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lanid's review
dark
emotional
inspiring
Content Warnings
Moderate: Hate crime, Physical abuse, Alcoholism, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Child abuse, Death, Domestic abuse, Bullying, Child death, Pedophilia, Homophobia, Lesbophobia, Racism, and Rape
Minor: Misogyny, Suicidal thoughts, Drug use, Bullying, Fire/Fire injury, Violence, and Toxic relationship
lydiabeingalive's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
4.75
sunnie's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
medium-paced
liralen's review against another edition
4.0
I had never experienced romantic feelings or sexual desire for a man. At best, I felt sexually indifferent toward men, and, at worst, sickened by the idea of sex with them. The possibility of finding a female partner and experiencing happiness in a lesbian relationship was not something I even imagined at the time. In Thunder Bay in the late 1970s, there was no visible lesbian or gay community. I believed my crushes and attractions for women were my own unique, strange burden to bear. I had learned to suppress those feelings long ago. (120)
Different images come to my mind when I remember my experience of coming out. Some days I felt like I was unzipping a layer of unwanted skin, and shedding it from my body like a snake, so I could move freely for the first time. Other days I felt as if I was coming out of a dark prison cell into sunlight. And then there were days I saw myself as a piece of a jigsaw puzzle that, until then, had been forced into the wrong spaces, even into the wrong puzzle. But at last I had found the right puzzle, and I fit very well. (142)
It took me a while to get into this, because the telling is a little dry—one event after another, not a lot by way of full scenes or detailed descriptions.
But.
The farther I read, the more sense it made. There is so much here. She's lived more life than many, and there's a lot of hard material in here. To tell it all in full would take hundreds more pages. This isn't a memoir that builds those individual pictures, but what it does do is tell one hell of a story of a woman who fought and fought to build herself a life that was right for herself and to help others. Again: there is so much in here, good and bad. Being First Nations and growing up with a grandmother and seeing violence and alcoholism in the community. Being married off young. Abuse. Children and hard births (think spending hours on a sled to get to hospital) and loss. More abuse. More loss. Alcoholism and poverty and friendship and fostering and getting back on her feet. Coming out in a community that did not understand lesbianism. Violence. Vision loss. Finding ways to put those puzzle pieces together.
As a book, it's not amazing, but as a story, it's worth a read. It's a lot, but an important lot.
Different images come to my mind when I remember my experience of coming out. Some days I felt like I was unzipping a layer of unwanted skin, and shedding it from my body like a snake, so I could move freely for the first time. Other days I felt as if I was coming out of a dark prison cell into sunlight. And then there were days I saw myself as a piece of a jigsaw puzzle that, until then, had been forced into the wrong spaces, even into the wrong puzzle. But at last I had found the right puzzle, and I fit very well. (142)
It took me a while to get into this, because the telling is a little dry—one event after another, not a lot by way of full scenes or detailed descriptions.
But.
The farther I read, the more sense it made. There is so much here. She's lived more life than many, and there's a lot of hard material in here. To tell it all in full would take hundreds more pages. This isn't a memoir that builds those individual pictures, but what it does do is tell one hell of a story of a woman who fought and fought to build herself a life that was right for herself and to help others. Again: there is so much in here, good and bad. Being First Nations and growing up with a grandmother and seeing violence and alcoholism in the community. Being married off young. Abuse. Children and hard births (think spending hours on a sled to get to hospital) and loss. More abuse. More loss. Alcoholism and poverty and friendship and fostering and getting back on her feet. Coming out in a community that did not understand lesbianism. Violence. Vision loss. Finding ways to put those puzzle pieces together.
As a book, it's not amazing, but as a story, it's worth a read. It's a lot, but an important lot.
krissyronan's review against another edition
4.0
A fascinating memoir. Chacaby’s life story is unlike any I’ve read before. Recommended for teens and adults.
Thank you to the University of Manitoba Press and Libro.fm for the audio copy.
Thank you to the University of Manitoba Press and Libro.fm for the audio copy.
pidgepodge's review against another edition
Very interesting but a lot of triggering content
nodogsonthemoon's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.75
Content Warnings
Moderate: Pedophilia, Death of parent, Domestic abuse, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexual harassment, Torture, Violence, Sexual violence, Alcoholism, Drug abuse, Addiction, Death, Drug use, Fire/Fire injury, Grief, Alcohol, Child abuse, Child death, Chronic illness, Homophobia, Lesbophobia, and Sexual assault
mielenmaisemia's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
slow-paced
5.0
sarmcp's review against another edition
5.0
Honest, clear, and open; this book is vital to understanding the complexities faced by Indigenous people in this country. Chi-miigwech Ma-Nee, for having the courage to share your story so openly, and for all the work you continue to do in Thunder Bay. I can’t imagine what my life would be like as a 2S Indigenous youth in Thunder Bay without your courage and your openness.
arrr's review against another edition
5.0
This book was so good. Beautiful. Really hard at times and also uplifting and relatable. Highly suggest reading this book.