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4.09 AVERAGE
4.09 AVERAGE
((this turned into more of a 'personal' review than a review-review...kind of weird, but it is what it is))
I read the vast majority of this book back in early June. I remember reading about Solomon's mother's experience with cancer and trying to imagine what it was like...little did I know that within 4 days of reading about his experience I would learn of my semi-estranged father's diagnosis of terminal lung cancer that had already spread to his brain, and within a few weeks of that diagnosis he would move in and stay until he passed 3 months later.
The intensity of that situation put a halt on my reading. I don't know why I've included this in my review, as I can't really figure out where I was going with it...but it seems to integral to my experience with the book. I only picked up the book once between that day I learned of his diagnosis and the day he passed 3.5 months later. It would've been easy to just abandon the book all-together. At this point more than 6 months have passed since I last *truly* engaged with the book. In some ways it's like a time portal. To go back and visit something that you were doing right before your life changed...it's a weird feeling, because in some ways it highlights how little has changed.
My bipolar disorder played a MASSIVE role in my experience with my father's illness/decline/death. Although he moved in I found myself disconnected from him- partially due to having not spoken to one another in the 6 months leading up to his diagnosis, partially due to our relationship always having been a bit unspokenly strained, and partially (largely) due to the fact that the stress of this situation combined with so much else caused me to go off medication and basically clock out. I took a leave of absence from work, thinking that would allow me to stabilize, but it probably just made things worse.
At this point my life has returned to normal. Aside from the addition of a few boxes of his stuff sitting in a spare room absolutely nothing is different today than it was the day before I learned of his diagnosis. And I find that weirdly unsettling. I know so much of that has to do with my illness and how I process life in general, as well as how fucked up I was during the actual experience- I was physically present for everything, but my brain was so fucked up that it just wasn't possible for much to penetrate.
And that, I suppose, is the essence of the book. That is depression. Life doesn't pause for your illness, and your illness won't pause for insane life situations. I appreciated the dozens of stories- some I related to deeply, others I couldn't even fathom, but all of them had so much value and insight.
This book kick-started a weird mental illness reading binge. It was strangely calming to read stuff that I identified with so deeply. It was as though every time I came across a line that I REALLY connected with I could feel some of the tension leave my body- tension that I didn't even realize was there. I've spent so much time ignoring my illness and trying to forget about it, keeping it boxed up and telling myself that I just need to take a pill and do my best to forget about everything else and play "normal"...but reading this book made me realize how much there is to gain by facing it. Not even fighting it or anything- just...just "being" with it, not wallowing in it, but surrounding myself with it, if that makes any sense.
In some ways I feel like I've been living as a foreigner and I've been forcing myself to speak the language of my new land. I can get by, but it's absolutely exhausting and I don't realize the toll it takes on me to expend that extra energy day in and day out. Reading this book was like traveling back to my home country and I was suddenly surrounded by people who spoke my native tongue. They could be talking about anything- the topic didn't matter- it was in a LANGUAGE that I understood without even having to think about it. I was surrounded by 'my people.' I feel like I identified more with people in this book who have DRASTICALLY different life experiences than I do, but share a similar experience with this illness, than I identify with people I've grown up with and shared all the typical milestones with.
This has far surpassed 'rambling' at this point, and isn't even a review of the book. I don't know what this is, and none of it is really connected, nor does it make much sense. Bottom line: this is such an important book. I think it's one a lot of people won't 'get' but for those of us who get it and need it, it's massive. Thank you Andrew Solomon for putting in so much work and for giving us so much of yourself.
I read the vast majority of this book back in early June. I remember reading about Solomon's mother's experience with cancer and trying to imagine what it was like...little did I know that within 4 days of reading about his experience I would learn of my semi-estranged father's diagnosis of terminal lung cancer that had already spread to his brain, and within a few weeks of that diagnosis he would move in and stay until he passed 3 months later.
The intensity of that situation put a halt on my reading. I don't know why I've included this in my review, as I can't really figure out where I was going with it...but it seems to integral to my experience with the book. I only picked up the book once between that day I learned of his diagnosis and the day he passed 3.5 months later. It would've been easy to just abandon the book all-together. At this point more than 6 months have passed since I last *truly* engaged with the book. In some ways it's like a time portal. To go back and visit something that you were doing right before your life changed...it's a weird feeling, because in some ways it highlights how little has changed.
My bipolar disorder played a MASSIVE role in my experience with my father's illness/decline/death. Although he moved in I found myself disconnected from him- partially due to having not spoken to one another in the 6 months leading up to his diagnosis, partially due to our relationship always having been a bit unspokenly strained, and partially (largely) due to the fact that the stress of this situation combined with so much else caused me to go off medication and basically clock out. I took a leave of absence from work, thinking that would allow me to stabilize, but it probably just made things worse.
At this point my life has returned to normal. Aside from the addition of a few boxes of his stuff sitting in a spare room absolutely nothing is different today than it was the day before I learned of his diagnosis. And I find that weirdly unsettling. I know so much of that has to do with my illness and how I process life in general, as well as how fucked up I was during the actual experience- I was physically present for everything, but my brain was so fucked up that it just wasn't possible for much to penetrate.
And that, I suppose, is the essence of the book. That is depression. Life doesn't pause for your illness, and your illness won't pause for insane life situations. I appreciated the dozens of stories- some I related to deeply, others I couldn't even fathom, but all of them had so much value and insight.
This book kick-started a weird mental illness reading binge. It was strangely calming to read stuff that I identified with so deeply. It was as though every time I came across a line that I REALLY connected with I could feel some of the tension leave my body- tension that I didn't even realize was there. I've spent so much time ignoring my illness and trying to forget about it, keeping it boxed up and telling myself that I just need to take a pill and do my best to forget about everything else and play "normal"...but reading this book made me realize how much there is to gain by facing it. Not even fighting it or anything- just...just "being" with it, not wallowing in it, but surrounding myself with it, if that makes any sense.
In some ways I feel like I've been living as a foreigner and I've been forcing myself to speak the language of my new land. I can get by, but it's absolutely exhausting and I don't realize the toll it takes on me to expend that extra energy day in and day out. Reading this book was like traveling back to my home country and I was suddenly surrounded by people who spoke my native tongue. They could be talking about anything- the topic didn't matter- it was in a LANGUAGE that I understood without even having to think about it. I was surrounded by 'my people.' I feel like I identified more with people in this book who have DRASTICALLY different life experiences than I do, but share a similar experience with this illness, than I identify with people I've grown up with and shared all the typical milestones with.
This has far surpassed 'rambling' at this point, and isn't even a review of the book. I don't know what this is, and none of it is really connected, nor does it make much sense. Bottom line: this is such an important book. I think it's one a lot of people won't 'get' but for those of us who get it and need it, it's massive. Thank you Andrew Solomon for putting in so much work and for giving us so much of yourself.
"Depression is the flaw in love." Andrew Solomon does an excellent job of trying to catalog depression and it many variants, through his own personal struggles with depression. He interviews multiple people in the book and share their stories.
This is the most comprehensive and well-researched book or article I’ve read on the various types of depression and anxiety. Incredibly thorough, and told through the use of personal accounts or relational research. This book also discusses many types of treatment, therapy and medication.
This is a heavy read. At times it is very tough to get through, especially if you or someone you know has experienced the subject matter. Highly educational, but very dark, so know that going in.
This is a heavy read. At times it is very tough to get through, especially if you or someone you know has experienced the subject matter. Highly educational, but very dark, so know that going in.
This book is phenomenal. The only reason I'm giving it 4 stars instead of 5 is because I wish that this abridged audio version had been longer!
It's hard to call this book excellent because it's so very very depressing. A stark, real look at depression and also so much history, politics and background on all the ways depression and race and poverty intersect. Eye opening and so very sad.
challenging
hopeful
informative
emotional
informative
reflective
slow-paced
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
sad
slow-paced
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
tense
slow-paced