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3.54 AVERAGE
3.54 AVERAGE
Although Amy Chua was absolutely skewered in the press for her "Chinese Mothering" techniques, I found this book insightful and entertaining. She is absolutely over zealous in parenting (in my opinion)and although she insists it is because she wants the best for her two daughters, I question who she was really doing this for. I think this would make a great discussion/book club selection.
Quick and interesting read. Didn't make me want to change my parent practices! I don't have the stamina to become a Chinese mother.
Truly an insightful read. Chua writes with conviction and gut-wrenching honesty about the struggles and successes of raising her two daughters "the Chinese way".
Much different than what I thought from the media coverage when this came out. Large parts of the book were really funny, and Chua has a lot of self-awareness about her extreme parenting. She does a lot of things I wouldn't do, but the comparison of parenting styles was interesting.
funny
informative
reflective
fast-paced
I did not read the Wall Street Journal excerpt or article or pay attention to the hubbub when the book was published except to note that Amy Chua was a villain for being a demanding mother. As a childless adult I spend plenty of time mentally judging parents for their undisciplined children (is my comeuppance just around the corner? Stay tuned!) and wishing that Americans could extract some modicum of good behavior from their kids. Chua describes her parenting, which was admittedly and hilariously harsh at times. She demands long piano practices, math drills, and Mandarin language practice. This works great for one daughter but the other rebels, and the book mainly focuses on her journey of parenting Lulu. Apparently even Tiger Mother can't control every kid. Of course, "rebellion" in this family is choosing to practice tennis instead of violin. But Lulu's determination and stubborn rebellion eventually force even the Tiger Mother to give up some of the puppet strings.
As a future parent, I did get some parenting tips from the book. First let me say that I was disappointed that this did not give instruction on how to completely convince a kid that you are in charge. If there is one thing I am afraid of, it is the moment that my kid realizes that I am not the boss of him/her... for real. This terrifies me. But I do subscribe to Chua's assertion that nothing is fun unless you are good at it, and I really wish I had stuck with a few of my interests instead of trying everything known to man. I also think that setting expectations for kids is a sign of parents' confidence in them, not a form of cruelty. It's a smart book and although Chua's tone can be slightly cocky, she is self-deprecating and it's easy to see that the book comes from a battle-earned wisdom and not holier-than-thou preaching.
As a future parent, I did get some parenting tips from the book. First let me say that I was disappointed that this did not give instruction on how to completely convince a kid that you are in charge. If there is one thing I am afraid of, it is the moment that my kid realizes that I am not the boss of him/her... for real. This terrifies me. But I do subscribe to Chua's assertion that nothing is fun unless you are good at it, and I really wish I had stuck with a few of my interests instead of trying everything known to man. I also think that setting expectations for kids is a sign of parents' confidence in them, not a form of cruelty. It's a smart book and although Chua's tone can be slightly cocky, she is self-deprecating and it's easy to see that the book comes from a battle-earned wisdom and not holier-than-thou preaching.
I picked up this book after hearing the author recently on NPR. She was explaining how she imagined her book more "David Sedaris-like" but that when the NY Times gave it a heading along the lines of: "Why Chinese Mothers are better than the rest of us", she started getting a lot of negative feedback. She did not intend this as a parenting advice book, but on a reflection on her own parenting. There definitely were funny parts in the first half of the book, but it took a more despairing turn in the second half. I enjoyed hearing her speak on NPR and I enjoyed her book for the most part. Late in the book she tells about the events that occurred immediately before she began to write it. To me, it seems like this was a chance for her to reflect and process some things going on in her life and it grew from that. That does not necessarily make the best book, but I could empathize with her. I don't think anyone feels like a superstar parent, especially not in the midst of parenting teens. My issues may have been different than hers, but I appreciated the reminder that all parents struggle.
I read this on my kindle, and one thing that disturbed me was the "most highlighted" feature where you see things that are commonly highlighted by other readers. Seeing those highlights made me feel that many readers do not understand that much of what Amy Chua wrote was tongue-in-cheek.
Since I have many characters left on my review, I will share some passages that made me laugh out loud.
"Jed's parents often vacationed without their kids. They traveled with friends to dangerous places like Guatemala (where they were almost kidnapped), Zimbabwe (where they went on safari), and Borobudur, Indonesia (where they heard the gamelan). My parents never went on vacation without their four kids, which meant we had to stay in some really cheap motels. Also, having grown up in the developing world, my parents wouldn't have gone to Guatemala, Zimbabwe or Borubudur if someone paid them; they took us to Europe instead, which has governments."
"Back at the piano, Lulu made me pay. She punched, thrashed and kicked. She grabbed the music score and tore it to shreds. I taped the score back together and encased it in a plastic shield so that it could never be destroyed again. Then I hauled Lulu's doll-house to the car and told her I'd donate it to the Salvation Army piece by piece if she didn't have The Little White Donkey perfect by the next day. When Lulu said, "I thought you were going to the Salvation Army, why are you still here? I threatened her with no lunch, no dinner, no Christmas or Hannukkah presents, no birthday parties for two, three, four years. When she still kept playing it wrong, I told her she was purposely working herself into a frenzy because she was secretly afraid she couldn't do it. I told her to stop being lazy, cowardly, self-indulgent and pathetic. Jed took me aside. He told me to stop insulting Lulu-- which I wasn't even doing. I was just motivating her--and that he didn't think threatening Lulu was helpful."
"Sophia had just reminded me that her sixth-grade Medieval Festival was coming up, and there's nothing I hate more than all these festivals and projects that private schools specialize in. Instead of making kids study from books, private schools are constantly trying to make learning fun by having parents do all the work."
I read this on my kindle, and one thing that disturbed me was the "most highlighted" feature where you see things that are commonly highlighted by other readers. Seeing those highlights made me feel that many readers do not understand that much of what Amy Chua wrote was tongue-in-cheek.
Since I have many characters left on my review, I will share some passages that made me laugh out loud.
"Jed's parents often vacationed without their kids. They traveled with friends to dangerous places like Guatemala (where they were almost kidnapped), Zimbabwe (where they went on safari), and Borobudur, Indonesia (where they heard the gamelan). My parents never went on vacation without their four kids, which meant we had to stay in some really cheap motels. Also, having grown up in the developing world, my parents wouldn't have gone to Guatemala, Zimbabwe or Borubudur if someone paid them; they took us to Europe instead, which has governments."
"Back at the piano, Lulu made me pay. She punched, thrashed and kicked. She grabbed the music score and tore it to shreds. I taped the score back together and encased it in a plastic shield so that it could never be destroyed again. Then I hauled Lulu's doll-house to the car and told her I'd donate it to the Salvation Army piece by piece if she didn't have The Little White Donkey perfect by the next day. When Lulu said, "I thought you were going to the Salvation Army, why are you still here? I threatened her with no lunch, no dinner, no Christmas or Hannukkah presents, no birthday parties for two, three, four years. When she still kept playing it wrong, I told her she was purposely working herself into a frenzy because she was secretly afraid she couldn't do it. I told her to stop being lazy, cowardly, self-indulgent and pathetic. Jed took me aside. He told me to stop insulting Lulu-- which I wasn't even doing. I was just motivating her--and that he didn't think threatening Lulu was helpful."
"Sophia had just reminded me that her sixth-grade Medieval Festival was coming up, and there's nothing I hate more than all these festivals and projects that private schools specialize in. Instead of making kids study from books, private schools are constantly trying to make learning fun by having parents do all the work."
I had a hard time rating this book. I mainly read it since I was intrigued by the WSJ article on it & to kill time while I was waiting for a classmate.
I'm not sure whether or not I liked this book. I found a lot of it off-putting, especially since Amy Chua struck me as being rather extreme & as another reviewer put it, very much a snob. At the same time, I can also relate, as I saw some aspects of my own upbringing in Amy's parenting style. Like Amy, my mother is a Chinese mother, being from Hong Kong, and while she was also very strict with me and my siblings, and at times, too strict, I am very glad that she learned much earlier than Amy did, to respect us as individuals and allow for more freedom of choice.
The biggest problem I have with Amy's book & how she describes the Chinese way of parenting, is the stress on achievement. I suppose that's how the world is, but at the same time, aside from her brief mention of teaching her daughters not to make fun of people from different cultures, there is no mention of any guidance in becoming a better human being. I guess that's not the focus of her book, but given how much publicity it has generated, I would have liked to see that in addition to all of her strictness, and focus on a good work ethic, she would also have instilled in her daughters the importance of kindness and compassion, not because it would make them more "cosmopolitan" but because ultimately, that is what is the most important.
After all, Hitler was considered brilliant, and when it comes down to it, you could argue that he was pretty darn successful - he conquered most of the Western world. But he absolutely and completely failed as a human being.
I'm not sure whether or not I liked this book. I found a lot of it off-putting, especially since Amy Chua struck me as being rather extreme & as another reviewer put it, very much a snob. At the same time, I can also relate, as I saw some aspects of my own upbringing in Amy's parenting style. Like Amy, my mother is a Chinese mother, being from Hong Kong, and while she was also very strict with me and my siblings, and at times, too strict, I am very glad that she learned much earlier than Amy did, to respect us as individuals and allow for more freedom of choice.
The biggest problem I have with Amy's book & how she describes the Chinese way of parenting, is the stress on achievement. I suppose that's how the world is, but at the same time, aside from her brief mention of teaching her daughters not to make fun of people from different cultures, there is no mention of any guidance in becoming a better human being. I guess that's not the focus of her book, but given how much publicity it has generated, I would have liked to see that in addition to all of her strictness, and focus on a good work ethic, she would also have instilled in her daughters the importance of kindness and compassion, not because it would make them more "cosmopolitan" but because ultimately, that is what is the most important.
After all, Hitler was considered brilliant, and when it comes down to it, you could argue that he was pretty darn successful - he conquered most of the Western world. But he absolutely and completely failed as a human being.
This book really had me re-thinking my parenting years and wishing I had been more forceful at times. I am sure I seemed like a ranting maniac to my kids more than once, but it sounds like this the norm in the Chua household. Ironically I am also reading Nurture Shock about the Western parenting techniques that are actually backfiring. Hopefully somewhere there is a middle ground.
Well written, I agree with many of the things written there, but many times things are pushed to extreme, like a kind of obsession with children's achievement.
As a well-accomplished person myself, successful in everything I endeavoured in life, I know that you don't have to give up childhood in order to be successful. I played a lot as a child, I also studied hard when needed, so know I know that it is possible to allow one's children to have a childhood while pushing them hard when it comes to work and responsibilities.
As a well-accomplished person myself, successful in everything I endeavoured in life, I know that you don't have to give up childhood in order to be successful. I played a lot as a child, I also studied hard when needed, so know I know that it is possible to allow one's children to have a childhood while pushing them hard when it comes to work and responsibilities.