Scan barcode
Reviews tagging 'Rape'
Be Not Afraid of Love: Lessons on Fear, Intimacy, and Connection by Mimi Zhu
16 reviews
decaying's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
5.0
Love exist as a constant in our lives. That, I can say with certainty. It exists in the relationships that we forge. The way we care for ourselves. It exists plastered in heart-shaped boxes of chocolates that seems to always fill the grocery aisles, looming throughout the dreaded month of February. Love is everywhere.
As someone who exists within the aromantic spectrum, I always have a never-ending crave to learn, explore, and understand what love is. It is always something that felt like I’m always on the cusp of understanding it, but never wholly. My understanding and relationship with love always felt fragmented. Like, I don’t believe anyone truly understand what love is nor any of us have any clue what we’re doing. Do we truly understand what love is? Is there a definitive meaning to it?
In many ways, Mimi Zhu’s “Be Not Afraid of Love” gave me a reassurance. It offers an understanding of love that is constantly expanding, with no means of an end nor a fixed shape. Love that transforms and transcends. There’s no definitiveness of what love is and that’s the most gracious thing about it; that we can find love in anything and everything. And I find that incredibly liberating. The book echoes familiar concepts and ideas from bell hooks’s “All About Love” that I find it difficult to separate the two. While hooks’s book suggests that we ought to look at love a little closer, Zhu’s book lets us know the different ways we can nurture and nourish it. The two complement each other incredibly well in that way.
In this book, Zhu spoke not only of her difficult experiences with past relationships. She also expanded on the various systemic issues that contributes to our convoluted and unfortunately, dysfunctional relationship with love. Her exploration is brimming with empathy and it’s difficult to not be swayed by the poignancy of her storytelling. It offered a level of consideration and understanding of the complicated ways people can be, but without at the expense of our well-being.
I really loved how Zhu tells her stories. The best way that I can describe her writing is that it is lovely. It’s hard to not think of love while I flicked through one chapter after the other. It has really expanded on my understanding on love with a spiritual perspective that I rarely ever considered. This book left me awestruck. This book tells me that there’s an endless possibility to love and there’s always room for me to be more loving in my life.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Physical abuse, Toxic relationship, Grief, and Emotional abuse
Moderate: Misogyny, Racism, Rape, and Colonisation
Minor: Classism
cojiberries's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
3.75
Content Warnings
Moderate: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Grief, Misogyny, Racial slurs, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, and Toxic relationship
imcourtneymarie's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
medium-paced
4.5
When I say be not afraid of love, I do not mean that we should rid ourselves of fear, but that we should sit with our fear, and learn to love it, too. I love my entire embodied being. Instead of pointing a trembling finger at love, I look closely and gently at my fear. I love myself the fulness of my feelings and I do not push myself away when difficult emotions arise… love reveals the truth to us because love is the truth. To be committed to love is to be committed to the infinite life of change.
There are a great many quotes I could pull from this book that made me weep or my heart sing. There were chapters where I felt the immediate sting of “hey, me too…”.
While Mimi’s story about abusive X and finding her ability to accept and feel love(d) again, if you’ve ever felt abused or neglected or unloved by anyone that’s “supposed to” love you, you may find strength and closure in Be Not Afraid Of Love. My X is familial and I found myself breathing along and internalizing much of what she said. Chapter 9 about miracles (not just of the religious kind) struck a particular chord.
I’m very glad I picked this one up. Can’t wait to share it with my therapist 🤪
Content Warnings
Graphic: Rape and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Sexual violence, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, and Sexual assault
Minor: Classism and Colonisation
donutlookaway's review
challenging
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
this book cracked me wide open and i know i’ll be returning to it for a long time.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault, Violence, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, and Physical abuse
Moderate: Rape
noahee's review
emotional
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Injury/Injury detail, Physical abuse, Sexual violence, Rape, and Sexual assault
madelynemae's review
adventurous
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
relaxing
medium-paced
5.0
I truly loved the perspective of this book. An assembly of many of my favorite texts layered over into/a beautiful memoir of healing & growth.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Misogyny, Sexual assault, Emotional abuse, Injury/Injury detail, Physical abuse, Violence, and Toxic relationship
Minor: Racism, Rape, Sexual violence, and Sexual assault
More...