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3.54 AVERAGE
3.54 AVERAGE
I read this in a few days. As a relatively new mother it makes you pause to think about how much if any Tiger Mother you have or may want to have in you. A book worthy of some good book club debates.
challenging
informative
reflective
medium-paced
I think I would've liked this book more if it hadn't been written by Chua. She only came off as very unfunny and lacking self-awareness, while making grandiose blanket statements about parenting and ignoring all the benefits her and her husband's money, prestige, and power had brought their children even as they continuously reaped said benefits (as well as the benefits she reaped from her own parents, but alas) and instead attributed their success only to her (grey-scale abusive) parenting style. The topic itself I believe is too nuanced for Chua's black/white dichotomic views.
While I definitely don't agree with Amy's approach to (Chinese) parenting, I really enjoyed reading about it. Kudos to her for being so honest.
All the media hype around this book had really turned me off toward it -- but then several friends recommended it (and it's the book club read for this month to boot) and so I decided to give it a shot.
First of all, I was surprised at how extremely readable this book was. The writing was candid (this woman is very courageous to let the world "see" her on her worst parenting days -- wow!) and conversational and I could hardly put it down.
Secondly, I was surprised at how much I got out of this book. This was not meant to be a parenting book (as the media would have you think) -- no, this is more of a memoir, a reflection on the author's parenting choices. I love that, at the end, the author assesses and adjusts her parenting -- particularly with her headstrong younger daughter. For all the merits of the "Chinese" way of parenting, Chua acknowledges that sometimes it backfires -- and she acknowledges that a relationship with her daughter is more important than the daughter's success (as a musician or anything else). Sure, she may have some habits that die hard -- but don't we all?
And if Chua can take a look at "the other side" and adopt some of it for her family -- shouldn't we Westerners be willing to do the same? I couldn't help but think about my own parenting beliefs and practices as I read this book. And you know what -- I daresay I could use a little more of the "Chinese" way sometimes!
First of all, I was surprised at how extremely readable this book was. The writing was candid (this woman is very courageous to let the world "see" her on her worst parenting days -- wow!) and conversational and I could hardly put it down.
Secondly, I was surprised at how much I got out of this book. This was not meant to be a parenting book (as the media would have you think) -- no, this is more of a memoir, a reflection on the author's parenting choices. I love that, at the end, the author assesses and adjusts her parenting -- particularly with her headstrong younger daughter. For all the merits of the "Chinese" way of parenting, Chua acknowledges that sometimes it backfires -- and she acknowledges that a relationship with her daughter is more important than the daughter's success (as a musician or anything else). Sure, she may have some habits that die hard -- but don't we all?
And if Chua can take a look at "the other side" and adopt some of it for her family -- shouldn't we Westerners be willing to do the same? I couldn't help but think about my own parenting beliefs and practices as I read this book. And you know what -- I daresay I could use a little more of the "Chinese" way sometimes!
The writing itself was fine. The story.... ug. I do not like this woman. I would hate to be her daughter. No wonder her daughter fought with her. Besides that, she overgeneralized "western parents" and was way way wrong. I make my kids work, but I don't yell and scream and force them into submission. It's called balance. The way she told the story, she sounded UNHAPPY. So why did she live that way? Just because she thought she was supposed to? Really?
funny
reflective
fast-paced
I'm torn about this book. As much as I want to hate Chua, I think she's smart, and I think she learned something from her obsession with so-called 'Chinese parenting.' Though she is relentlessly condescending throughout the book, and has an unbearable superiority complex, I found some redemption for her and her family in the end, when Lulu was able to enjoy tennis, and Sophia accept her role as the excellent older sibling. Amy Chua is able to step back at last and let her daughters make a few decisions on their own. Nonetheless, her final remark is, essentially, "I'm always right and my daughter's know it."
Chua is undoubtedly an intelligent woman. She works for Yale, after all. But her writing was surprisingly terrible. She'd often bring up stories for no purpose whatsoever (teeth marks on the piano?) and fails to explain their relevance to whatever point she's struggling to make.
Like the rest of us, I'd be interested to see how these girls are doing today.
Chua is undoubtedly an intelligent woman. She works for Yale, after all. But her writing was surprisingly terrible. She'd often bring up stories for no purpose whatsoever (teeth marks on the piano?) and fails to explain their relevance to whatever point she's struggling to make.
Like the rest of us, I'd be interested to see how these girls are doing today.
The interesting, hilarious, and often infuriating story of how a Chinese woman married to a Jewish man decides to raise her children in the Chinese manner. Yikes! Obviously, my minimal parenting skills would have made her swoon. While I was concerned about my children being happy and engaged (as are many Western parents, to the author's disgust), Chua,s two daughters were not allowed to go to sleepovers, have playdates, be in a school play, be involved in an organized sport, or play an instrument other than the violin or piano--and they were going to play either the piano or violin. Amy Chua made it clear that she expected as much from herself as she expected from her children so it was exhausting for everyone concerned. So, how did it work out? Fairly well for the elder daughter who met her mother's expectations and was a perfect student as well as a musical talent. Not so well for the second daughter, Lulu, who completely rebelled and ultimately humbled her mother. An interesting, yet horrifying, account of how parenting skills differ from culture to culture.
Not only do I vehemently disagree with her parenting style, this book is neither well-written nor thoughtfully engaging (though it is a bit addictive). It's a remarkably poor memoir.
In my view, the way she parents disgraces the good values she claims to uphold (like assuming your children are strong rather than fragile, and pushing them to be better than they think they can be). Also disappointing is her drive toward achievement for achievement's sake without any higher purpose or evaluation of what matters. (Is placing first instead of second in a timed 5th grade multiplication really worth 2,000 practice problems? Couldn't that time be better spent doing something else?)
In my view, the way she parents disgraces the good values she claims to uphold (like assuming your children are strong rather than fragile, and pushing them to be better than they think they can be). Also disappointing is her drive toward achievement for achievement's sake without any higher purpose or evaluation of what matters. (Is placing first instead of second in a timed 5th grade multiplication really worth 2,000 practice problems? Couldn't that time be better spent doing something else?)