Reviews tagging 'Panic attacks/disorders'

Deep End by Ali Hazelwood

79 reviews

emotional funny hopeful inspiring reflective sad tense medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: Complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Potentially my favourite Ali Hazelwood book of all time. Lukas is absolutely everything - the pure adoration of such a stoic man kills me. Scarlett was relatable and weird and nervous and cute (occasionally a coward but it worked for the plot). Some good twists and loved the diving / swimming setting and the high stakes. The Adam & Olive cameos were super cute and I just fell completely in love with this story. 

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emotional funny medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Complicated
Loveable characters: Complicated
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

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emotional funny informative inspiring reflective medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: A mix
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: Complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus: Complicated

Hazelwood did it again! She completely stole my attention from every single thing except for her novel, once again. I devoured this in two days. I could barely get anything done from the time I started till the time I was finished.

Truthfully, I did not have super high expectations (a crime, because I’ve very rarely been less than blown away by Ali Hazelwood)—her last novel, Not in Love, had me feeling like her novels tended to follow a formula, her heroines and MMCs often having similar paths. However, I clearly did not consider how much fun Hazelwood’s take on a college romance—a sports AND college romance—would be. While her previous novels (other than Check & Mate, I would argue, because it’s technically YA fiction), have been leaning toward darker, more moody atmospheres as of late, Deep End allows for Hazelwood’s comedy to shine. The novel is not without hard topics, of course—Scarlett’s family history, her struggles with anxiety, the exploration of sexual empowerment, and Lukas’ own past struggles are very real and written with sincerity and brevity. That being said, the college setting and the younger characters lended itself to a more playful and slightly more lighthearted telling. 

One of my favorite things about Hazelwood’s work is that I always come away having learned something new (in addition to having my breath stolen away by romantic tension and MMCs that are chronically, debilitatingly down bad). I can tell her research is thorough and extensive—be it the different approaches to opening moves in chess or which part of the brain retain Britney Spears lyrics. Her writing feels confident on the chosen subject, making me feel like I’m being delightfully tricked into learning about something that was previously boring to me by a super cool professor. She achieves this again with the sport of diving (a very separate sport from just swimming, I now know). The physics, structure, and brutal dedication that the sport demands is beautifully romanticized through Hazelwood’s eyes. The unforgiving surface of water from a fall of ten meters in the air, as well as the rigors of plowing a human body through its density during a freestyle race, is a reflection of a student athlete’s life. As a NARP myself, I gained a better understanding of the perils of college sports, but could also easily empathize with the general feelings that the college years bring upon young adults: the busy schedules, the nerves associated with meeting new people, the constant worry in the back of your head that you’re failing at something but maybe don’t even know it yet. 

These common struggles, along with the fact that Scarlett is still mentally recovering from an injury that completely derailed her diving career and has left her on uneven ground in the world that used to be second nature to her, burden her with anxiety that she longs to escape, if only for a moment. Lukas, the ex-boyfriend of her team captain, also Swedish swimming legend and indomitable figure of few words and hard facts, is able to facilitate that escape once they learn that they share a common interest in kink. They find solace in each other as they explore this interest together, the trust that Lukas easily earns from Scarlett helping her learn to trust herself once again. 

I really appreciated Hazelwood’s take on BDSM, not getting quite as adventurous as I thought she might (ie, no flogging, ball gags, or even any other instruments that I braced myself for). Instead, Hazelwood focuses on the psychological aspects of kink, of the freedom that the experience provides for its practitioners. “For once, I just want to be in my body, and not in my head.” By letting Lukas take control, Scarlett is finally able to free herself of her own expectations and the stress that she’s always beholden to.

This novel was delicious and tender and even hilarious at times. I’d like more Hazelwood college/sports romances immediately, please. 

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emotional funny hopeful inspiring medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

I really loved this book. Ali once again killed it. Scarlett was a really relatable character for me. I love the way Ali is able to capture the impact anxiety can have on our lives. I loved getting to see Scarlett grow, learn to trust herself and others, and heal from her past traumas. Lukas was an absolute delight. Their romance bloomed beautifully as they explored their sexual interests, love of science, and love of water together. I thought Ali did a brilliant job capturing the emotional intimacy and trust in each of their sexual encounters.

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emotional informative lighthearted medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Complicated
Loveable characters: Complicated
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Scarlett "Vandy" Vandermere and Lukas Blomqvist are both competitive college level athletes. Scarlett is a diver recovering from an horrific injury that almost ended her career and Lukas is a child prodigy Olympic swimmer who is focussed on all things control, be it in the pool or the bedroom. When Luk and his girlfriend Pen break up due to his wish to be more dominant in the bedroom, she confides in her diving team mate Vandy, who as luck would have it is a willing submissive. 

Now I love Ali Hazelwood's books, having read almost all of them now, and as always there was a nice throw back to an earlier one as The Deep End features both Olive and Adam from the Love Hypothesis. But this one just didn't do it for me! There was all the talk of BDSM and then barely anything more than a few slightly spicier than usual sex scenes. Which would be fine if the characters really had that much chemistry.  They jump from barely knowing each other to sleeping together, and yes they then start to chat more but they're so frequently in different parts of the world that the story is mainly made up of Scarlett trying to overcome the mental block of her injury and the two characters having fairly vanilla sex.  

I didn't hate the story, the way that Lukas is dominant without verging on mentally damaging is well done, and there's clearly some research gone into how divers both train and recover from injury. It was just a bit flat for me. I either wanted a more epic love story that then turned into a kinky one, or full on smut that had less talk and more action, this was neither. And I really missed the STEM elements which this started to go towards and then took a sharp turn away from never to be mentioned again! 

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emotional funny hopeful inspiring lighthearted reflective relaxing medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

I don’t think I’m capable of not loving a book by Ali Hazelwood! I read this in a day, I just couldn’t put it down!! I LOOOOVEEEE Lukas & Scarlett! They are just so perfect for each other!
And despite the drama with Pen getting in their way, they found a way to rise above it! Like Pen was sus, & I never trusted the way she didn’t want to tell anyone they broke up, like she had a right to change her mind & hold on to him even though she broke up with him. But Scarlett & Lukas didn’t let that get in their way!
& They are just meant to be!! 

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adventurous challenging emotional funny hopeful lighthearted medium-paced

This one was a fun one and oh so spicy!  A competitive swimmer and competitive diver end up starting a friends with benefits situation.  But of course it doesn't stay just friends.  Both have had a tough childhood and connect with each other because of that.  There were serious moments but lots of fun ones too.  Make sure to read the author's note at the beginning for trigger warnings as she outlines exactly what you're in for because this one was definitely spicy!.  Probably my favourite Ali Hazelwood book so far!

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fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Complicated

This book fcks. In more ways than one. This is tied (possibly usurped) with Bride as my favorite Ali Hazelwood. Only Ali could make me *not* want a dual POV because I'm scared of how obsessed Lukas's inner monologue would've been I probably wouldn't have made it. This book had me giggling and kicking my feet on the highway. 

thanks Libro.fm and Berkley for my advanced listening copy

Expand filter menu Content Warnings
adventurous emotional medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

I genuinely adored this book. I couldn’t put it down. I was drawn by the exploration of kink, but what really got me hooked were the emotional beats and the sports element. Might just be Ali Hazelwood’s best work. 

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