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4.12 AVERAGE
4.12 AVERAGE
I love clementine so much i’m not even going to pretend to be objective. This feminist gem by goddess clementine presents a case against marriage for modern women and explains how capitalist patriarchal structures need women to believe in and strive for marriage in order to maintain control over women’s agency and freedoms. It covers so many topics as well - as always, it’s witty, well-researched, and cutting. loved it. loveloveloved it.
The Case Against Marriage could have been such a well thought-out and engaging book that challenges the institution of marriage and the power structure it is designed to uphold. Instead, Clementine Ford’s style of writing - condescending, sarcastic and purposely antagonising - overshadows all credible arguments that she makes throughout the book and turns readers against her.
The book presents interesting statistics and makes a compelling argument against marriage. Ford takes a look at this historical context of marriage - how it has been used by a patriarchal society to assert dominance and control over women, how marriage is often the only option for a woman wanting to escape particular living circumstances or undermine women’s rights and autonomy. Once established, she turns her focus to contemporary times - capitalism and the perfect wedding, cringeworthy proposals and engagement announcements on social media, and how women in marriages continue to do bulk of the domestic labour with no aid, acknowledgement or compensation from their husbands.
Should Ford simply have wanted to stand upon a soap box and preach to an already converted (white, middle class, privileged) choir, this book would be sufficient. For a book that explores how power and domination is perpetuated and held up by the institution of marriage it is oddly silent on domestic violence, fails to look at other demographics (which she asserts in her prologue that she does not write about since it is not her lived experience, but remaining silent on it also suggests laziness at best, and at worse, a refusal to research and engage with issues that does not affect her personally but remains crucial to broader discussions).
The lack of self-awareness in I Don’t is astounding and what could have been an interesting conversation piece in contemporary times instead turns into an exercise in white Feminism which falls apart on Clementine Ford’s lack of intellectual curiosity, condescending tone and need to uphold her own ego. I can’t help but wonder how right wing communities would weaponise and wield this book against women if they ever got their hands on it.
The book presents interesting statistics and makes a compelling argument against marriage. Ford takes a look at this historical context of marriage - how it has been used by a patriarchal society to assert dominance and control over women, how marriage is often the only option for a woman wanting to escape particular living circumstances or undermine women’s rights and autonomy. Once established, she turns her focus to contemporary times - capitalism and the perfect wedding, cringeworthy proposals and engagement announcements on social media, and how women in marriages continue to do bulk of the domestic labour with no aid, acknowledgement or compensation from their husbands.
Should Ford simply have wanted to stand upon a soap box and preach to an already converted (white, middle class, privileged) choir, this book would be sufficient. For a book that explores how power and domination is perpetuated and held up by the institution of marriage it is oddly silent on domestic violence, fails to look at other demographics (which she asserts in her prologue that she does not write about since it is not her lived experience, but remaining silent on it also suggests laziness at best, and at worse, a refusal to research and engage with issues that does not affect her personally but remains crucial to broader discussions).
The lack of self-awareness in I Don’t is astounding and what could have been an interesting conversation piece in contemporary times instead turns into an exercise in white Feminism which falls apart on Clementine Ford’s lack of intellectual curiosity, condescending tone and need to uphold her own ego. I can’t help but wonder how right wing communities would weaponise and wield this book against women if they ever got their hands on it.
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
When I finished the book my reaction was "thank god"
I wanted to read this book to consider more ideas against the institution of marriage. I Got tired of the many angry rants - I'm fine with Clem being angry, rightfully so. However, I don't find the angry rants compelling- emotionally or intellectually. In contrast, chapters with social commentary EG the proposal chapter was a lot more compelling - which is why I picked up this book.
- Considering that marriage rates have decreased, and de facto relationships have grown in popularity, it would have been interesting to see her explore this. Do the same arguments still hold? If so, perhaps the issue isn't marriage.
Or is the argument that marriage makes it difficult for women to leave (socially, contractually and associated financially) - then the other arguments don't really hold specifically to marriage, but rather to all hetero relationships ?
- Ahhh when she discusses infant mortality rates etc she uses global averages, then clarifies that the majority occurs in sub-saharan Africa. She's picking and choosing when to talk about BIWOC as she finds convenient?? Theres also so much to say around Australia / global north's female/ reproductive health issues.
This is also damaging because her other points also disproportionately affect BIWOC, not only health issues
I wanted to read this book to consider more ideas against the institution of marriage. I Got tired of the many angry rants - I'm fine with Clem being angry, rightfully so. However, I don't find the angry rants compelling- emotionally or intellectually. In contrast, chapters with social commentary EG the proposal chapter was a lot more compelling - which is why I picked up this book.
- Considering that marriage rates have decreased, and de facto relationships have grown in popularity, it would have been interesting to see her explore this. Do the same arguments still hold? If so, perhaps the issue isn't marriage.
Or is the argument that marriage makes it difficult for women to leave (socially, contractually and associated financially) - then the other arguments don't really hold specifically to marriage, but rather to all hetero relationships ?
- Ahhh when she discusses infant mortality rates etc she uses global averages, then clarifies that the majority occurs in sub-saharan Africa. She's picking and choosing when to talk about BIWOC as she finds convenient?? Theres also so much to say around Australia / global north's female/ reproductive health issues.
This is also damaging because her other points also disproportionately affect BIWOC, not only health issues
Rage, rage, feminine rage. This book dissects our society and tears down the patriarchy. The blinders are lifted. It will make you mad and disgusted. But also rejoice in the feminine. A lot of sarcastic man bashing which may be a hard pill to swallow, it’s definitely not an easy read, but it’s strong, well researched, important and powerful.
informative
reflective
slow-paced
Yep, reading Clementine Ford is like having a conversation over a couple of margaritas with a close female friend.
Look, as a single Lady-No-Kids coming up to one year since her separation, there are many ways I could've approached this book. And I know that I've come out of my separation in a far better financial and social position than millions of other women, especially my age.
Did I need to read this book? No. There were many tenets about the institution of marriage that I was already aware of, and went into my own marriage questioning them head-on myself. I was not given away - we walked each other down the aisle as equals - I refused to adopt a new name, we had separate bank accounts and wholly independent lives that did not revolve around each other.
Yet reading all of this through Clem's voice just feels reassuring - that it's okay to have the promise of the safety and connection of marriage fall down in front of even the most critical of eyes, and not be a feminist failure. (She will, though, defend her choice of a historic Gaol as a venue!)
So many quotes to choose from to add to my author biography though!!!
"She is is old, she is sad, she is friendless. ... She is dried up, she is grotesque, she is unworthy of that most precious of resources: male attention. In one of the many paradoxes of misogynist logic, she is both bereft of sexual experiences and yet also boasts a vagina the size of a shipping container. ... She is the most nightmarish vision the world can imagine, a rotting witch clattering about in a dank house with the dozens of feral animals she keeps to stave off her wretched loneliness."
"If science - which we know is never wrong! - could be used to prove that men really are better at being paid more and women excel at picking up clothes, then men could stop feeling so bad about benefiting from the massive social advantages they've deliberately engineered for themselves, and women could stop expecting them to change."
"Menstruation - the womb's wallpaper!"
"Why would a woman shun the glorious blessing of being a wife (or give up trying her damnedest to become one) unless there was something fundamentally wrong with her? A chronic history of trauma, perhaps, such as the accumulated devastation of being ignored by men (the worst kind of pain)? ... Deprived of the warm glow of a man's interest and thus stripped of life's purpose, this unearthly demon now spends her days worshipping the hideous gods of feminism and all their snake-tongued lies, that pesky uterous one again bone bouncing around her unloved body as she numbs the intensity of her hunger fo rmale affection with a series of industrial-sized dildos, pharmaceutical-grade drugs and the regular updfating of her blog, Why Men Should Die."
BRB, starting up my blog.
Look, as a single Lady-No-Kids coming up to one year since her separation, there are many ways I could've approached this book. And I know that I've come out of my separation in a far better financial and social position than millions of other women, especially my age.
Did I need to read this book? No. There were many tenets about the institution of marriage that I was already aware of, and went into my own marriage questioning them head-on myself. I was not given away - we walked each other down the aisle as equals - I refused to adopt a new name, we had separate bank accounts and wholly independent lives that did not revolve around each other.
Yet reading all of this through Clem's voice just feels reassuring - that it's okay to have the promise of the safety and connection of marriage fall down in front of even the most critical of eyes, and not be a feminist failure. (She will, though, defend her choice of a historic Gaol as a venue!)
So many quotes to choose from to add to my author biography though!!!
"She is is old, she is sad, she is friendless. ... She is dried up, she is grotesque, she is unworthy of that most precious of resources: male attention. In one of the many paradoxes of misogynist logic, she is both bereft of sexual experiences and yet also boasts a vagina the size of a shipping container. ... She is the most nightmarish vision the world can imagine, a rotting witch clattering about in a dank house with the dozens of feral animals she keeps to stave off her wretched loneliness."
"If science - which we know is never wrong! - could be used to prove that men really are better at being paid more and women excel at picking up clothes, then men could stop feeling so bad about benefiting from the massive social advantages they've deliberately engineered for themselves, and women could stop expecting them to change."
"Menstruation - the womb's wallpaper!"
"Why would a woman shun the glorious blessing of being a wife (or give up trying her damnedest to become one) unless there was something fundamentally wrong with her? A chronic history of trauma, perhaps, such as the accumulated devastation of being ignored by men (the worst kind of pain)? ... Deprived of the warm glow of a man's interest and thus stripped of life's purpose, this unearthly demon now spends her days worshipping the hideous gods of feminism and all their snake-tongued lies, that pesky uterous one again bone bouncing around her unloved body as she numbs the intensity of her hunger fo rmale affection with a series of industrial-sized dildos, pharmaceutical-grade drugs and the regular updfating of her blog, Why Men Should Die."
BRB, starting up my blog.
Excellent. 200% must read. So validating, full of smart research & backstories and highly convincing. My (male) partner now is going to read it.
slow-paced
I wanted to love this.
More churchy than I would have liked. Incredibly preachy. Don't remember hearing any reason not to get married apart from men are Trash.
More churchy than I would have liked. Incredibly preachy. Don't remember hearing any reason not to get married apart from men are Trash.