Reviews tagging 'Panic attacks/disorders'

Luster by Raven Leilani

7 reviews

al_davies_jones's review

challenging dark emotional sad tense fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Alcoholism, Toxic relationship, Abortion, Police brutality, Pregnancy, Slavery, Animal death, Racism, Suicidal thoughts, Death of parent, Drug abuse, Emotional abuse, Alcohol, Gun violence, Infertility, Miscarriage, Panic attacks/disorders, Violence, Vomit, Mental illness, Medical content, Physical abuse, Blood, Infidelity, Addiction, Sexism, Sexual violence, Hate crime, Drug use, and Grief

novella42's review

challenging dark reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

I noticed this book at my library because of its gorgeous cover, and I took it home because I am polyamorous and the blurb mentioned "an open marriage—with rules."

I just need to say... Please don't take this book's depiction of non-monogamy as representative of how to do an ethically open marriage. Holy hell. I feel at a loss to list all the ways Edie and Eric and Rebecca torture each other needlessly. It's a fascinating train wreck to watch, and I found myself looking at my own polycule with renewed gratitude and affection. Leilani doesn't let any of the characters off the hook, and if a lot of their behaviors seem inexplicable to you, well, you won't be alone. 

As to the book itself, I appreciated the lyrical, almost psychadelic writing. (If you don't like pose poetry or stream-of-consciousness writing, maybe pass on this one.) Leilani revels in dark Millennial existential dread that kept shocking laughter out of me. She's fantastic at descriptive phrases that catch you off-guard with their originality. I marveled at some of them, their poetic pacing and expansive assumptions, so much I started collecting a list:

"I am suspended in a lurid hypnagogic loop."

"It is impossible to see another black woman on her way up, impossible to see that meticulous, polyglottal origami and not, as a black woman yourself, fall a little bit in love."

"A sudden and swiftly contained conniption."

"Hooked into peripheral intuition." 

"The city's breakneck, multilingual carousel."

"Some inconceivable boss-level of concentrated loneliness."

"The bike lanes in Manhattan already terrifying at 11:00 a.m., filled with delivery boys and girls who jet into traffic with fried rice and no reason to live, along with the sentient abdominals who do this for fun."

"The lawn buzzed and alkaline, the vinegar in the wine and carnage in the dew, everywhere the perfume of things that want to live."

I can't imagine what it's like to narrate this as an audiobook, because the rhythm of the words is beautiful and also relentless. Leilani is skilled at pulling you deep into the bewildering internal labyrinth of mental illness and immersive, uncomfortable experiences. 

If you carry any traumas, I recommend browsing the full list of content tags. I almost couldn't make it through the scenes with gore and body horror, though Edie's dissociative skills and the eye of an artist made it slightly more bearable. I'm glad I got it in hardcopy instead of audio, so I could skim over difficult dark passages. There were lots of those. I'm not sure why I kept reading, except that I was fascinated. It was hard to look away.

One last thing, a recommendation for anyone who likes disco. I genuinely think one reason I enjoyed this book as much as I did was that in the first 15 pages, Edie references her connection to Idris Muhammad's 1977 song "Could Heaven Ever Be Like This." On a whim, I made a Spotify station out of it and I have to say, it complimented the book and let me surrender to the undertow.

Beautiful writing about broken people living a surreal, twisted story.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Medical trauma, Physical abuse, Sexual content, Dysphoria, Gore, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Abortion, Addiction, Animal death, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Death, Infidelity, Injury/Injury detail, Racism, Cursing, Death of parent, Drug use, Chronic illness, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Blood, Body horror, Body shaming, Medical content, Miscarriage, Police brutality, Violence, Racial slurs, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Suicidal thoughts, and Toxic relationship

Moderate: Car accident, Gun violence, and Vomit

Minor: Rape, Cancer, Abandonment, Excrement, and Stalking

mekaylynn's review

challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Miscarriage, Racism, Racial slurs, Pregnancy, Physical abuse, Mental illness, Infidelity, Animal cruelty, and Animal death

Moderate: Alcohol, Blood, Injury/Injury detail, Vomit, Violence, Drug use, and Panic attacks/disorders

Minor: Infertility, Eating disorder, Suicide, Infidelity, Cursing, Slavery, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, and Sexual violence

thesawyerbean's review against another edition

challenging dark tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.75

The last third of this book saved it from getting a lower rating. While I can appreciate the poetry and extended metaphors in Leilani’s writing, I can’t help but feeling it comes across as rather constipated and convoluted in parts. I quite often found myself completely lost and having to reread to regather the thread of the prose.

The actual premise was intriguing - the commencing few chapters were not particularly enthralling, but the pace did pick up later on in the novel. The portrayal of nihilistic self-destructive sex was raw and ugly, knitted together in a web of nuanced discussions on race, sexuality, feminism and capitalism which I found very interesting and affecting. These are the parts that dragged this book up in its rating.

However, I overall found this to be quite a slog to get through. I powered through the final half in one sitting, and the concluding chapters were immaculately done. But in the end I wasn’t particularly enthralled or interested in Edie as a character.

I stand by my appreciation for Leilani’s prose, and I finish my review with this quote that I found powerful:

I am inclined to pray, but on principle, I don’t. God is not for women. He is for the fruit. He makes you want and he makes you wicked, and while you sleep, he plants a seed in your womb that will be born just to die.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Alcohol, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Gore, Infidelity, Racism, Sexism, Body shaming, Eating disorder, Miscarriage, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Blood, Fatphobia, Grief, Abortion, Injury/Injury detail, Medical content, Sexual content, Sexual harassment, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Panic attacks/disorders, Police brutality, Alcoholism, Animal death, Body horror, Cursing, Death, Death of parent, Domestic abuse, Medical trauma, Pregnancy, Racial slurs, Vomit, and Addiction

thewordsdevourer's review against another edition

challenging reflective medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes

3.0

i like this enough - chronicling a few significant months of a black woman in her twenties, luster is peppered througout w/ acerbic, stark observations abt race, sex, and class; the depiction of quarter-life crisis painful yet realistic; and nyc is both disgustingly and longingly familar here. the story is unsentimentally and detachedly told, w/ the gradual unraveling of edie's family backstory providing effective character context, and the moments of clarity are striking. 

overall, an interesting novel abt a peculiar marital and living arrangement that also deals w/ heady, uneasy issues.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Miscarriage, Police brutality, and Racism

Moderate: Death of parent, Suicide, and Sexual content

Minor: Abortion, Animal death, Death, Infertility, Panic attacks/disorders, and Racial slurs

chichio's review

emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

LOVE LOVE LOVED IT! Edie, the protagonist, is aggravatingly human which means that she’s flawed and continues to make decisions influenced by those flaws. It’s painful to watch her fall into the same mistakes over and over again because it’s literally an experience we all have and may, unfortunately, continue to go through. Left a massive impact on my emotions even after I closed it. 

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Miscarriage, Racism, and Medical content

Minor: Cursing, Injury/Injury detail, Panic attacks/disorders, and Suicidal thoughts

kitty03's review

challenging reflective slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Miscarriage and Panic attacks/disorders

Moderate: Alcoholism and Racism

Minor: Abortion and Animal death