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3.54 AVERAGE
3.54 AVERAGE
I would go to the mat for Amy Chua on this one .... I think this book is a real accomplishment; sure, the lady is crazy about her kids and acts crazy because of it - but she captures the real pain of being an Asian mother and being who she is and having talented children -
I liked Amy's candor about the ups and downs of her parenting choices.
Summary: Traces the rewards and pitfalls of a Chinese mother's exercise in extreme parenting, describing the exacting standards applied to grades, music lessons, and avoidance of Western cultural practices.
Summary: Traces the rewards and pitfalls of a Chinese mother's exercise in extreme parenting, describing the exacting standards applied to grades, music lessons, and avoidance of Western cultural practices.
I enjoyed the book. The hype painted this mother as horrific but I thought that the book was more about her transformation.
I read this book in less than 24 hours. See comments for my review.
Though I am extremely late to this book, I didn't know much about the content prior to picking it up. I'd certainly known of its reputation, and I'd also read that Chua's daughters have defended her after its publication and that Chua described the book as self-deprecating memoir that isn't meant to be a how-to. I heard that people were picking it up again though, so I wanted to know for myself if the book truly is misunderstood, or if it was simply bad at conveying its message.
The tone is admittedly self-aware, to some extent, but only in the way that people who say offensive things hurriedly add "Just kidding! It was just a joke!" afterward because they knew people would be offended but they wanted to say it anyway. Because of the self-awareness, I was waiting for some kind of lesson that the narrator would ultimately learn, but, alas, she learns nothing by the end. If anything, the book suggests that her tiger parenting failed only because she is not supported by a likeminded society and that she only concedes in the end because she was. The final chapter is a conversation between Chua and her daughters, but reads as a disclaimer that says that the daughters don't think their portrayals are completely accurate and that the family is actually happy. It's a frustrating cop-out.
Chua also makes sweeping generalizations that are racist, classist, and ableist throughout the book. (At some point, she also describes a tutor whose gender she doesn't know and opts to use "it" to refer to them.) Sure, some of these claims would be phrased in ways that imply that it's a cultural belief and not her own, but many are still phrased in first-person and the present tense. This book is ultimately a glorified diary that does not dissuade readers from using it as a how-to—in fact, the book and the research that Chua cites pretty much encourage this, especially with the final chapter showing that her daughters are happy and well.
As someone who used to work with wealthy Asian American families who expected their children to attend Ivy Leagues, I fear and know that those parents will take a page out of this book unquestioningly. My partner works at our local bookstore and told me that customers have been asking for this book at least once a week. I can only hope that whoever reads it does so critically. This book is so harmful for so many reasons. I do not recommend it.
The tone is admittedly self-aware, to some extent, but only in the way that people who say offensive things hurriedly add "Just kidding! It was just a joke!" afterward because they knew people would be offended but they wanted to say it anyway. Because of the self-awareness, I was waiting for some kind of lesson that the narrator would ultimately learn, but, alas, she learns nothing by the end. If anything, the book suggests that her tiger parenting failed only because she is not supported by a likeminded society and that she only concedes in the end because she was
Spoiler
embarrassed by her younger daughter's public outbursts to their peers, culminating in the scene in MoscowChua also makes sweeping generalizations that are racist, classist, and ableist throughout the book. (At some point, she also describes a tutor whose gender she doesn't know and opts to use "it" to refer to them.) Sure, some of these claims would be phrased in ways that imply that it's a cultural belief and not her own, but many are still phrased in first-person and the present tense. This book is ultimately a glorified diary that does not dissuade readers from using it as a how-to—in fact, the book and the research that Chua cites pretty much encourage this, especially with the final chapter showing that her daughters are happy and well.
As someone who used to work with wealthy Asian American families who expected their children to attend Ivy Leagues, I fear and know that those parents will take a page out of this book unquestioningly. My partner works at our local bookstore and told me that customers have been asking for this book at least once a week. I can only hope that whoever reads it does so critically. This book is so harmful for so many reasons. I do not recommend it.
Not sure if I didn't like the book or her parenting style...
This book was actually quite comical. I think she made it more controversial for ratings, and it worked too! Bottom line this book has great insight into being a strict parent and the downfalls of that parenting choice. There needs to be balance. And not all children are the same. I truly enjoyed this book and definitely would recommend it to a new parent.
I had read countless arguments, articles, and reviews about the book so I knew what was coming but I still can't believe this book was published as is. At first, I laughed because my parents raised me in a similar way. And as miserable as I thought I was then, I am now eternally grateful for what they did and I love and respect them so much. But then halfway through, her book went over the edge. She was no longer a tiger mom but a crazy one. And at the end, it was apparent that she never did figure out how to end the book or what her point was. It ruined it for me. If I was her editor, I would have handed it back like she did when her daughters gave her the sad, last minute homemade birthday cards and told her it wasn't good enough. A disgrace.
The whole time I kept thinking that there's no way my kids can compete against Tiger Mom kids. It boggles my mind - Amy Chua must have superhuman strength, energy and patience. I found the book humorous and interesting, especially the different receptions it received in different countries.