and in spirit. That's a kind of grief that is even more entrenched, when it is augmented by guilt and fear.”

“She’s been through the same thing that millions of other people have been through. What makes her pain more unbearable than anyone else’s?”

“But when you don’t have a good choice, you make a bad choice.”

“La Suerte isn’t only Mala. She is two-faced. How beautiful and balanced, how terrible and cruel La Suerte is.”

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oliverreeds's review

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emotional funny hopeful medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

i really enjoyed this book because the characters were very well-written; however, the plot seemed like a loose association to give the characters room instead of a fleshed out plot. the idea of being a "grief keeper" seemed important at the beginning but slowly lost it's importance. i thought that the story would be based around the main character taking more than one person's grief over the book, but she stayed with only one person which, to me, made the book feel incomplete. the addition of the flashbacks as well seemed inorganic. i don't know what they added to the main character, and i wanted to know more about gabi as well and how the past was affecting her. the climax of the book was also so close to the end and didn't leave time for proper emotional coping with the reality of the situation. however, i loved the characters so much! i feel like they operated like real people (even though i wish marisole had been more vocal to rey about things she was upset about) and i enjoyed the romance element that was added in. oh, and i also wish the side characters had been in more scenes. they were only in one, which i felt didn't make them important to the novel as a whole especially because they were such interesting characters.

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