Scan barcode
borireads's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
Graphic: Child abuse, Mental illness, Rape, Sexual assault, Suicide, Gaslighting, and Sexual harassment
Moderate: Bullying
Minor: Death of parent
smbrady15's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.5
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Bullying, Child abuse, Cursing, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, and Gaslighting
hanhantap's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
My Dark V'anessa is an unraveling of long-hidden truths contrasted against the background of the #MeToo movement (which was brilliant of the author). It follows Vanessa slowly coming to terms with the fact that she was groomed and abused by her English teacher, Jacob Strane. Think of Lolita growing up and realizing that what happened was not love but an abuse of power. Strane gaslights Vanessa from the time that she is 15 to when she is in her thirties, trying to convince her that what he did to her was not by his choice, but by hers, that she had the power, that she could have stopped it whenever she wanted to.
The line that sticks out to me the most is during one of Vanessa's therapy sessions when she tells her therapist: "I just really need it to be a love story. You know? I really, really need it to be that{...} It’s my life. This has been my whole life.”
It was at this point when I had to put the book down and take an internal look at myself. While I have never been in Vanessa's shoes, I am a former Ezria shipper. "Ezria" meaning the relationship between Ezra Fitz and Aria Montgomery in Pretty Little Liars. Warning: I am about to spoil one of the major plot points of the show.
Like Strane, Ezra is Aria's English teacher, although he is fresh out of college and does not meet Aria in the classroom. Aria, a 16-year-old student, is a lot like Vanessa: stubborn, precocious, and 'mature for her age.' Ezra and Aria's relationship was painted as a forbidden romance. In the books, the pair is caught, Ezra is arrested, and then he leaves the town of Rosewood. Meanwhile, the show keeps Ezra around and has the couple be married by the end of the show, despite the fact that it was revealed in season 4 of the show that Ezra knew who Aria was when they met (including her age), knowingly deceived her, and had previously been in a relationship with her friend Alison when Ali was 14/15.
As a diehard supporter of the 'ship for four years at the point of this revelation, I was heartbroken, furious, and started to unravel the romanticization versus the reality of what this relationship was. It messed me up for years, causing me to lose friendships, my online community which I had helped cultivate and grow. I felt disgusted about what this 'ship had become and what I supported and defended for years. I needed it to be a love story, because if it wasn't, then what had I spent four years of my life making content about?
While I realize that it is not the same thing as young people who are literally abused and manipulated by adults in their lives, I was, in a way, groomed to believe that a relationship that Ezra and Aria's was healthy and romantic, full of passion and the star-crossed lovers trope. I was 14 when the show premiered in 2010. This put me in danger of falling for someone in a similar way to Vanessa and Aria because I had this idea in my head that I was not like the other girls, I was mature for my age, I would be able to take care of myself. When in reality, I was a child, vulnerable to the perverted desires of certain adults. It terrifies me to think about the what-ifs.
It is no coincidence to me that some of my friends from the fandom ended up in abusive and coercive relationships. It is common to see online that young people (especially teenage girls) are groomed and abused by (mostly) adult men in their late twenties, if not in their thirties or forties. Even in my own life, I watched as a teacher in my high school resigned due to an inappropriate relationship with a student. While I never trusted this man and always got a bad vibe from him, it was the worst way to learn that I had been right.
At the same time, a leader at my church was outed as a predator and forced to leave, while we were told it was due to attendance in the youth program. This was someone I looked up to and trusted, who helped me during some of the most difficult times in my life, someone who I went on cross-country mission trips with. I left the church partly because of their ousting from the congregation, putting them on a pedestal. I still have them in my network on LinkedIn, because there is part of me that wants to believe the lie that they left due to bad performance, rather than the facts at hand.
Reading My Dark Vanessa took me back to that space of wanting to believe that a relationship (while fictional) was a love story, that someone in my life was not what I thought them to be. Like Vanessa, it took me growing up and looking back at this period in my life without rose-colored glasses and realizing the ugly truth. This novel was a beautiful and painful mess that will stay with me for a long time.
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, and Sexual harassment
Moderate: Alcoholism, Death, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Grief, and Suicide attempt
Minor: Bullying and Death of parent
amsswim's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
As a someone who has experienced different kinds of abuse and trauma, I very much related with many themes. I would recommend looking through warnings and triggers contained here if you'd like to read, some themes may be upsetting for other survivors of similar experiences. I recommend to all however.
Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Bullying, Child abuse, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Misogyny, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Violence, Grief, Stalking, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, and Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Body shaming, Bullying, Cursing, Death, Drug use, Infidelity, Grief, Death of parent, Injury/Injury detail, and Classism
Minor: Body shaming, Drug abuse, Drug use, Blood, Vomit, Death of parent, and Classism
coffeekitaab's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Bullying, Child abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Gaslighting, and Alcohol
Minor: Animal cruelty, Grief, Death of parent, and Injury/Injury detail
korolevakotykiv's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, and Grief
Minor: Addiction, Animal cruelty, Bullying, Drug use, Death of parent, Alcohol, and Classism
orndal's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
But then again, who doesn't think they're superior at 15? and isn't that exactly what allows Strane to prey on her?
After the abuse she falls apart, yet she struggles to accept that Strane has any responsibility, because she doesn't want to be seen as a victim. Again, rather relatable, though it's incredibly infuriating.
Sadly though, it's just not well written. It doesn't flow well, the language doesn't really add up - i especially noticed a few "difficult" words just being thrown in wherever, but they don't really fit. But then again, that might be Vanessa's fault, as it's told in first person perspective. (which honestly limits how good a book can be, in my opinion.)
Thing is, the themes in this book are very grown up, there's an underlying need for political and intellectual awareness (lolita references aside), but the book itself is in no way shape or form written for an adult, so who is this really for??
Graphic: Pedophilia, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Stalking, Toxic friendship, and Sexual harassment
Moderate: Adult/minor relationship, Animal death, Body shaming, Bullying, and Child abuse
Minor: Cancer, Violence, and Vomit
mme_carton's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Animal death, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Cursing, Death, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Infidelity, Mental illness, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Vomit, Grief, Stalking, Death of parent, Alcohol, and Sexual harassment
bi_n_large's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Rape, Sexual assault, Toxic relationship, Toxic friendship, and Sexual harassment
Moderate: Alcoholism, Bullying, Drug abuse, Mental illness, and Suicide
Minor: Suicidal thoughts
zbookishgirl's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
The book itself was so good, but I also had so many problems with the characters.
Obviously, Strane was just a motherfucker who deserved to go to jail the first time around. The fact that he basically got caught multiple times but always got away with everything just annoyed the heck out of me. I wanted to jump into the pages and beat him up. He annoyed the shit out of me and I wish there was justice for everything that he did.
Not many people are talking about what happened with Vanessa and Henry Plough. I know that there wasn't really much that happened between the two of them, but there was just something off about him. He was basically kind of doing the same things as Strane, but it didn't get as far because she stopped it before it escalated.
Vanessa herself was a very complicated character. I know she is a survivor of something traumatic, though she herself didn't believe it. She just really annoyed me at times and I wanted to just SMACK some sense into her.
Even when he would say stuff like, "I just want to make sure there aren't any stray fires that need putting out." Like that line right there is a MAJOR RED FLAG!!
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Bullying, Child abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Hate crime, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Grief, Death of parent, Gaslighting, and Sexual harassment