Reviews with content warning for Misogyny - The Intimacy Experiment

sooo good! gosh! i honestly did not expect to like this book so much. i liked the roommate and i didnt know if i was super into naomi as a character but this book didn’t disappoint.

i think what really helped was ethan. he was so very sweet and like immediately soooo into naomi (and not in any weird gross ways) it was very endearing. naomi was also just very into him and the mutual pining *clutches chest* ugh i fucking love a mutual pining. mutual pining makes me emotional and teary and they just want the world for each other whether they get the prize in the end or not and that means everything to me okay?

there were also so many lines that hit me like “I think I could be good at loving you.” like HELLO??? and nearly right after that: “Say the word, and we can forget this ever happened. I’ll pretend that I never thought about loving you. I’ll look at you less, and without so much longing.” like............ i just........ i yearn...... i pine...... ugh yeah i liked this book and so happy i found it :-)

wait also! i really really enjoyed the judaism in this book! i don’t know much about it or have really heard about the practices but being placed in the middle of these characters, it was interesting to learn. i also just enjoy books that include different cultures and religions and hearing about the faith intertwined in this story was really wonderful and welcoming. i enjoyed the spirituality of it all.

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emfass's review against another edition

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emotional funny hopeful inspiring lighthearted reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.5

Hovering between a 2 and a 2.5.

There was a brief shining moment somewhere in the middle of this book, maybe right around the part where Naomi and Ethan decide to take the plunge and admit their feelings and give their relationship a try, that I thought, "Holy shit, is this gonna be a 4-star read for me??" The beginning had been choppy and it was difficult for me to find the rhythm of the storytelling, but when we got to that point of the story, there was something about these two characters drawing together and leaping into vulnerability and intensity of feelings that I found so compelling and wonderful.

And then...oh, it all just went so terribly wrong.

I can't even speak to specific examples right now, I'm so spitting mad at how wildly inconsistent and messy everything became/continued to be: the characterization, the scene writing, the plotting. It seemed like multiple people had written various parts of this book and then barely bothered to Franken-stitch them together. And let's be clear: I am mad because I was falling SO HARD for Naomi and the way she was learning to soften, and I ESPECIALLY fell for Ethan fucking Cohen. What a perfect cinnamon roll mensch. But everything fell completely apart for me in the final quarter of the book. I desperately read on hoping things would be salvaged, but alas, my heart kept breaking with every page turn.

I agree with much of JenReadsRomance's review, and she articulates some of the structural downfalls way more intelligently than I can, especially the trap of Ethan and Naomi's relationship following the path set down for them by the syllabus they created for their lecture series, and how this forced the characters into a plot structure instead of letting them drive the story. Also, for a book called The Intimacy Experiment, these characters generally do a horrible job of actually talking to each other about their feelings.

Lastly, I want to say I'm kind of let down by both The Roommate and The Intimacy Experiment in that both of the sex worker main characters in these books are allowed to be the focus of the love story only because they're no longer engaged in the having-sex-with-other-people part of their sex work. Maybe the genre just isn't there yet, but it sure would've been cool to see them still actively working that way and being deemed worth of love/a love story.

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leahsbooks's review against another edition

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funny hopeful lighthearted fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

I was immediately intrigued by the premise of this story, and then all of the amazing reviews started flowing and my library hold couldn’t arrive soon enough. The story did NOT disappoint at all. I listened to the audiobook, and the narrators did a great job of bringing this story to life.

Rosie Danan’s strength is hands down her ability to create realistic, complex, multi-faceted characters that I couldn’t help but fall in love with. Naomi is a strong, confident, bisexual woman who has goals and isn’t about to let anything stop her from achieving them. In her efforts to expand her start-up platform into face-to-face lectures, she comes up against an obstacle. People don’t want to give her a chance. Because of her career choice in the past, and doing what was right for her at the time. As tough as Naomi was, there was a soft interior that she kept hidden for fear of getting hurt.

“‘Sex work let me save myself. Let me regain my power.’”

Ethan was a great counterbalance to Naomi — he embodies what Judaism should be. Gentle, patient, empathetic, and nonjudgmental. And when he gives Naomi a chance to show off her live lecturing skills, he won my heart over. But it didn’t stop there. He continued to win over my heart throughout the book with a million little things that he did. Melting her tough exterior, sticking up for her, and gently guiding her to make the decisions that felt right to her all won him so many brownie points in my book. Brownie points? I mean, kugel points. Haha!

“‘If I can’t make Judaism relevant, if its practice can’t accommodate what intimacy looks like today, what’s left of my congregation is going to get rid of me well before I show them what I’m capable of.’”

Judaism is a major aspect of the story, just like it is for the lives of so many people. If you aren’t aware, it’s so much more than a religion. Of course it’s a system of religious beliefs, but it’s also a culture, and a whole way of life. I loved how the author managed to weave Jewish ideas, prayers, beliefs, and practices into Ethan’s everyday life without him ever sounding preachy or overbearing. He simply comes across as a man trying to be the best and most accepting version of himself that he can be, and keeping his congregation alive.

“‘If you’re not coming to me, I have to come to you. And since enough of you seem to care about dating, and intimacy is a core value in our faith, here we are, gathered to learn, to connect, to hopefully, if Naomi does her job,’ he gave her a cheerful nod, ‘enrich our lives.’”

The chemistry between Naomi and Ethan was great. I loved how it developed naturally and was so organic. I loved seeing them connect emotionally, spiritually, and physically. And as expected, the spicy scenes were super hot! Everything about this book was amazing, and I especially appreciated how it also carried a strong message of sex-positivity and self-acceptance. This is one that I’d recommend to any and everyone!

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yin's review

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lighthearted relaxing medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

Read this at a 3am night, but I don't regret it.
Its very cute and the mutual pining pulled some heart strings, I have to say.

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decklededgess's review

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challenging emotional funny hopeful lighthearted fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Trigger warnings: sex and sexual content, sex work related traumas (written well imo), anti semitism and microaggressions, sexual harassment, physical altercation, alcohol, sexist and misogynistic slurs, death of parent, cancer mention, grief

BRO I LOVED THIS

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