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4.16 AVERAGE
4.16 AVERAGE
Recommended reading for anyone in transracial or blended families, especially those where white people are caregivers. For me this had that memoir thing where there’s a handful more people to keep track of than the audiobook and my brain could appropriately track - and the clip of the book didn’t allow us to languish too long - but I’m grateful to be witness to this writing. Lots to take away here and ruminate on for white folks.
A beautiful clear memoire. Rebecca’s honest and well developed account of her coming to consciousness of her race, of her family’s racism, of herself and her possibilities and her desires is a must read.
When I read the synopsis and review online for this book, it did not contain a content or trigger warning.
CONTENT WARNING: contains descriptions of rape and sexual assaults of minors.
This was a very unique book, a life laid bare, of being a black child adopted by a white family, in a white town, and all the complexities of identity that developed through her very intricate, unique and complicated life. I was really moved and felt her strength, anger, confusion and passion.
CONTENT WARNING: contains descriptions of rape and sexual assaults of minors.
This was a very unique book, a life laid bare, of being a black child adopted by a white family, in a white town, and all the complexities of identity that developed through her very intricate, unique and complicated life. I was really moved and felt her strength, anger, confusion and passion.
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
3.5 stars
I read this for an anti-bias book club for work. Unfortunately, I expected a bit more out of it. I was so irritated at how Rebecca kept her birth mother in her life even though she was so toxic to her. Rebecca had enough respect for herself to not deal with an asshole boss yet she kept letting Tess bring her down her whole life. The book itself I found really choppy, not going into much detail on anything before jumping to the next thing.
I read this for an anti-bias book club for work. Unfortunately, I expected a bit more out of it. I was so irritated at how Rebecca kept her birth mother in her life even though she was so toxic to her. Rebecca had enough respect for herself to not deal with an asshole boss yet she kept letting Tess bring her down her whole life. The book itself I found really choppy, not going into much detail on anything before jumping to the next thing.
reflective
slow-paced
Great book. Provocative adoption story. Making me think about race and racism in my own childhood experiences.
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
Heard the author on a podcast, and she sounded so lighthearted and young (I was shocked to learn she was born in 1969), that this book came as a real surprise. Most of the relationships in this book were so detrimental that it was painful to read. I kept wanting her to dump the guys she was seeing, stop hanging out with her (white friends), stop talking to her birth mom (and honestly maybe her adoptive parents too).
Her birth mom "Tess" (real name Jan L Waldron) makes no sense to me- I just couldn't get a hold of what kind of person she is. She's jealous of an 11 year old kid whose skilled dancing attracts attention, chides this 11 year old for not knowing how to handle a grown man's sexual advances, identifies as a feminist and encourages her daughter to pursue college. She says overtly racist things about Black people while stating an interest in Black men and demonstrating an interest in Black culture and telling her (Black) child that they aren't really Black. What is going on? Her adoptive parents at least make sense in the context of their era- 70s swingers, naturalists (Malthusian) living off the land, hippies but patriarchy.
I felt that Carroll slightly glossed over her successes as an adult- to have published a book shortly after graduating college, to work for Charlie Rose (awful as it was), she has done unbelievably well for herself, especially considering her origins.
Her birth mom "Tess" (real name Jan L Waldron) makes no sense to me- I just couldn't get a hold of what kind of person she is. She's jealous of an 11 year old kid whose skilled dancing attracts attention, chides this 11 year old for not knowing how to handle a grown man's sexual advances, identifies as a feminist and encourages her daughter to pursue college. She says overtly racist things about Black people while stating an interest in Black men and demonstrating an interest in Black culture and telling her (Black) child that they aren't really Black. What is going on? Her adoptive parents at least make sense in the context of their era- 70s swingers, naturalists (Malthusian) living off the land, hippies but patriarchy.
I felt that Carroll slightly glossed over her successes as an adult- to have published a book shortly after graduating college, to work for Charlie Rose (awful as it was), she has done unbelievably well for herself, especially considering her origins.