Reviews tagging 'Sexual assault'

Be Not Afraid of Love: Lessons on Fear, Intimacy, and Connection by Mimi Zhu

24 reviews

k_a_i's review against another edition

emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

3.0

I really enjoyed Mimi's reflections and comparisons between the themes they were writing on and nature - that was some of my favorite writing! I feel like anything that had to do with their personal reflections really had me hooked and kept me going. I do feel that at moments it did feel like reading a school easy / there were so many references which I understand and appreciate but sometimes so many at once that it was distracting. I really appreciate anyone who is willing to share such vulnerable lessons and moments in life and can tell they are very intentional! Took me a long time to read this because when some moments really applied, I needed a sec to digest / absorb 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Physical abuse, Rape, Stalking, Domestic abuse, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, and Toxic relationship

siebensommer's review against another edition

challenging hopeful inspiring reflective

4.5

i refuse to believe that we are doomed, because our collective anxiety shows that we care. i refuse to succumb to despair, because our worry shows me that we longer wish to be controlled. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Rape, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Domestic abuse, Sexual assault, Toxic relationship, and Emotional abuse

Moderate: Racism, Xenophobia, and Physical abuse

Minor: Ableism, Transphobia, and Homophobia

jennnm's review

challenging emotional hopeful inspiring reflective medium-paced

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse

Moderate: Sexual assault

kostopoulos2000's review

emotional hopeful reflective fast-paced

3.75

sometimes the writing style made the book feel like a really long tweet but considering I snot-nosed sobbed thru the last two chapters that criticism feels mundane

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Rape, Domestic abuse, Abandonment, Physical abuse, and Sexual assault

cuartolimon's review

challenging dark emotional hopeful reflective fast-paced

4.0

I enjoyed the book and it provided a lot of insight into the grieving process of abusive relationships and the homecoming of self love. At times I found it too kooky for my taste, especially when the author would draw comparisons between humans and plants. I appreciate that this may have to do with the fact that I’m not a very spiritual person myself.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexual assault, Emotional abuse, Sexual violence, and Toxic relationship

Moderate: Racial slurs

strangerfig's review

emotional inspiring reflective slow-paced

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Toxic relationship, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Domestic abuse, Injury/Injury detail, Physical abuse, and Rape

samjunipero's review

emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

5.0

This book is really what my heart needed at this point in my life. I'm on a healing journey from my CPTSD. I can already tell this book has altered my thinking on intimacy, love, and connection. It's tender and powerful, and I know I will be thinking about the things Mimi Zhu spoke about in here for a long time.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Emotional abuse, Domestic abuse, Sexual assault, and Grief

essie__reads's review against another edition

emotional informative inspiring sad tense slow-paced

5.0

This contains SPOILERS!!!
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I honestly feel like I need to reread this in physical format to really digest and unpack everything she touches on! I listened to the audio, and her voice was extremely soothing, which I loved. I also loved that she takes a few deep breaths at the end of each chapter (not gonna lie, I started taking them with her and it was very calming).

The author mentions frequently her ex, referred to as "X", and describes the evolution of their toxic relationship and his emotional, physical, and sexual abuse towards her. So please be aware of content warnings because this can be heavy content! She also acknowledges her privileges and touches on the ways abused women in society, including disabled and trans women of color, often have less resources available to aid them in escaping abusers and aid them through their healing. She also touched on how abuse can be cyclical, making it difficult for the victims to leave those toxic relationships, and how abusers were often abused themselves too (although noting that is not an excuse to continue these harmful and generational cycles). 

There was seriously so much touched on throughout this- because healing from abuse and learning to love oneself again requires so much emotional and spiritual growth. She touches on grief, anger, fears, feelings of being labled a victim, society's pressure for victims, generational trauma, diaspora, self love, forgiveness, religion, non-Western techniques/therapies for healing emotionally and spiritually, ptsd, community/friendship, abolitionism and it's lasting effects, the prison systems, allyship, etc. And breaks down all the nuances and connections between these experiences/ideas/emotions. All of this is done through the lense of her own experiences as a queer Chinese-Australian person, too. 

I definitely recommend this to anyone with generational trauma- even if your trauma is not identical to the author's, there is still so much that can be learned and applied to your own experiences. I personally, really enjoyed her thoughts on anxiety, grief, anger. Honestly there wasn't a chapter of this book that I didn't find meaningful and impactful. I will likely be thinking of her words for a while to come. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Toxic relationship, Sexual assault, Domestic abuse, Violence, Emotional abuse, and Sexual violence

Moderate: Misogyny, Injury/Injury detail, Rape, Racial slurs, Physical abuse, and Drug use

Minor: Grief and Panic attacks/disorders

afropxks's review

challenging hopeful informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

5.0

all about love’s little sibling!!

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Sexual assault, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, and Emotional abuse

Moderate: Xenophobia, Panic attacks/disorders, Stalking, and Racism

mromie's review

challenging emotional informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

5.0

In the vein of bell hooks, Mimi Zhu shines with one of the most moving and holistic memoirs about love. Zhu brings bell hooks’ “All About Love” to the language of today. Zhu’sraw vulnerability seeps through the pages. Zhu uses an intersectional and radical lens to talk about love on so many distinct yet interwoven layers: from self-love and healing, interdependency and the collective, processing grief - anger - and numbness as part and parcel to love, and many more. I find myself taking so many notes and hope to revisit this book. 

“In the Tibetan Book of the Dead, I learned that death is not an ending but a transfer of energy. As our tears send spirits to the afterlife, their energy is transmuted to new life. Our grief transforms too into an energy of love”

“These spaces are not pure; they are messy, complicated, hurtful, healing, and changing. The more we ostracize them, the more shame is created within us”

“Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously” 

“God is found in our capacity to love one another. When I remember this, I am moved by my existence, and yours” 

“Healing is not a path that leads to heavenly destination. Instead, it’s a path that brings me back to my wholeness. And it is a path that never ends… into an ongoing journey of gratitude, nurturance, and curiosity”

“The healthiest loving choices require us to unlearn the violent ideas of romance we have been conditioned to crave. When we choose to be in a relationship with another person, we are choosing to connect our sacred sources of love…choosing to act towards each other in ways that are kind, respectful, affectionate, and without the need for domination, ownership, and control” 
 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Biphobia, Gaslighting, Racial slurs, Toxic relationship, Physical abuse, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, and Violence

Moderate: Classism and Colonisation