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3.69 AVERAGE
3.69 AVERAGE
reflective
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
No
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Weird details included that distracted from the narrative, a bit odd and scattered overall
challenging
funny
reflective
slow-paced
emotional
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Loveable characters:
Yes
this resonated so strongly with me and in such interesting ways because I have wrestled so many angels myself and made almost entirely opposite decisions. the struggle laid out here felt so deeply familiar. if I could go out for a tea with one author tomorrow it would be Sheila Heti. I have so many things I wish I could talk to her about!
emotional
reflective
tense
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
N/A
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
challenging
emotional
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
This book takes place over a number of years throughout which the author is grappling with the decision whether or not to have a child. Sheila Heti's writing is beautiful and very enjoyable throughout this book. However, it seemed that she made her decision very early on in the book and was very clear about her reasons for this. The rest of the book felt redundant and like she kept re-iterating the same point. I enjoyed some of the chapters where she discussed her relationship with her mother and her family history. The rest of it just went on for too long.
reflective
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
“Is there anything more important for a woman to do than mother? I know a woman who refuses to mother, refuses to do the most important thing, and therefore becomes the least important woman. Yet the mothers aren’t important, either. None of us are important.”
“But that was the great freedom, that I didn’t give a fuck. I cannot give a fuck more than I already do. I feel it would be the end of me. Having children is nice. What a great victory to be not nice. The nicest thing to give the world is a child. Do I ever want to be that nice?”
“There is no inherit good in being born.”
“It would be offensive to suggest, not to mention stupid. It’s only straight couples people have these feelings about - how empty their lives must be. No, actually, it’s not even the man - people look at him like got away with something. It’s just the woman - the woman who doesn’t have a child is looked at with the same aversion and reproach as a grown man who doesn’t have a job. Like she has something to apologize for. Like she’s not entitled to pride.”
“When Nicola learned that I was thinking about having a child, she said, You should go and spend some time with people who do have children, watch them and see what it’s like. I thought, I don’t even want to spend one second doing that.”
“Sometimes I think that in not wanting children, I’m preparing for my old age. I know what I want my old age to look like more than I know almost anything else: a simple home, a simple life, no one needing me for anything, and not needing anyone the way I do now. If a person has children, there is worry till death. Or jealousy over their young lives - someone to compare yourself to. As my mother once said to me, about me, No one else makes me feel so old.”
“Living one way is not a criticism of every other way of living. Is that the threat of a woman without kids? […] One person’s life is not a political or general statement about how all lives should be. Other lives should be able to exist alongside our own without any threat or judgement at all.”
“But that was the great freedom, that I didn’t give a fuck. I cannot give a fuck more than I already do. I feel it would be the end of me. Having children is nice. What a great victory to be not nice. The nicest thing to give the world is a child. Do I ever want to be that nice?”
“There is no inherit good in being born.”
“It would be offensive to suggest, not to mention stupid. It’s only straight couples people have these feelings about - how empty their lives must be. No, actually, it’s not even the man - people look at him like got away with something. It’s just the woman - the woman who doesn’t have a child is looked at with the same aversion and reproach as a grown man who doesn’t have a job. Like she has something to apologize for. Like she’s not entitled to pride.”
“When Nicola learned that I was thinking about having a child, she said, You should go and spend some time with people who do have children, watch them and see what it’s like. I thought, I don’t even want to spend one second doing that.”
“Sometimes I think that in not wanting children, I’m preparing for my old age. I know what I want my old age to look like more than I know almost anything else: a simple home, a simple life, no one needing me for anything, and not needing anyone the way I do now. If a person has children, there is worry till death. Or jealousy over their young lives - someone to compare yourself to. As my mother once said to me, about me, No one else makes me feel so old.”
“Living one way is not a criticism of every other way of living. Is that the threat of a woman without kids? […] One person’s life is not a political or general statement about how all lives should be. Other lives should be able to exist alongside our own without any threat or judgement at all.”
Adding another book on motherhood to my collection. Yay!
Perhaps this isn't that bad but i have read so many great works on this topic it’s now almost impossible to be impressed by anything.
The premise here is that Heti is in her late 30s and is trying to decide whether she wants to have kids or not. To me it was clear that she didn't so I couldn't find her musings that interesting. I would’ve appreciated the book more if she was genuinely torn between the two. Also, the coin tossing got on my nerves after a while and although I usually don’t mind books of this nature being too self-involved, this one felt a bit insufferable.
Perhaps this isn't that bad but i have read so many great works on this topic it’s now almost impossible to be impressed by anything.
The premise here is that Heti is in her late 30s and is trying to decide whether she wants to have kids or not. To me it was clear that she didn't so I couldn't find her musings that interesting. I would’ve appreciated the book more if she was genuinely torn between the two. Also, the coin tossing got on my nerves after a while and although I usually don’t mind books of this nature being too self-involved, this one felt a bit insufferable.