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Reviews tagging 'Homophobia'
The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center by Rhaina Cohen
6 reviews
mfrisk's review against another edition
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
This book was incredibly meaningful to me as someone who values friendships being a core part of my life.
I loved getting to see all the different friendships and how they acted as core support systems for people in this book as well as the explanation of ways our current legal system and societal structures prioritizes one set relationship - that being married couples and largely white and wealthy heterosexual married couples who can take advantage of the benefits available to them solely due to to their marital status and the privilege of holding that status.
This quote in particular stood out to me:
I loved getting to see all the different friendships and how they acted as core support systems for people in this book as well as the explanation of ways our current legal system and societal structures prioritizes one set relationship - that being married couples and largely white and wealthy heterosexual married couples who can take advantage of the benefits available to them solely due to to their marital status and the privilege of holding that status.
This quote in particular stood out to me:
The expectations of modern romance risk narrowing the scope of our imaginations, making us believe that romantic relationships are our sole legitimate option, that we must find everything we need in one person, leaving little room to picture others as potential significant others.
Content Warnings
Minor: Homophobia, Grief, and Cancer
lovelymisanthrope's review against another edition
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
5.0
Second reread (June 2024): 5 Stars*
I stumbled across this on Libby and was immediately intrigued by the synopsis.
"The Other Significant Others" explores how friendships, although not treated with the same respect as romantic relationships, hold just as much, if not more value. The author interviews an array of people who share their lives and how they have placed friendship at the center of their social world.
I have long said how valuable friendships are, and how a "soulmate" does not have to be someone you are romantically involved with. This book really validated those ideas, and I was pleased to learn that historically speaking, friendships were often treated how we treat a romantic partner today. Marriage in the conventional sense is a newer idea, because throughout most of history people married to gain something. Because of this, people's true connections were often with their friends, which I think is absolutely beautiful. I think this is also something we should be thinking about today because it is unreasonable to think we can get everything we need from one person. Perhaps this type of pressure contributes to divorces.
I really detest the idea that someone will lead any less of a valuable life if they elect to not be in a romantic relationship. Humans are social creatures, and that does not have to be romantic social interactions. When we stop trying to follow what is deemed normal and we start to follow what feels right to us, we are happier overall. You get one life, and if you want to move into a big house with your friends and raise your children together, go for it!
This book also highlights how friendships are not treated the same as blood or marriage. For example, when one person is admitted into the hospital, and the nurses and doctors will not allow a friend to visit, only family. Some people have no family or are not close to their family. In a distressing time when they are hospitalized, they probably need someone there for them, and it is sad that a close friend cannot be granted those privileges.
I HIGHLY recommend this book to everyone!
I stumbled across this on Libby and was immediately intrigued by the synopsis.
"The Other Significant Others" explores how friendships, although not treated with the same respect as romantic relationships, hold just as much, if not more value. The author interviews an array of people who share their lives and how they have placed friendship at the center of their social world.
I have long said how valuable friendships are, and how a "soulmate" does not have to be someone you are romantically involved with. This book really validated those ideas, and I was pleased to learn that historically speaking, friendships were often treated how we treat a romantic partner today. Marriage in the conventional sense is a newer idea, because throughout most of history people married to gain something. Because of this, people's true connections were often with their friends, which I think is absolutely beautiful. I think this is also something we should be thinking about today because it is unreasonable to think we can get everything we need from one person. Perhaps this type of pressure contributes to divorces.
I really detest the idea that someone will lead any less of a valuable life if they elect to not be in a romantic relationship. Humans are social creatures, and that does not have to be romantic social interactions. When we stop trying to follow what is deemed normal and we start to follow what feels right to us, we are happier overall. You get one life, and if you want to move into a big house with your friends and raise your children together, go for it!
This book also highlights how friendships are not treated the same as blood or marriage. For example, when one person is admitted into the hospital, and the nurses and doctors will not allow a friend to visit, only family. Some people have no family or are not close to their family. In a distressing time when they are hospitalized, they probably need someone there for them, and it is sad that a close friend cannot be granted those privileges.
I HIGHLY recommend this book to everyone!
Content Warnings
Moderate: Death, Medical content, and Homophobia
katmystery's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
This challenges society's perception that life should be centered around a romantic relationship and, instead, illustrates how friendship can serve the same purpose. A person can build their life around a platonic partner or a group of friends, which often offers better support because it does not require someone to expect every emotional need to be fulfilled by just one person; romantic relationships are not inherently more important or powerful than platonic ones. Each chapter focuses on a different pair or group of friends. It was emotionally heavy to read, but I learned a lot, and it changed how I think about the close friends in my life.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Cancer, Child death, Suicide, and Homophobia
daryn's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cancer, Grief, and Death
Minor: Lesbophobia, Homophobia, and Acephobia/Arophobia
spuriousdiphthongs's review against another edition
informative
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
3.0
Some interesting food for thought, especially given where I am in life right now. I think folks in my queer book club would especially appreciate this. This wasn't the best written book and I frequently got names confused because there are a lot of different ones, but she brings up great points, including the fact that relationships like these are not covered in media, research, and general culture. I hope this is just the start of books on this topic. If you liked Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close and Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex, you'd probably be interested in this one too.
Content Warnings
Minor: Lesbophobia, Deadnaming, and Homophobia
torturedreadersdept's review
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Grief, Acephobia/Arophobia, Lesbophobia, Medical content, Abandonment, Infertility, Gaslighting, Cancer, Death, Dementia, Domestic abuse, Homophobia, and Toxic relationship
This was a great, really informative read. I have always been someone who really valued friendship above family, and often above romantic partnerships as well, so it was really interesting to read about multiple groups of people, some who lived with their close friends, some who prioritized their friendship and eschewed romantic relationships, some who became caregivers for each other… it was really inspiring and lovely, and a great reminder of the ways that deep connection can occur, whether people are dating or married or what. The book ends with an analysis of the types of needs these pairs or triads have and the legal and societal reforms that they would benefit from, and it was genuinely really thought-provoking as well as very heartfelt and well-researched.
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