Reviews with content warning for Emotional abuse - Die Verwandlung

Reviews tagging 'Emotional abuse'

Die Verwandlung by K.A. Applegate

1 review

ramiel's review against another edition

dark emotional hopeful reflective tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

I say this whenever I bring up this book but: as a child, I didn't read the Animorphs series in order. And The Change was actually the first Animorphs book I ever read - probably in June/July 2000, though I can't remember the exact year. My cousin had left it behind at our summer cottage, and despite thinking the cover art looked so weird, I had nothing else to read.

Anyway, then my life changed forever. Changed my rating to a 5 primarily for nostalgia reasons, but this is also just a really good book in the series.

"So you're the puppet master," I said. "I should have known. But this isn't how you looked the last time we saw you."
The bird shape smiled. Don't ask me how it smiled with a beak. It just did. I CHOSE A SHAPE YOU WOULD IDENTIFY WITH.
"Baloney. You know better than that. You know I'm human."
ARE YOU? YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE A HUMAN TO ME.

While flying with Rachel, Tobias spots two hork-bajir running away from the yeerks. They realize pretty quickly that these two hork-bajir have actually escaped the yeerk pool and are essentially now the only unenslaved hork-bajir in the universe. Tobias is then tasked (against his will) to protect these two hork-bajir and lead them to safety. Of course, the Ellimist is involved here and promises Tobias a "prize" of sorts if he manages to save the hork-bajir. Welcome back, space gamer god!

Also, Visser 3 apparently finds "being eaten alive" to be the most humiliating way for someone to die. I can't believe that didn't connect with me before based on his everything else about him.

Right away, my last two reviews decided on "breaking the laws of the universe we have established" as a theme for this set of books (we'll see how that goes stands the next two), and the rule broken here is going to be the "nothlit rule". Tobias's identity crisis is still going, and he's feeling that ache again to be human. Because of this, he thinks his "prize" from the Ellimist is getting to be human, and of course it's not. We'll get to that, though.

First, I feel like its implied that Tobias's "aches" sort of wax and wane - which makes sense, our first Tobias book does have him affirm both of his identities (human and hawk) but it's not going to just end there. For Tobias in this book it starts as something small - Rachel hasn't told him about a school award she's won because she doesn't want to make him feel bad he can't attend the event, which of course makes him remember once again that, because he isn't "fully human" anymore, his and Rachel's relationship can never advance beyond the longing they have for each other now. It, of course, later spirals into him being completely down on himself, believing he's essentially useless to everyone because he can't be included on missions either (even directly after LITERALLY JUST SAVING KET'S LIFE).

This book pushes Rachel/Tobias a lot, though, which I think has a lot to do with the "loss of childhood/innocence/normalcy" this series plays with. While the other kids crave their old childhoods and feel this loss while spending time with family, Tobias never had that in his life. From what it looks like, his crush and relationship with Rachel (which honestly feels like it started pre-series based on how close they already are in books 2 and 3) was probably the first "normal kid thing" Tobias had, which is why Rachel is often a major feature in Tobias's books. I especially like it in this book though as it's placed next to the hork-bajir couple we meet, Jara and Ket.

Jara and Ket were born into slavery, and it's likely that their relationship with each other - finally removed from the yeerks in their heads - was the first "normal" relationship either of them had as well. Jara and Ket show a great level of attachment and despair at the thought of losing each other, and Tobias shows a similar level of attachment towards Rachel.

The Hork-Bajir stared at Ax, then shifted his gaze to me. "Flying animal saw my kalashi. Jara Hamee must find her. Jara Hamee..." He struggled to come up with a word. Then he made a gesture with his hands, as if someone were tearing something out of him. As if someone were removing his heart.
There was no question what it meant. Even across the huge divide between our species, I could recognize that emotion.
<You love her,> I said.

and then, just a few pages later:

But my sense of humor was slightly damaged right then. Rachel was going to morph a Hork-Bajir. And then she was going to draw off the Yeerks. She was going to make them chase her.
It made me sick to think about it. It had been my idea. My brilliant idea. And she would take the risk.

I'm sure Tobias, at this point already feeling bad he sits missions out in general, would feel guilty no matter who ended up morphing Jara. But here, it has to be Rachel, because losing her would be more of a blow to him than anyone else (I have spoilers to back me up on that one). It would be "as if someone were removing his heart".

All this to say: usually, it's the idea of a life with Rachel that makes Tobias crave his humanity. However, he did affirm in the first book, and he does make it clear a few times in this one: he's not just human now, he's also a hawk. And so, the Ellimist's "prize" isn't a return of his humanity, but is instead the return of his morphing powers - with the added side bonus of having his human form as a morph (that he'd get stuck in if he stayed longer than 2 hours). I think it's interesting that Tobias wants to avoid Rachel directly after this, even knowing she'd let him vent and get angry at the Ellimist with him. It's partially coping, but I feel like it's also partially because, really, if Tobias had to choose with a clear mind, he probably would have taken the morphing all over again. (In fact he does, in his dream at the end.)

That's a lot about THAT ship. Moving on to Jara and Ket on their own. Jara and Ket's determination to be free and together is something that hooked me into this story as a child. When Jara is alone without Ket, he wastes absolutely no time trying to convince the kids to save his wife. He splits his own head open to prove there isn't a yeerk in his brain and barely even stops to humor Ax's andalite arrogance bullshit because he had more important things to worry about was something else.

(Which, oh, that hint - when Ax was getting angry at Jara claiming "the andalites tried to save the hork-bajir" and Jara just laughs at him. I don't know that anyone this far into the books realized yet just what the andalites ended up doing to the hork-bajir.)

I also loved the kids being faced with creatures they saw as enemies for so long and realizing, with horror, that they really are just as peaceful as they were told. This is the book where we first find out their terrifying blades? the things that made the yeerks so attracted to their bodies in the first place? are used to harvest tree bark. (The hork-bajir are truly treated like punching bags in this series by pretty much every race - even the kids kind of look down on them for "not being very bright" which can be sort of frustrating.)

"Hork-Bajir have no enemy. No prey. Hork-Bajir not kill. Yeerk kill. Yeerk kill Andalite. Andalite kill Yeerk. Hork-Bajir die."

However, Ket and Jara's determination to remain free together leads to one of the most memorable quotes in this series to me, which I feel honestly encompasses the story as a whole.

"Free or dead."

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