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1.18k reviews for:
Girl, Stop Apologizing: A Shame-Free Plan for Embracing and Achieving Your Goals
Rachel Hollis
3.5 AVERAGE
1.18k reviews for:
Girl, Stop Apologizing: A Shame-Free Plan for Embracing and Achieving Your Goals
Rachel Hollis
3.5 AVERAGE
All in all, not bad. I think I would have enjoyed this more had I not read it immediately after her other book, Girl, Wash Your Face. One after the other ended up being a bit much in terms of her voice, style, and, let's be honest, seemingly incessant tooting of her own horn. I get that that bit may have been necessary to give some context to some of the things she was saying, but seriously, we get it. You built a media empire. You fly first class. You have a full time housekeeper. YOU.ARE.AMAZING. So that got annoying after a while.
That said, some of the advice in the book was quite good, and there were a few sections with some words that really spoke to me. (Side note: I also felt like a lot of the advice and phrases were really common ideas that I've heard over and over. For example, can't remember if it was in this book or the other, but she included some version of the 'don't compare your middle to someone else's end' trope. It's not that I don't agree with the sentiment, but it just felt like sometimes she was just repeating some clichés.)
I did not work along with the book, meaning, when she talked through the 10:10:1 process for figuring out your dreams and establishing goals and mile markers, I did not do that process. But, I definitely had a dream in mind and it's something I'd like to do at some point. Of course, the fact that I wasn't revved up to do it immediately and on the spot makes me wonder how committed I am to that dream. Maybe the book wasn't quite enough for me to get off my butt and start working toward that dream. Hmm....
Looking forward to hearing what the rest of the book club thinks about this one.
"You are enough. Today. As you are. Stop beating yourself up for being on the beginning side of yet, no matter what age you are. Yet is your potential. Yet is a promise. Yet is what keeps you moving forward. Yet is a gift, and you are enough to get to the other side of it." (36)
"When a man wants to push himself in his career, his fitness, his faith, his education, or anything else, this is considered an asset. We want those kinds of people leading our businesses, our churches, or our governments. Ambitious people work to learn more, do more, grow more, and typically they create opportunities for the people around them to do the same. But that's not okay for a woman? What if she's not yet married? What if she's a single mom? Is it okay for her to try hard then, at least until she's got a man to take care of her? I hope you read the sarcasm in that last sentence, because the very idea makes my head want to explode!
We need to get past the idea that certain rules only apply to certain people at particular life stages. If it's not true for all of us, it shouldn't be true for any of us." (109)
In the chapter on confidence and judging other women:
"Your insecurity makes it so that anyone who is doing it differently than you is an indictment on all the ways you're not measuring up." (175)
"Just because you used to be a certain way doesn't mean you have to stay that way. Just because you feel insecure doesn't mean you can't make a change. If you don't like the way you look, if you don't love your personal style, then figure it out! Make an investment! And don't let anyone make you feel guilty about it." (175)
"This moment bidding my first Sundance job is always the best example I have to give when someone asks me about the idea of 'fake it 'til you make it.' I hate that phrase, because it implies you've got nothing else to back it up. There's a big difference between faking something that you have no idea how to do and having the confidence to step into a role that you don't have full training for yet.
There's a study that shows that when a man is considering a new job, he will apply for a position he feels he's at least 60 percent qualified for. His confidence tells him that he'll make up the other 40 percent by learning as he goes. By contrast, the same study shows that the average woman feels that she must be 100 percent qualified to apply for anything." (177)
"It means that you're going to have to lead your team with the wisdom and determination of a great coach instead of the blind acceptance of a great cheerleader." (208-209)
This was about doing hard things. I liked this quote because it made me think of being a teacher, and how that should be more like being a coach than a cheerleader. (Totally unrelated to the theme of the book, I know.) Yes, we should support and encourage our students, but sometimes I think that our students think that this is all we should do. But a good coach does not just tell an athlete that they are awesome and amazing and keep doing what you're doing. A good coach helps their athlete improve by making them do hard things, things that hurt, and things that don't come easily to them. And that's what makes the athlete (student) better.
That said, some of the advice in the book was quite good, and there were a few sections with some words that really spoke to me. (Side note: I also felt like a lot of the advice and phrases were really common ideas that I've heard over and over. For example, can't remember if it was in this book or the other, but she included some version of the 'don't compare your middle to someone else's end' trope. It's not that I don't agree with the sentiment, but it just felt like sometimes she was just repeating some clichés.)
I did not work along with the book, meaning, when she talked through the 10:10:1 process for figuring out your dreams and establishing goals and mile markers, I did not do that process. But, I definitely had a dream in mind and it's something I'd like to do at some point. Of course, the fact that I wasn't revved up to do it immediately and on the spot makes me wonder how committed I am to that dream. Maybe the book wasn't quite enough for me to get off my butt and start working toward that dream. Hmm....
Looking forward to hearing what the rest of the book club thinks about this one.
"You are enough. Today. As you are. Stop beating yourself up for being on the beginning side of yet, no matter what age you are. Yet is your potential. Yet is a promise. Yet is what keeps you moving forward. Yet is a gift, and you are enough to get to the other side of it." (36)
"When a man wants to push himself in his career, his fitness, his faith, his education, or anything else, this is considered an asset. We want those kinds of people leading our businesses, our churches, or our governments. Ambitious people work to learn more, do more, grow more, and typically they create opportunities for the people around them to do the same. But that's not okay for a woman? What if she's not yet married? What if she's a single mom? Is it okay for her to try hard then, at least until she's got a man to take care of her? I hope you read the sarcasm in that last sentence, because the very idea makes my head want to explode!
We need to get past the idea that certain rules only apply to certain people at particular life stages. If it's not true for all of us, it shouldn't be true for any of us." (109)
In the chapter on confidence and judging other women:
"Your insecurity makes it so that anyone who is doing it differently than you is an indictment on all the ways you're not measuring up." (175)
"Just because you used to be a certain way doesn't mean you have to stay that way. Just because you feel insecure doesn't mean you can't make a change. If you don't like the way you look, if you don't love your personal style, then figure it out! Make an investment! And don't let anyone make you feel guilty about it." (175)
"This moment bidding my first Sundance job is always the best example I have to give when someone asks me about the idea of 'fake it 'til you make it.' I hate that phrase, because it implies you've got nothing else to back it up. There's a big difference between faking something that you have no idea how to do and having the confidence to step into a role that you don't have full training for yet.
There's a study that shows that when a man is considering a new job, he will apply for a position he feels he's at least 60 percent qualified for. His confidence tells him that he'll make up the other 40 percent by learning as he goes. By contrast, the same study shows that the average woman feels that she must be 100 percent qualified to apply for anything." (177)
"It means that you're going to have to lead your team with the wisdom and determination of a great coach instead of the blind acceptance of a great cheerleader." (208-209)
This was about doing hard things. I liked this quote because it made me think of being a teacher, and how that should be more like being a coach than a cheerleader. (Totally unrelated to the theme of the book, I know.) Yes, we should support and encourage our students, but sometimes I think that our students think that this is all we should do. But a good coach does not just tell an athlete that they are awesome and amazing and keep doing what you're doing. A good coach helps their athlete improve by making them do hard things, things that hurt, and things that don't come easily to them. And that's what makes the athlete (student) better.
challenging
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
They say it takes 7 exposures to retain information, this book is bits of Made for more, pod casts and bits of live streams or visa versa. This is a good thing some might find it too repetitive, but I would argue not everyone follows ALL the writers platforms.
Personally enjoyed chapter 12, the reference to labyrinth, and a few other things that just talked to me.
Personally enjoyed chapter 12, the reference to labyrinth, and a few other things that just talked to me.
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
While her style, her obsession with fake lashes and hair extensions and breast implants and all that hip hop or whatever music and pop culture references and obsession with celebrities and Hollywood and parties is not my cuppa tea, I didn't buy the book for the author so much as for the content (NYT best seller blah blah, I thought I'd give it a chance.) hoping for inspiration and motivation.
Except in this book, you get the author's personality to the last detail, to the last drop and drip, so beware, especially in the Audible version. And she is in-your-face, obnoxious, crude, contradicts herself (she says don't apologize, the title of the book but then she says something terrible and she's going on and on: "I'm sorry but .." ... "Y'all, I'm sorry" ... weird! OR she's mocking the people in the cafe for wasting time on Instagram while she is obviously watching them instead of doing her work so she can have a story to tell, what was the point of all that? ) and most of all, she steals so much content, she steals so many quotes and sometimes she bothers to re-package them, often not even, and there is not a single reference to any of the work to others.
I'm an Iranian-American ex-corporate entrepreneur woman and while I'm not a mom and could anticipate not relating to a ton of mom-stuff, I still wanted to learn from Rachel. And my god she can be inspiring alright. There were moments and sections where I was really drawn in, where she really had me thinking and re-thinking my choices and my habits and my attitude, and as a coach and self-made woman myself, I am big into all of this. She had a way of giving me a kick in the pants that I appreciated.
But then her stuff would get in there.
One thing that I can't stand is when people repeat themselves. OK we heard the full boob story in the book. In the bonus section of the audiobook, it's a section of her Rise Conference, and we have to hear it yet again but she's saying it almost as if she's drunk! It was nauseating. OK so you got fake boobs. Yes, some will judge you for it, but you're okay with that and some won't. Can we move on to more important topics so you can help empower us? Or .... ?
There was a lot of GREAT stuff in this book but she kept using other people's content. I am not an editor, but I'm surprised they did not catch her for flat out plagiarism and forget that, why could she not be more authentic or original or at least credit others? She would put a hip pop culture spin on it and use it as if it were her own.
A lot of the examples about empowering you are around fitness, getting in shape because it's so easy (sorry it isn't and I'm highly motivated and not even a mom!), drinking more water (I was a little offended by that one but I'm a health nut so!) and getting fake boobs or fake lashes or both. She mixes that up with other stories like hitting NYT best-seller list and omg she didn't make it and she looked like a failure in front of everyone but then later she did make it.
Sigh. I lost touch with her a lot and her narration can be so obnoxious but not as obnoxious as her act on the stage, BUT she has her moments of great original inspiration and great kick in the pants ideas (although her 10-10-1 made-up plan still doesn't make sense to me!).
Anyway, I'm really glad I read this book. I'm giving it a 3-star. She's obviously a successful woman and helps a lot of people. But I can only take so much of her. I'm not sure what your style is, and if today's loud obnoxious get-out-of-my-way oh-wait-I-need-your-help I-ll-do-whatever-I-want woman role model speaks to you, then read this book.
Except in this book, you get the author's personality to the last detail, to the last drop and drip, so beware, especially in the Audible version. And she is in-your-face, obnoxious, crude, contradicts herself (she says don't apologize, the title of the book but then she says something terrible and she's going on and on: "I'm sorry but .." ... "Y'all, I'm sorry" ... weird! OR she's mocking the people in the cafe for wasting time on Instagram while she is obviously watching them instead of doing her work so she can have a story to tell, what was the point of all that? ) and most of all, she steals so much content, she steals so many quotes and sometimes she bothers to re-package them, often not even, and there is not a single reference to any of the work to others.
I'm an Iranian-American ex-corporate entrepreneur woman and while I'm not a mom and could anticipate not relating to a ton of mom-stuff, I still wanted to learn from Rachel. And my god she can be inspiring alright. There were moments and sections where I was really drawn in, where she really had me thinking and re-thinking my choices and my habits and my attitude, and as a coach and self-made woman myself, I am big into all of this. She had a way of giving me a kick in the pants that I appreciated.
But then her stuff would get in there.
One thing that I can't stand is when people repeat themselves. OK we heard the full boob story in the book. In the bonus section of the audiobook, it's a section of her Rise Conference, and we have to hear it yet again but she's saying it almost as if she's drunk! It was nauseating. OK so you got fake boobs. Yes, some will judge you for it, but you're okay with that and some won't. Can we move on to more important topics so you can help empower us? Or .... ?
There was a lot of GREAT stuff in this book but she kept using other people's content. I am not an editor, but I'm surprised they did not catch her for flat out plagiarism and forget that, why could she not be more authentic or original or at least credit others? She would put a hip pop culture spin on it and use it as if it were her own.
A lot of the examples about empowering you are around fitness, getting in shape because it's so easy (sorry it isn't and I'm highly motivated and not even a mom!), drinking more water (I was a little offended by that one but I'm a health nut so!) and getting fake boobs or fake lashes or both. She mixes that up with other stories like hitting NYT best-seller list and omg she didn't make it and she looked like a failure in front of everyone but then later she did make it.
Sigh. I lost touch with her a lot and her narration can be so obnoxious but not as obnoxious as her act on the stage, BUT she has her moments of great original inspiration and great kick in the pants ideas (although her 10-10-1 made-up plan still doesn't make sense to me!).
Anyway, I'm really glad I read this book. I'm giving it a 3-star. She's obviously a successful woman and helps a lot of people. But I can only take so much of her. I'm not sure what your style is, and if today's loud obnoxious get-out-of-my-way oh-wait-I-need-your-help I-ll-do-whatever-I-want woman role model speaks to you, then read this book.
Again, I really respond well to how Rachel shifts my perspective on certain topics. I really enjoyed this book and it fired me up! I know others have found issues with some of the content on this book, but I agree with Rachel on most things in here. She really lays it out quite simply how to set, and achieve your goals and how to dream bigger and level up!
This is not a book I would recommend to women of color.
informative
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
Rachel is super encouraging like usual! There's probably a good balance between women who are mothers and those of us who are happily child-free. Self-help books are always a little *woowoo* for me but I still like to seek motivation where I can. It was a fun book and I always appreciate Rachel's honesty.
I would say the biggest turn off for this book for me was her multiple references to multi-level marketing jobs. Direct sales companies are predatory and dishonest. It turned me off to hear her encouraging women who work for these companies that take such advantage of the employees.
I would say the biggest turn off for this book for me was her multiple references to multi-level marketing jobs. Direct sales companies are predatory and dishonest. It turned me off to hear her encouraging women who work for these companies that take such advantage of the employees.