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savvystory's review against another edition
4.0
I first read this book in my 20s because my big sister sent it to me. ❤️ It was my introduction to boundaries and the idea that I could live my life for me. It was my guiding light out of a bad relationship and in a lot of ways to the person I am now.
Rereading it now as a 32 year old, it’s helpful to be reminded of Sugar’s main point: only you can make the life you want for yourself, and you need to go for it. She’s like a compassionate big sister encouraging you to attend the party (of life).
But also now that I’m a mental health professional, her use of her personal trauma in her responses has me feeling queasy. On one hand I think her honesty and vulnerability helps drive her points home and hopefully energize people. On the other hand it feels icky to leverage stories of self harm and childhood sexual abuse so graphically. She doesn’t know the people she’s responding to and is only going off their letter. I can only read so much in one setting because her answers can be so intense.
I think she does a good job of acknowledging the limits of her advice. And she seems to pick the letters she feels confident she can respond to based on her experience. She also focuses on letters in which the person seems to be asking permission for the thing they want, and she reflects that back. She is compassionate, direct and fair.
Rereading it now as a 32 year old, it’s helpful to be reminded of Sugar’s main point: only you can make the life you want for yourself, and you need to go for it. She’s like a compassionate big sister encouraging you to attend the party (of life).
But also now that I’m a mental health professional, her use of her personal trauma in her responses has me feeling queasy. On one hand I think her honesty and vulnerability helps drive her points home and hopefully energize people. On the other hand it feels icky to leverage stories of self harm and childhood sexual abuse so graphically. She doesn’t know the people she’s responding to and is only going off their letter. I can only read so much in one setting because her answers can be so intense.
I think she does a good job of acknowledging the limits of her advice. And she seems to pick the letters she feels confident she can respond to based on her experience. She also focuses on letters in which the person seems to be asking permission for the thing they want, and she reflects that back. She is compassionate, direct and fair.
aimeemangan's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.0
adrlennon's review against another edition
5.0
I am forever grateful to the Barnes & Noble employee who randomly recommended this book to me years ago. Such a treasure that I will read & reread & reread.
masapretzel's review against another edition
adventurous
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
fast-paced
4.0
This woman is CRAZY!!!!... but she's right
julianananana's review against another edition
3.75
Second read (2024) – 3.75 ⭐
Upon a second read, I find that this book that felt like an absolute life saver in 2019 is more nuanced and flawed than I thought. Sometimes, Strayed gives bad advice! Sometimes, reading "sweet pea" over and over is grating and feels more condescending than I'm sure Strayed intended. Sometimes, violence and trauma are suddenly presented to the reader in a way that is so disturbing it distracts and repels.
On the other hand, the specific columns that have stayed in my heart for 5 years still rang true to me. Having read it at such a formative time in my life, my worldview is irreversibly colored by some of Strayed's advice and perspectives (of the messiness of life, the options available and the choses one can make, forgiveness, relationships, and grief). The column that has always made me cry the absolute most is still The Obliterated Place. The one that I relate to most is still The Truth That Lives There.
Upon a second read, I find that this book that felt like an absolute life saver in 2019 is more nuanced and flawed than I thought. Sometimes, Strayed gives bad advice! Sometimes, reading "sweet pea" over and over is grating and feels more condescending than I'm sure Strayed intended. Sometimes, violence and trauma are suddenly presented to the reader in a way that is so disturbing it distracts and repels.
On the other hand, the specific columns that have stayed in my heart for 5 years still rang true to me. Having read it at such a formative time in my life, my worldview is irreversibly colored by some of Strayed's advice and perspectives (of the messiness of life, the options available and the choses one can make, forgiveness, relationships, and grief). The column that has always made me cry the absolute most is still The Obliterated Place. The one that I relate to most is still The Truth That Lives There.
elenaschafer's review against another edition
5.0
As good as everyone says. Elicited quite a few tears.
she_reader's review against another edition
5.0
Better than most advice precisely because of the reason it gets criticized. Strayed doesn't come from a high holy place with her thoughts, she's lived it and is willing to share it. That's priceless. I drop know-it-all friends, why would I want to read that kind of advice? Not to be read all at once.