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didiluvvz's review against another edition
adventurous
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
tense
5.0
Recommended by Xtine
dda9's review against another edition
4.0
I had a hard time deciding whether to rate this book three or four stars. I don't give out four stars easily, so there has to be something special about a book to get four stars. This book has a lot to recommend it, but also a couple of major downpoints that caused my hesitation.
The main premise of the book is that our fear is a gift rather than a curse. It is a survival mechanism that is intimately linked to our mind's power of intuition, which de Becker describes as a subconscious evaluation of your surroundings, experience, and other "signals." Your mind notices people, smells, cars, animals, weather, and countless other details that our brains filter out as unimportant. However, these details are still noticed and recorded and can be drawn upon to evaluate new information. Our minds will often link these details with new relevant information to assess the possibility of danger. When danger is present, our intuition lets us know through feelings of suspicion, unease, nervousness, or outright fear, depending on the level of danger. Much of de Becker's book is dedicated to convincing the reader to trust and listen to this intuition. In addition to this central theme, "The Gift of Fear" explore the predictability of violence, and unique aspects domestic violence, stalking, mass shootings (or stabbings, etc.), and workplace violence.
De Becker brings to his book his own experience with violence and an obvious desire to help other people avoid it, and this sincerity comes through in his writing. He has numerous anecdotes for every point he brings up that help to illustrate his ideas and solutions, and to keep the book on a very human level. The book also discusses some very disturbing topics without being overly morbid, depressing, and frightening. (I think a major reason this book is not more frightening is his focus on solutions.)
Safety and managing our fears is one of those topics that, in my opinion, everyone should read at least one book about. I definitely want my children to read this or a similar book when they are ready.
I have two major gripes with this book. First, one of the most critical aspects of fear is to be able to recognize it and distinguish it from its impostors, self-made worry and anxiety. I feel like I would recognize a imminent-danger kind of fear signal, but if you asked me if the thing you were worrying about was an intuitive warning or just manufactured anxiety, I couldn't tell you. He discusses this, but I don't feel like it received enough attention and I would probably want to go back and reread these sections before feeling confident in my ability to distinguish.
My second gripe is how he writes about the role guns play in violence in America. He makes an assertion that is, from what I have read, bogus. He doesn't provide any sources or evidence for his claim. He also has an appendix devoted to his idea of how to deal with guns in what he hopes is a politically neutral way. Political neutrality on guns is an impossible task I fear, and unfortunately, his proposal would be useless. No matter what your stance is, I would have expected more from somebody who has spent his life studying violence and combat. When an author does something like that, it makes the reader start to doubt the rest of the information being presented. Lest this criticism seem to severe, this was the only time that I noticed this kind of thing, and the rest of the time his claims seemed reasonable and well though out.
Despite these problems, I still gave "The Gift of Fear" 4 stars, so obviously, I would still recommend it to anyone who is concerned about the topic.
One word of caution - the subject material (rape, sexual abuse, serial killings, etc.) is often not child appropriate and there are a few stories that I would especially not want want my children to read.
The main premise of the book is that our fear is a gift rather than a curse. It is a survival mechanism that is intimately linked to our mind's power of intuition, which de Becker describes as a subconscious evaluation of your surroundings, experience, and other "signals." Your mind notices people, smells, cars, animals, weather, and countless other details that our brains filter out as unimportant. However, these details are still noticed and recorded and can be drawn upon to evaluate new information. Our minds will often link these details with new relevant information to assess the possibility of danger. When danger is present, our intuition lets us know through feelings of suspicion, unease, nervousness, or outright fear, depending on the level of danger. Much of de Becker's book is dedicated to convincing the reader to trust and listen to this intuition. In addition to this central theme, "The Gift of Fear" explore the predictability of violence, and unique aspects domestic violence, stalking, mass shootings (or stabbings, etc.), and workplace violence.
De Becker brings to his book his own experience with violence and an obvious desire to help other people avoid it, and this sincerity comes through in his writing. He has numerous anecdotes for every point he brings up that help to illustrate his ideas and solutions, and to keep the book on a very human level. The book also discusses some very disturbing topics without being overly morbid, depressing, and frightening. (I think a major reason this book is not more frightening is his focus on solutions.)
Safety and managing our fears is one of those topics that, in my opinion, everyone should read at least one book about. I definitely want my children to read this or a similar book when they are ready.
I have two major gripes with this book. First, one of the most critical aspects of fear is to be able to recognize it and distinguish it from its impostors, self-made worry and anxiety. I feel like I would recognize a imminent-danger kind of fear signal, but if you asked me if the thing you were worrying about was an intuitive warning or just manufactured anxiety, I couldn't tell you. He discusses this, but I don't feel like it received enough attention and I would probably want to go back and reread these sections before feeling confident in my ability to distinguish.
My second gripe is how he writes about the role guns play in violence in America. He makes an assertion that is, from what I have read, bogus. He doesn't provide any sources or evidence for his claim. He also has an appendix devoted to his idea of how to deal with guns in what he hopes is a politically neutral way. Political neutrality on guns is an impossible task I fear, and unfortunately, his proposal would be useless. No matter what your stance is, I would have expected more from somebody who has spent his life studying violence and combat. When an author does something like that, it makes the reader start to doubt the rest of the information being presented. Lest this criticism seem to severe, this was the only time that I noticed this kind of thing, and the rest of the time his claims seemed reasonable and well though out.
Despite these problems, I still gave "The Gift of Fear" 4 stars, so obviously, I would still recommend it to anyone who is concerned about the topic.
One word of caution - the subject material (rape, sexual abuse, serial killings, etc.) is often not child appropriate and there are a few stories that I would especially not want want my children to read.
eamcmahon3's review against another edition
5.0
One of my favorites. A quick read with critical information. Worth a re-read.
pansy_ass's review against another edition
4.0
I did really appreciate his writing style; it was fluid and had moments of intended comicality. His advice was for the most part appreciated and worthy of listening to (though I feel as though sometimes he forgets that individuals who suffer from anxiety disorders cannot just “choose” not to worry—this was perhaps my primary objection of the book’s content). He also had some very entertaining anecdotes and some pretty impressive credentials. Definitely worth the read, in my opinion.
youngthespian42's review against another edition
4.0
This book challenges a lot of the conventional wisdom around safety and violence in your life. A call to becoming self reliant on your own defense without just advocating everyone should have a gun. The book was written in the 90s so some language around gender does not age great. The information outweighs the harm for me.
indigolenom's review against another edition
2.0
pues está padre pero fue innecesariamente largo y medio aburrido jaja todo se repetía y algunos ejemplos me parecían medio contradictorios
literalmente libros que pudieron haber sido un TikTok o algo así. no lo valió
literalmente libros que pudieron haber sido un TikTok o algo así. no lo valió