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4.25 AVERAGE
4.25 AVERAGE
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
medium-paced
This is an extremely readable and interesting story covering reflections on masculinity, gender, trauma, and healing as the author prepares for a charity boxing match. It's a little repetitive in places and the author is clearly still processing his experiences but it's definitely well worth the read.
'Regardless of his posturing, what makes a villain a villain is that he is the hero of his own story. My interest in Tyson stemmed from his compulsive earnestness. He was a veritable scholar on toxic masculinity, and he was right: a winner does indeed need a loser, and violence, from war to racism to rape, requires a story about why the enemy deserves to be overpowered.'
'Regardless of his posturing, what makes a villain a villain is that he is the hero of his own story. My interest in Tyson stemmed from his compulsive earnestness. He was a veritable scholar on toxic masculinity, and he was right: a winner does indeed need a loser, and violence, from war to racism to rape, requires a story about why the enemy deserves to be overpowered.'
✍️ Beautifully written. I was skeptical about the book before reading, as I had zero interest in boxing. Then I found myself captivated by the author's alluring narrative. He skillfully weaves his journey into the world of boxing with insightful discussions on masculinity (and testosterone), supported by scholarly research. The story also covers his exploration of grief. His writing demystifies boxing, which I previously saw as a violent and domineering sport:
p183 Boxing breaks many of the binaries that men are conditioned to believe about our bodies, our genders, ourselves. With its cover of "realness" and violence, it provides room for what so many men lack: tenderness, and touch, and vulnerability. The narratives we see about boxing matches always start at the ending: two guys in the ring, squaring off. The violence obscures the deeper story, the one about the fighters who see your biggest weakness and teach you how to turn it into an advantage. In gyms all over the world, men are sharing their worst fears, men are asking for help, men are sparring one another with great care.
p183 Boxing breaks many of the binaries that men are conditioned to believe about our bodies, our genders, ourselves. With its cover of "realness" and violence, it provides room for what so many men lack: tenderness, and touch, and vulnerability. The narratives we see about boxing matches always start at the ending: two guys in the ring, squaring off. The violence obscures the deeper story, the one about the fighters who see your biggest weakness and teach you how to turn it into an advantage. In gyms all over the world, men are sharing their worst fears, men are asking for help, men are sparring one another with great care.
‘Maybe, instead of looking for the men you want to be, you need to face your worst fears about who you are’
Once again, McBee used his poetic and reflective writing style to find ways to surface thoughts, experiences, flaws, strengths and feelings that I never knew I had within me.
Just listening to Thomas’s voice in my head made me want to pick up gloves in a sweaty New York gym and undergo such an evolution.
To use the word again also, there’s something so profound about his honesty, and they way he doesn’t hold back on himself either - he awards himself credit where it’s due as he grows along the journey he takes in his mind through out the build up to the fight, but he remains able to be critical of his flaws and choices in the most productive and reflective way possible.
I feel like I learnt a lot about myself in this book, it acted as a mirror for a journey I’d been almost subconsciously taking already with my own gender, about reckoning with the fact that I am in fact a man and how to deal with the evolving guilt of truly realising and accepting that - ‘Being a man unwilling to face the worst parts of masculinity guaranteed that I was part of the problem.’
I particularly enjoyed the imagery of this romance and dance with masculinity, with this element of self, and navigating becoming united with it.
What can I say more - read this yourself and understand the true reckoning it takes you along on!
‘You have a golden core… and nobody can touch it.’
Once again, McBee used his poetic and reflective writing style to find ways to surface thoughts, experiences, flaws, strengths and feelings that I never knew I had within me.
Just listening to Thomas’s voice in my head made me want to pick up gloves in a sweaty New York gym and undergo such an evolution.
To use the word again also, there’s something so profound about his honesty, and they way he doesn’t hold back on himself either - he awards himself credit where it’s due as he grows along the journey he takes in his mind through out the build up to the fight, but he remains able to be critical of his flaws and choices in the most productive and reflective way possible.
I feel like I learnt a lot about myself in this book, it acted as a mirror for a journey I’d been almost subconsciously taking already with my own gender, about reckoning with the fact that I am in fact a man and how to deal with the evolving guilt of truly realising and accepting that - ‘Being a man unwilling to face the worst parts of masculinity guaranteed that I was part of the problem.’
I particularly enjoyed the imagery of this romance and dance with masculinity, with this element of self, and navigating becoming united with it.
What can I say more - read this yourself and understand the true reckoning it takes you along on!
‘You have a golden core… and nobody can touch it.’
Despite not being very interested in boxing, I really enjoyed Thomas Page McBee's Amateur: A True Story About What Makes A Man. Amateur follows McBee as he trains for a charity boxing match from scratch while exploring his fears about masculinity and violence from his position as a trans man and a child sexual abuse survivor.
The boxing training allows McBee to relate to men in a homosocial environment that combines intense violence with affection, caring touch and emotional support, as he tries to understand his own relationship with violence and other men's. He also speaks to academics who study masculinity, and I was really intrigued by a piece of research that showed that Danish men understand 'man' to mean 'not a boy', while American men understood 'man' to mean 'not a woman' so were compelled to be actively opposed to anything they see as feminine (although apparently Denmark is also a very misogynist country, so maybe this isn't the easy answer it seems).
Amateur is an honest and vulnerable account of one man's attempts to figure out what it means to be a man, and while I'd like to have read more about how race, class and sexuality intersect with masculinity, the book's memoir form doesn't really allow for that. Having studied masculinity academically and worked with its worst effects therapeutically I'm not sure Amateur taught be anything new but I was glad to read it nonetheless and plan to read McBee's previous book Man Alive.
The boxing training allows McBee to relate to men in a homosocial environment that combines intense violence with affection, caring touch and emotional support, as he tries to understand his own relationship with violence and other men's. He also speaks to academics who study masculinity, and I was really intrigued by a piece of research that showed that Danish men understand 'man' to mean 'not a boy', while American men understood 'man' to mean 'not a woman' so were compelled to be actively opposed to anything they see as feminine (although apparently Denmark is also a very misogynist country, so maybe this isn't the easy answer it seems).
Amateur is an honest and vulnerable account of one man's attempts to figure out what it means to be a man, and while I'd like to have read more about how race, class and sexuality intersect with masculinity, the book's memoir form doesn't really allow for that. Having studied masculinity academically and worked with its worst effects therapeutically I'm not sure Amateur taught be anything new but I was glad to read it nonetheless and plan to read McBee's previous book Man Alive.
Would it be weird to give a copy of this book to every man I know? Thomas Page McBee’s perspective, his thinking, and his story are so interesting. This book could have used tighter editing, but it’s absolutely worth reading, despite its occasional repetition and structural flaws.
Listened to this as an audiobook read by the author. Beautifully written and very poetic story of the author’s journey training to take part in a charity boxing match in Madison Square Gardens as a trans man. Many thoughts about what it means to be a man and what’s wrong with a lot of images of masculinity. Would recommend to everyone.
emotional
funny
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
Funny and self-reflexive exploration of modern masculinity. Wish more cis dudes would give this one a read.
emotional
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
An interesting exploration of masculinity, what it means to be a man, and the responsibility that brings.
It took me a bit of time to get into the shifting themes and narratives of Amateur but once I'd got used to it I was hooked on the boxing storyline, and couldn't wait to find out what happened. It also looks at a wide range of topics, with a lot of academic perspectives throughout.
Some great characters (albeit real people) - Danny was my favourite. Glad I was recommended this book!
It took me a bit of time to get into the shifting themes and narratives of Amateur but once I'd got used to it I was hooked on the boxing storyline, and couldn't wait to find out what happened. It also looks at a wide range of topics, with a lot of academic perspectives throughout.
Some great characters (albeit real people) - Danny was my favourite. Glad I was recommended this book!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Violence
Moderate: Child abuse, Sexual assault
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced