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brimclala's review against another edition
emotional
informative
reflective
fast-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Racism and Rape
baileysir's review against another edition
challenging
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
I loved this book of essays! Gay’s writing style is casual and familiar yet thought-provoking and incisive. She provides an important perspective on race, gender, feminism, women’s rights, and more with this infinitely compelling and powerful collection of her essays.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Rape
Minor: Sexual assault and Pedophilia
arrowdodger's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
funny
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.0
Oh gosh. I had a weird experience with this one.
First of all, this is the first audiobook I've ever listened to. I listen to a lot of podcasts so I thought I'd give it a shot, but I don't think audio is my favorite medium for an actual book. The narrator was pretty good in general, but there were definitely a fair few mispronunciations, which were distracting. The pace of a book is also so much slower with someone else reading. I think overall I'm just a more visual learner and I'd rather keep experiencing books that way.
Now, onto this book itself. Some of the essays were more enjoyable to me than others, but I suppose that's to be expected of an essay collection. The ones speaking on rape culture in specific were honest and cutting, and I did enjoy those. The ones that were more about pop culture were fine, but left me wanting for something more. For example, Gay's takes on 50 Shades of Grey were nothing that I haven't heard a thousand times already. I thought she was going to approach it from an angle more personal to her, but she just said the same thing that everyone else has already said about that series.
The chapter on trigger warnings, though. Sigh. It made me have to take a break from listening. I found it so profoundly condescending, number one. Gay says multiple times that she herself doesn't really see the point in trigger warnings, and that she essentially thinks people who do are naïve. She says experiencing a trigger isn't as bad as actually living through the trauma, as if anyone was ever arguing to the contrary, and as if that makes being triggered not a big deal. She repeats some pretty disingenuous talking points about how trigger warnings are censorship. She makes a sweeping statement that nobody can be completely protected from triggering things, as if this makes trigger warnings completely pointless.
I just find this entire take so ridiculous. First of all, adding a trigger warning to the beginning of a piece of media is so incredibly easy and simple and requires almost no extra work. I find it so farcical when people act like it's the biggest inconvenience of their lives, or that it's akin to censorship. You can still write about whatever you want and nobody is saying not to (besides maybe teenagers on TikTok, but they'll grow up one day). Some people would just like a heads up if there is something potentially hard to grapple with in your work. She complains that there is no universal guide for trigger warnings, but I think most people know that big things like death, suicide, eating disorders, rape, etc. are easy to anticipate might trigger people. It's common sense. Just because you can't possibly anticipate everything that could trigger every person on earth doesn't mean you should throw the whole concept away. That's an argument a child would make.
Secondly, people who ask for trigger warnings (or content warnings in general) aren't little babies thinking they need protection from every experience in life, and it's dishonest to frame it that way. I know if I consume a piece of media with my particular trigger in it, I will just have a bad time consuming that media. Not only will I have anxiety and flashbacks and potentially become physically ill, it's just a waste of my time because I won't enjoy the thing I'm reading/watching. I would rather just read or watch something that doesn't have that thing in it. If I see my specific thing in a trigger/content warning it tells me that that piece of media isn't for me. It's really just that simple. I also just don't want to see my trigger enacted in media and I really don't think there's a purpose for me to. I don't want to subject myself to that in an attempt to seem "tough" like Gay seems to think of herself as doing. Subjecting myself to something that harms me emotionally that deeply isn't something I can just shrug off. I might even relapse into self-harm. I don't think that it would be someone else's "fault" if that happened, and I don't expect other people to cater to my personal traumas all of the time because that isn't possible, but I do think as people we can just generally take small and easy steps to help each other get through life easier. Trigger warnings are one of those steps.
So... yeah. I really hated that chapter.
Also, there's a bit toward the end where Gay mentions that her longtime on-again-off-again boyfriend is "politically conservative." Not to be THAT kind of feminist, but... ew. I do think it's weird to claim to be a feminist while fucking a man who votes against the best interests of women everywhere. I see this a lot and it makes me feel insane.
Overall I enjoyed Gay's perspectives on rape culture and I would be down to read her words on that topic more in the future. I have a couple of her other books lying around, because my job sometimes throws things into my lap, and I'll probably get around to reading them eventually. She's a good writer and has a great voice. In this collection she just fluctuates wildly between informative and powerful messages, takes that are so mild they make no impact at all, and takes that are, put simply, bad.
First of all, this is the first audiobook I've ever listened to. I listen to a lot of podcasts so I thought I'd give it a shot, but I don't think audio is my favorite medium for an actual book. The narrator was pretty good in general, but there were definitely a fair few mispronunciations, which were distracting. The pace of a book is also so much slower with someone else reading. I think overall I'm just a more visual learner and I'd rather keep experiencing books that way.
Now, onto this book itself. Some of the essays were more enjoyable to me than others, but I suppose that's to be expected of an essay collection. The ones speaking on rape culture in specific were honest and cutting, and I did enjoy those. The ones that were more about pop culture were fine, but left me wanting for something more. For example, Gay's takes on 50 Shades of Grey were nothing that I haven't heard a thousand times already. I thought she was going to approach it from an angle more personal to her, but she just said the same thing that everyone else has already said about that series.
The chapter on trigger warnings, though. Sigh. It made me have to take a break from listening. I found it so profoundly condescending, number one. Gay says multiple times that she herself doesn't really see the point in trigger warnings, and that she essentially thinks people who do are naïve. She says experiencing a trigger isn't as bad as actually living through the trauma, as if anyone was ever arguing to the contrary, and as if that makes being triggered not a big deal. She repeats some pretty disingenuous talking points about how trigger warnings are censorship. She makes a sweeping statement that nobody can be completely protected from triggering things, as if this makes trigger warnings completely pointless.
I just find this entire take so ridiculous. First of all, adding a trigger warning to the beginning of a piece of media is so incredibly easy and simple and requires almost no extra work. I find it so farcical when people act like it's the biggest inconvenience of their lives, or that it's akin to censorship. You can still write about whatever you want and nobody is saying not to (besides maybe teenagers on TikTok, but they'll grow up one day). Some people would just like a heads up if there is something potentially hard to grapple with in your work. She complains that there is no universal guide for trigger warnings, but I think most people know that big things like death, suicide, eating disorders, rape, etc. are easy to anticipate might trigger people. It's common sense. Just because you can't possibly anticipate everything that could trigger every person on earth doesn't mean you should throw the whole concept away. That's an argument a child would make.
Secondly, people who ask for trigger warnings (or content warnings in general) aren't little babies thinking they need protection from every experience in life, and it's dishonest to frame it that way. I know if I consume a piece of media with my particular trigger in it, I will just have a bad time consuming that media. Not only will I have anxiety and flashbacks and potentially become physically ill, it's just a waste of my time because I won't enjoy the thing I'm reading/watching. I would rather just read or watch something that doesn't have that thing in it. If I see my specific thing in a trigger/content warning it tells me that that piece of media isn't for me. It's really just that simple. I also just don't want to see my trigger enacted in media and I really don't think there's a purpose for me to. I don't want to subject myself to that in an attempt to seem "tough" like Gay seems to think of herself as doing. Subjecting myself to something that harms me emotionally that deeply isn't something I can just shrug off. I might even relapse into self-harm. I don't think that it would be someone else's "fault" if that happened, and I don't expect other people to cater to my personal traumas all of the time because that isn't possible, but I do think as people we can just generally take small and easy steps to help each other get through life easier. Trigger warnings are one of those steps.
So... yeah. I really hated that chapter.
Also, there's a bit toward the end where Gay mentions that her longtime on-again-off-again boyfriend is "politically conservative." Not to be THAT kind of feminist, but... ew. I do think it's weird to claim to be a feminist while fucking a man who votes against the best interests of women everywhere. I see this a lot and it makes me feel insane.
Overall I enjoyed Gay's perspectives on rape culture and I would be down to read her words on that topic more in the future. I have a couple of her other books lying around, because my job sometimes throws things into my lap, and I'll probably get around to reading them eventually. She's a good writer and has a great voice. In this collection she just fluctuates wildly between informative and powerful messages, takes that are so mild they make no impact at all, and takes that are, put simply, bad.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Rape
lubarbara's review against another edition
emotional
funny
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
3.0
La considero una lectura importante del feminismo, pero no así esencial. Si bien me dejó pensando en varias ocasiones mi rol como mujer y feminista, me fue difícil encontrarme o identificarme con varias de las dificultades planteadas por la autora ya que yo no soy ni negra ni estadounidense. Además, muchas referencias a la cultura pop no las entendí (creo que es muy específico de los 2010’s y se pierden bastantes cosas).
Sin embargo, hay experiencias universales que vivimos todas las mujeres y se encuentran muy bien retratadas. La invitación a cuestionarnos, pero a ser más pacientes y amorosas con nosotras mismas es muy clara y necesaria.
Sin embargo, hay experiencias universales que vivimos todas las mujeres y se encuentran muy bien retratadas. La invitación a cuestionarnos, pero a ser más pacientes y amorosas con nosotras mismas es muy clara y necesaria.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault, Rape, Misogyny, Sexism, Slavery, and Racial slurs
Moderate: Child death, Murder, and Hate crime
americattt's review against another edition
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.75
“We want, and rightfully so, to believe our lives deserve to be new, relatable, and important. We want to see more complex, nuanced depictions of what it really means to be whoever we are or were or hope to be. We just want so much. We just need so much.”
Content Warnings
Graphic: Rape, Abortion, and Sexual violence
ashbuggs's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
funny
reflective
medium-paced
4.25
Roxane Gay’s book of sharp, funny, and culturally relevant essays details and explores flaws and imperfections in many forms, and invites you into the inner workings of her mind. In turn, I began to to do the same to mine.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Rape and Sexual assault
Moderate: Sexism, Abortion, and Slavery
aniagajecka's review against another edition
emotional
funny
informative
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Racism, Sexual assault, and Rape
clairewithane's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
slow-paced
1.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Racial slurs, Rape, Homophobia, Racism, and Sexual assault
katie_reading's review against another edition
challenging
informative
lighthearted
reflective
slow-paced
3.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Police brutality and Rape
lhartjed's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
reflective
slow-paced
4.25
This is the second time I’ve picked up Gay’s book of essays, and I found it harder to get through the second time than the first. Honestly, this book was going to be my second DNF of the year, but I forced myself to get through it. In talking to friends about it, I’ve been told that Hunger, Gay’s collection of essays regarding weight, food and her body, is more compelling. Frankly Hunger sounds like it’s going to give me an anxiety attack, and it might, or it might heal wounds I’ve long carried. It’s on my list for 2023, so hopefully I’ll get to it.
But back to Bad Feminist. I love the idea of being a bad feminist, because after all, aren’t we all? I’m a bad feminist. I’m a bad scholar. I’m a bad writer. I’m bad at a lot of things that I want to be good at. What Gay taps into beautifully is how most of us are all bad yet still trying. We try to make up for the areas we lack, we try to create some semblance of balance for the world we live in and the way we live. What I’m sure many people who are fans of this book love, and what I appreciate, is mix of self deprecation and forgiving way Gay looks at herself, her likes and dislikes, her judgments and failings.
We all might be a little bad - but at least we’re trying? I love how this collection has no answers. It doesn’t solve anything, it doesn’t come to a conclusion. There’s no neat bow to tie around it. We are who we are, bad feminists and all.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Rape and Sexual assault