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3.69 AVERAGE
3.69 AVERAGE
For some reason, I thought this would be more about a child/children of hoarders and the amount of things left behind. Although the author's mother had hoarding tendencies, especially after the death of her husband, the house wasn't as awful as some.
Is there value to things? Is it tied to their physical nature or do they just have an intangible value associated with them. I don't know if I got a clear answer from this book, but it was a nice little memoir and something that most people will have to reckon with at some point.
3.5 Stars
My own feelings aside: (I would not have been able to tolerate being raised by Anne, the mother-hoarder, and I would have probably had that house clean in two weeks due to my lack of nostalgia)
this memoir definitely captures the "I hardly knew ye" feeling that we will all inevitably experience when we lose our parents.
They Left Us Everything certainly does its job: turning the narrative self-reflective lens 180-degrees, prompting the reader to connect with their own parents through the tchotchkes that littered their old stomping grounds (before it is too late and they become story-less shells)
My own feelings aside: (I would not have been able to tolerate being raised by Anne, the mother-hoarder, and I would have probably had that house clean in two weeks due to my lack of nostalgia)
this memoir definitely captures the "I hardly knew ye" feeling that we will all inevitably experience when we lose our parents.
They Left Us Everything certainly does its job: turning the narrative self-reflective lens 180-degrees, prompting the reader to connect with their own parents through the tchotchkes that littered their old stomping grounds (before it is too late and they become story-less shells)
reflective
slow-paced
Since I have parents who have lived in the same house for 56 years and counting, I figured Plum Johnson's memoir might have some helpful tips. I didn't really find any helpful tips for my future but I did enjoy her story. After both parents died in their 90s, Plum moved into their house, temporarily, to go through, catalog and dispose of the contents. In the process, she got to know her parents much better and she had time to grieve their loss. I read the ARC for this book to be published in July.
I received this book as a Mother's Day gift from my children 3 months after my mother had died (leaving me an orphan at age 61). While my family did not have the history that Plum's did, I could relate to the experiences she and her siblings had dealing with aging parents and their possessions. I would recommend it to anyone who has been through the experience. I'm not sure how you would interpret it if you didn't have that experience.
In this moving book, we are greeted with the concept that what happens to the memories that we have created after we are no longer here. This book is one that helps us to understand the importance of things we hold on to and how we can share those memories with others. I enjoyed the story and feel like going through someone else's life after they pass away is not an easy task. An honest book with alot of heart felt emotion.
An okay read with a strong trigger warning for dog/pet/animal lovers.*
There were a few times I could relate to the author's story of clearing a stuffed-to-the-gills house after her mother died, although mostly her experience was vastly different from mine. She was lucky enough to have the resources to spend a significant amount of time (over a year) to sort through everything and was, at times, uncovering fascinating documentation of her parents' lives. She shared details of both daily life from her parents' passive-aggressive marriage and her own and her siblings' upbringing as well as stories of her parents' involvement in historical events, some of significance enough to have been written about in books by other authors.
As other reviews have noted, her mother seemed very self-involved, possibly narcissistic, and her father came across as abusive at times. The author doesn't offer as much in the way of introspection on these traits as I would have expected, although they are obvious to the reader. I would have expected at least some degree of anger when reminiscing about certain things.
One thing that I couldn't relate to, and this is just a personality difference between me and the author, is that she often writes about reading emotional signs into things, a sunrise means something, the house is speaking to her, etc. I'm not one to see omens everywhere in my surroundings, and I eventually got annoyed by how often the author read significance into things.
I enjoyed the book enough to finish it but hope future readers are aware that they may be angered by some of what they read, more so than comes across in the writing itself.
* Trigger warning for dog/pet/animal lovers. I've detailed the scenes below but hidden them as spoilers so those who choose to can easily avoid them. I couldn't write this review without venting my anger.
There were a few times I could relate to the author's story of clearing a stuffed-to-the-gills house after her mother died, although mostly her experience was vastly different from mine. She was lucky enough to have the resources to spend a significant amount of time (over a year) to sort through everything and was, at times, uncovering fascinating documentation of her parents' lives. She shared details of both daily life from her parents' passive-aggressive marriage and her own and her siblings' upbringing as well as stories of her parents' involvement in historical events, some of significance enough to have been written about in books by other authors.
As other reviews have noted, her mother seemed very self-involved, possibly narcissistic, and her father came across as abusive at times. The author doesn't offer as much in the way of introspection on these traits as I would have expected, although they are obvious to the reader. I would have expected at least some degree of anger when reminiscing about certain things.
One thing that I couldn't relate to, and this is just a personality difference between me and the author, is that she often writes about reading emotional signs into things, a sunrise means something, the house is speaking to her, etc. I'm not one to see omens everywhere in my surroundings, and I eventually got annoyed by how often the author read significance into things.
I enjoyed the book enough to finish it but hope future readers are aware that they may be angered by some of what they read, more so than comes across in the writing itself.
* Trigger warning for dog/pet/animal lovers. I've detailed the scenes below but hidden them as spoilers so those who choose to can easily avoid them. I couldn't write this review without venting my anger.
Spoiler
There are a couple of instances where the treatment of family dogs may upset readers. They definitely upset me, the second one bringing me to angry tears as I relayed this part of the book to my husband. First, there is a description of the author's father tying the family dog's leash to the outside car door handle and driving home with the dog having to run along outside. That's very disturbing. Second, once the author's mother is dead, as she starts clearing out the house, she is left caring for her mother's elderly dog. Eventually noticing that the dog is listless, she takes it to the vet. On examination, the vet shows her "an infection in [the dog's] jaw that extends up into his eyes." Per the author's description, "The jawbone is exposed in an oozing yellow mass..." Discussing this with her friend in the waiting room, it's clear that the author's mother was neglecting this condition. "...'the vet showed me the notes. For the past five years she'd been recommending an operation and Mum always refused!' 'What?' 'I know...but it was going to cost thousands and Mum said it was too expensive.'" With the vet recommending euthanization, the author then waited two weeks, carrying on discussions with her siblings on the matter. I find both the mother's and the author's behavior unconscionable. The mother was not impoverished. She was living in a house that had been bought for thousands in the 1950s (around $10,000, I don't remember exactly) and was now worth over $2,000,000. She had a live-in couple caring for her. She had antiques of value. Get the money together and treat the goddamn dog or have it kindly put down! Don't let it suffer for years because you're cheap! And for the author to dither for two weeks, having trouble making the decision!?! For fuck's sake, lady, it's not even your dog. You're not that emotionally attached to it. You let the animal suffer for an extra two weeks because you associated it with your mother. Yeah, there were some angry tears when sharing that part of the book with my husband. I had to take a break after reading that and almost gave up on the book.
The book is about family, grief and self awareness. The first parts are humourous with descriptions of chaos and disorder mixed with adventures of family. As the book progresses, it becomes more about dealing with undercurrent emotions, grief, acceptance and letting go (but still funny in parts) I enjoyed the entire book, but the last third was the most interesting to me as it delves into the grief, loss and moving forward. The writing style is excellent and kept me engaged throughout.