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4.13 AVERAGE
4.13 AVERAGE
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
I absolutely loved this book!
"Family Family" is such a unique example of what family looks like and how a family is made and who makes up a family. The vast majority of this book is the why and how of India's life and her singular focus and the difficult decisions she makes along the way. It's those choices and the desires of India's heart that allows this grand adventure of family and adoption and honest conversations.
Frankel opened my eyes to a different side to adoption -- how both families (birth and adoptive) are equally lucky to take part of such an experience.
As someone who comes from an untraditional family, this story touched my heart in big ways. I absolutely loved the characters, especially the meddling kiddos.
"Family Family" is such a unique example of what family looks like and how a family is made and who makes up a family. The vast majority of this book is the why and how of India's life and her singular focus and the difficult decisions she makes along the way. It's those choices and the desires of India's heart that allows this grand adventure of family and adoption and honest conversations.
Frankel opened my eyes to a different side to adoption -- how both families (birth and adoptive) are equally lucky to take part of such an experience.
As someone who comes from an untraditional family, this story touched my heart in big ways. I absolutely loved the characters, especially the meddling kiddos.
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Complicated
This book is PHENOMENAL! I have a lot to say about it, but I don't have the time right now, but I will be writing an in-depth review soon. Stay tuned.
Update: I was skeptical when I heard about this book because of the adoption theme, and as an adoptive parent, I am sensitive to the topic. So many times books and movies around adoption are lauded when they represent adoption in a completely false way (like that terrible movie Juno) and the general public has a certain idea about it that isn't true. (I know that this happens with a variety of subjects, and I am one of those people in the general public who don't realize that I am believing a stereotype on those topics, but adoption happens to be my personal journey so I am sensitive to it.) However, this book does a great job representing adoption from many angles and I appreciate the goal of the author (also an adoptive mother) to show a more complex and true perspective.
Oftentimes in the entertainment media, adoption stories are shown as traumas, for the child, the birth parents, and the adoptive parents, and yes, that is a correct perspective for some families; but the perspective that is often overlooked is the one where the adoption is a blessing that is extremely positive. I do acknowledge that though the experience is positive, complexities and difficulties aren't ruled out, of course there is going to be conflict, obstacles, and hardship, and we have experienced them, but in my life, adoption is hands down the best decision my husband and I have ever made. We have had hardships, but the blessings have far outweighed the difficulties. Also, the author does a great job pointing out who exactly is doing the blessing. Repeatedly in my life I have been told what a great thing that we did adopting our son, how lucky he is to have us, and I have to continually correct people that it is the other way around. We are lucky to have him, he is the one who did the great thing by allowing us to parent him. If anyone is fortunate, or blessed, or better off, it is 100% us, not him. People who have not experienced adoption have it backwards, it is the adoptive parents who are the recipients of the most amazing blessing... I have done nothing but benefit in my character, in my love, in my growth from my son. We also have biological children, and I think I can confidently say that they feel the same way about their brother.
This story is told through multiple perspectives and in two timelines. The reader gets to see the perspective of the birth parents, the adoptive parents, and the children. It is complex and representative of many sides of the coin, the trauma involved, the tough choices to be made, the different types of love involved in the different stages of raising children. The author does an excellent job with her language. There is a specific language for adoption that the general public does not understand or use, and the author does a great job with pointing this out. For example, on page 47, the birth mother says she is "going to give it up for adoption", but she is corrected by her own mother who says, "You are going to place. The baby. For adoption. You are going to make an adoption plan for your baby." This is such important language to use and understand. It absolutely curls my toes when people refer to birth parents as "real parents".
There are so many quotes that I highlighted that can write this review better than I can, but there are way too many to put here, so I am going to try to pick the best so you can get the idea:
"Everyone needs their stories told, and not just told. Celebrated." p.33
"I consider my family to be equal. I consider families formed by adoption to be equally strong and equally wonderful and equally worthy and, if you like, equally complicated and fraught as families formed exclusively by biology. It's traumatic for some people to have babies. It's traumatic for some people to have abortions. It's traumatic for some people to be involved in adoption from any side of that equation you like. It's traumatic for some people to be with their families, biological or otherwise. I agree with all of that. But I do not agree that adoptive families necessarily suffer any more trauma than any other kind. I do not agree that they are always settled for or options of last resort, or, by definition, less than. I do not believe they are not 'real'." p.373
"It's important to talk about the ways love is not all an adopted child needs, what those other needs are, how they can best be met. It's important to talk about the challenges many adopted kids face beyond the challenges all kids face. These are important stories. But they are not the only stories. Representation matters not just because it matters that you see yourself in the world but because it matters that you see yourself positively in the world. Representation matters because it matters that you see not-yourself, people who are unlike you, families that are unlike yours, possibilities you hadn't thought of yet, and it matters that you see not-yourself positively too." p. 383, author's note
Update: I was skeptical when I heard about this book because of the adoption theme, and as an adoptive parent, I am sensitive to the topic. So many times books and movies around adoption are lauded when they represent adoption in a completely false way (like that terrible movie Juno) and the general public has a certain idea about it that isn't true. (I know that this happens with a variety of subjects, and I am one of those people in the general public who don't realize that I am believing a stereotype on those topics, but adoption happens to be my personal journey so I am sensitive to it.) However, this book does a great job representing adoption from many angles and I appreciate the goal of the author (also an adoptive mother) to show a more complex and true perspective.
Oftentimes in the entertainment media, adoption stories are shown as traumas, for the child, the birth parents, and the adoptive parents, and yes, that is a correct perspective for some families; but the perspective that is often overlooked is the one where the adoption is a blessing that is extremely positive. I do acknowledge that though the experience is positive, complexities and difficulties aren't ruled out, of course there is going to be conflict, obstacles, and hardship, and we have experienced them, but in my life, adoption is hands down the best decision my husband and I have ever made. We have had hardships, but the blessings have far outweighed the difficulties. Also, the author does a great job pointing out who exactly is doing the blessing. Repeatedly in my life I have been told what a great thing that we did adopting our son, how lucky he is to have us, and I have to continually correct people that it is the other way around. We are lucky to have him, he is the one who did the great thing by allowing us to parent him. If anyone is fortunate, or blessed, or better off, it is 100% us, not him. People who have not experienced adoption have it backwards, it is the adoptive parents who are the recipients of the most amazing blessing... I have done nothing but benefit in my character, in my love, in my growth from my son. We also have biological children, and I think I can confidently say that they feel the same way about their brother.
This story is told through multiple perspectives and in two timelines. The reader gets to see the perspective of the birth parents, the adoptive parents, and the children. It is complex and representative of many sides of the coin, the trauma involved, the tough choices to be made, the different types of love involved in the different stages of raising children. The author does an excellent job with her language. There is a specific language for adoption that the general public does not understand or use, and the author does a great job with pointing this out. For example, on page 47, the birth mother says she is "going to give it up for adoption", but she is corrected by her own mother who says, "You are going to place. The baby. For adoption. You are going to make an adoption plan for your baby." This is such important language to use and understand. It absolutely curls my toes when people refer to birth parents as "real parents".
There are so many quotes that I highlighted that can write this review better than I can, but there are way too many to put here, so I am going to try to pick the best so you can get the idea:
"Everyone needs their stories told, and not just told. Celebrated." p.33
"I consider my family to be equal. I consider families formed by adoption to be equally strong and equally wonderful and equally worthy and, if you like, equally complicated and fraught as families formed exclusively by biology. It's traumatic for some people to have babies. It's traumatic for some people to have abortions. It's traumatic for some people to be involved in adoption from any side of that equation you like. It's traumatic for some people to be with their families, biological or otherwise. I agree with all of that. But I do not agree that adoptive families necessarily suffer any more trauma than any other kind. I do not agree that they are always settled for or options of last resort, or, by definition, less than. I do not believe they are not 'real'." p.373
"It's important to talk about the ways love is not all an adopted child needs, what those other needs are, how they can best be met. It's important to talk about the challenges many adopted kids face beyond the challenges all kids face. These are important stories. But they are not the only stories. Representation matters not just because it matters that you see yourself in the world but because it matters that you see yourself positively in the world. Representation matters because it matters that you see not-yourself, people who are unlike you, families that are unlike yours, possibilities you hadn't thought of yet, and it matters that you see not-yourself positively too." p. 383, author's note
emotional
hopeful
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
adventurous
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Complicated
Memorable Quotes:
---
---
Adults always thought that, that being yourself was the best thing to be. Louis wasn’t sure if that was just something they said because they knew you were stuck being you, so might as well make the best of it, or if it was something they believed because being yourself when you were an adult was great, and they forgot that being yourself when you were a kid usually wasn’t
---
It’s good to know love, and it’s good to know love is not enough. It’s good to know love, and it’s good to know love is not an obligation.
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Complicated
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes