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daniellekat's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
2.25
Graphic: Body shaming, Sexism, Alcohol, Misogyny, Classism, Toxic friendship, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Sexual content, Violence, Pregnancy, Grief, and Vomit
Minor: Death of parent, Miscarriage, and Suicide
sex workrexpostfacto's review against another edition
4.5
Graphic: Abandonment, Alcoholism, Alcohol, Classism, Body horror, Body shaming, and Child abuse
Moderate: Death of parent, Drug use, Toxic relationship, Pregnancy, Eating disorder, Grief, Medical content, Physical abuse, Emotional abuse, and Suicide
Minor: Violence, Miscarriage, Xenophobia, and Sexual content
leannanecdote's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
Graphic: Pregnancy, Misogyny, Sexual harassment, Alcohol, Drug use, Dysphoria, Fatphobia, Grief, Sexism, Infertility, Infidelity, Sexual assault, Eating disorder, Cursing, Blood, Classism, Death of parent, Physical abuse, Medical content, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic friendship, Ableism, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Injury/Injury detail, Medical trauma, Mental illness, Miscarriage, Self harm, and Abandonment
ashley_turch's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Graphic: Pregnancy, Abandonment, Classism, Body shaming, Child abuse, Sexism, Infidelity, Medical content, Physical abuse, and Fatphobia
Moderate: Cursing, Infertility, Death of parent, and Violence
dylanrea's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
I love Frances Cha’s writing style - I hope she writes more books!
Graphic: Injury/Injury detail, Physical abuse, Sexism, Classism, Eating disorder, Mental illness, Sexual content, Violence, and Alcohol
Moderate: Miscarriage
Minor: Death of parent
vintovka's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.5
The book got surprising amount of events and things happening on its pages, but not a lot of character development. Most of it is ambigiously left off screen. Did Ara realise something about the nature of parasocial relationship and consumption? Does Wonna have a chance of actually being a good mother in the future, or will her trauma ruin any of her children? Will Miho get over her friend's suicide, and what will it do to her? Will Seunjin regret going down the route of debt and prostitution? I don't know. I can only guess. Which kind of leaves me wondering what even was the point.
I love reading about the good, the bad and the ugly of different female experiences, so I was excited for this book. It gave of vibes of kind of an antithesis to girls' fairy tales and female wish-fullfillment fantasies. It's not _not_ that, but because it's not anything at all. I got attached to the characters and their lives, but the ending left me stumped. What did the book want to say? What was the point of me reading all that?
The book's redeeming qualities are being short and having good, flowing prose, but in the end, IIHYF is a snapshot of how it sucks to be a poor south korean woman, and it doesn't have anything more than that.
Graphic: Medical content, Misogyny, Sexism, Alcohol, Child abuse, Classism, Pregnancy, and Cursing
Moderate: Toxic relationship, Body shaming, Emotional abuse, Bullying, Domestic abuse, Sexual content, Suicide, Ableism, Death of parent, Eating disorder, and Abortion
jrisants's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
5.0
There is no true conflict or resolution in the book and it reads as vignettes from the lives of five women in South Korea, all of them with unfortunate childhoods. Their experiences can serve as cautionary tales for the ills born of sexism and classism, and the characters themselves sway between upholding these ideals, criticizing them, and suffering from them.
In one of the stories Miho is in New York navigating a world full of new cultural norms and surrounded by acquaintances who have already lived abroad and come from rich families. At a party she compliments the pink walls which were decorated by a Portuguese designer, and the compliment is brushed off and treated as against custom to speak about. Later Papa John’s is ordered for the guests and everyone responds excitedly to the food. Miho reflects to herself that she is learning you cannot compliment beautiful decor, but you can make a fuss over takeout food and that these are the things she is still trying to learn and navigate.
Miho also later discussed her experiences with other artists and how she assumes coming from a wealthy family means that you must be happy—but when she looks on the art of the wealthy students she sees deep despair, almost indicating that their suffering has been worse than hers.
At various points in the book there are deep comparisons between men’s experience compared to women, and the wealthy compared to those in poverty. Wrapped in these comparisons are the changed expectations and challenges of the young generation. We see this when Ara finally meets Tain and her idol is cruel abs ruins her perception of him. This plays out again with Kyuri and Bruce who is so nice to her at AJax and then violent when he sees her in his world. Wonna with her aunt and uncle, and even her husband who all have lives that she cannot touch and she seems to both idolize and resent them for it. Soogin is the only one who seems completely removed from these comparisons, seemingly having had a live that never invited her to mingle with those systemically better off than her. She also seems to be the force that knits these women together. She protects and sees power in each of the women, and she creates scenarios for them to pursue it. It is almost as if full acceptance of her position is what enables her to joyfully expect better and rebel against it.
Graphic: Death of parent, Abandonment, Ableism, Suicidal thoughts, Child abuse, Sexual assault, Rape, Body shaming, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Misogyny, Fatphobia, Physical abuse, and Sexual harassment
semi's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
Moderate: Pregnancy, Child abuse, Classism, and Misogyny
Minor: Miscarriage and Death of parent
potatokao's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
at first i felt like the pace and setting the author set made it so that the girls were only suffering and not able to enjoy anything in life and it made me sad to get into the book. maybe halfway when the plot seems to progress a little more, the characters become more active and living.
the connections between all the girls is what makes the book. i love how intertwined they are. they judge each other, they love each other, they get annoyed, they care, they go through life together. not the best of friends, but clearly helped by each other’s company. not family, but all they have for some of them. people who are important to them and people they can be honest with.
i only wish i didnt have to wait half way into the book to see that and there are some parts of their past that are never fully explained. but i understand it’s hard to develop individual characters AND their relationship with one another. once all the characters and their backgrounds are in place, it is well worth it to get to know them.
the ending of the book is what makes it for me. this gradual warmth and hope, like spring air has blown in. it could have ended in any way but this warm ending is what makes me feel that their connection is so full of love and care. life isnt going to suddenly be better but i hope they stay together and work through life together. sending hugs to the girls.
Graphic: Violence and Bullying
Moderate: Alcohol, Classism, Death, Death of parent, Fatphobia, Injury/Injury detail, Medical content, Sexual content, Miscarriage, and Sexism
Minor: Suicide and Rape
vixenreader's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
Graphic: Medical content, Mental illness, Misogyny, Body shaming, Addiction, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Cultural appropriation, Injury/Injury detail, Medical trauma, Miscarriage, Pregnancy, Sexism, and Sexual content
Moderate: Blood, Child death, Grief, Police brutality, Child abuse, Cursing, Death of parent, Infidelity, Panic attacks/disorders, Toxic friendship, Toxic relationship, and Violence
Minor: Abandonment, Abortion, Bullying, Death, and Drug use
If surgery makes you queasy, be prepared for some stomach-turning scenes, and whorephobia is something to watch out for as well.