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jinmichae's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
inspiring
sad
medium-paced
5.0
Such an important book.
The overall theme is how this murder was linked inexorably to the society in which it occurred. And yet, Western attitudes and media aren't blameless here either: women and girls having their lives controlled, and being punished for perceived wrongs, are unfortunately universal experiences. This narrative of deadly blame is woven throughout the story of Qandeel's life, beginning with how even as a young girl, she was punished for dancing.
Though many try to cast blame on Qandeel for her own murder, the author makes it clear that this attitude is what caused her death, and not any of her actions. If men are the audience for provocative content, why is it always the woman who is blamed? No one--not journalist, nor Facebook commenter, nor religious leader--has the right to tell women what to do or punish them for their actions. Hopefully with the spreading of stories like this one, more laws and attitudes can change.
The overall theme is how this murder was linked inexorably to the society in which it occurred. And yet, Western attitudes and media aren't blameless here either: women and girls having their lives controlled, and being punished for perceived wrongs, are unfortunately universal experiences. This narrative of deadly blame is woven throughout the story of Qandeel's life, beginning with how even as a young girl, she was punished for dancing.
Though many try to cast blame on Qandeel for her own murder, the author makes it clear that this attitude is what caused her death, and not any of her actions. If men are the audience for provocative content, why is it always the woman who is blamed? No one--not journalist, nor Facebook commenter, nor religious leader--has the right to tell women what to do or punish them for their actions. Hopefully with the spreading of stories like this one, more laws and attitudes can change.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body shaming, Death, Misogyny, Religious bigotry, Violence, Murder, Sexism, and Bullying
Moderate: Sexual violence, Stalking, Domestic abuse, Gaslighting, Suicide, Grief, and Physical abuse
Minor: Pregnancy, Child abuse, Cursing, Torture, and Xenophobia
_askthebookbug's review against another edition
4.0
// A Woman Like Her by Sanam Maher
The first time I learnt about honor killing was when I watched a Bollywood film named NH10. The brutal murder of a couple from the film shocked me to the core. Although the film was fictional, the theme is something very deeply rooted in our society. A girl is respected as long as her honor is intact. And honor is defined differently in such communities. Couple of years later when I started reading non-fiction, I discovered a horrifying world in which these killings were very much real. And recently, when I picked up Maher's account of Qandeel's life, I was again left heartbroken. Again, I was left angry.
In 2016, a Pakistani social media celebrity and model was found murdered at her home. It didn't take long for the killer to come into the picture. It was Qandeel's younger brother Waseem who lived a comfortable life because of her earnings. Qandeel was an eccentric woman with a nonsense attitude who challenged religious norms and politicians for their patriarchal nature. Coming from a village, Qandeel made a name of her own that still reverberates across the globe. For a very long time, she shared a love hate relationship with the public. They loved to watch her but hated her for being so openly challenging. For the men in Pakistan, this was something unheard of. They couldn't understand why and how Qandeel was this confident.
Maher explores the gender norms in Pakistan along with the model business to give us a clear picture of Qandeel's death. The details are intricately woven, sometimes even painfully slow to keep a track of. But Maher does manage to put forth her intention for penning this book. Qandeel's life is similar to that of millions of women who try to step out of the circle drawn by men. She was a feminist and didn't buckle in the face of powerful authorities. But all this came at a price. This culture of honor killing is still in practice in many countries and often the law stands no chance in protecting the women.
Maher's book is powerful much like Qandeel herself was. Right after reading the book, I watched a BBC documentary featuring this fantastic woman who refused to give up until the very end.
The first time I learnt about honor killing was when I watched a Bollywood film named NH10. The brutal murder of a couple from the film shocked me to the core. Although the film was fictional, the theme is something very deeply rooted in our society. A girl is respected as long as her honor is intact. And honor is defined differently in such communities. Couple of years later when I started reading non-fiction, I discovered a horrifying world in which these killings were very much real. And recently, when I picked up Maher's account of Qandeel's life, I was again left heartbroken. Again, I was left angry.
In 2016, a Pakistani social media celebrity and model was found murdered at her home. It didn't take long for the killer to come into the picture. It was Qandeel's younger brother Waseem who lived a comfortable life because of her earnings. Qandeel was an eccentric woman with a nonsense attitude who challenged religious norms and politicians for their patriarchal nature. Coming from a village, Qandeel made a name of her own that still reverberates across the globe. For a very long time, she shared a love hate relationship with the public. They loved to watch her but hated her for being so openly challenging. For the men in Pakistan, this was something unheard of. They couldn't understand why and how Qandeel was this confident.
Maher explores the gender norms in Pakistan along with the model business to give us a clear picture of Qandeel's death. The details are intricately woven, sometimes even painfully slow to keep a track of. But Maher does manage to put forth her intention for penning this book. Qandeel's life is similar to that of millions of women who try to step out of the circle drawn by men. She was a feminist and didn't buckle in the face of powerful authorities. But all this came at a price. This culture of honor killing is still in practice in many countries and often the law stands no chance in protecting the women.
Maher's book is powerful much like Qandeel herself was. Right after reading the book, I watched a BBC documentary featuring this fantastic woman who refused to give up until the very end.
cakesaretasty3's review against another edition
4.0
Being a fan of Qandeel and what she was trying to do (which in my opinion was far more than being 'Pakistan's Kim Kardashian' - as this book makes clear), I had to read this book. It wasn't a disappointment: it's well researched with the journalist travelling to all corners of Qandeel's life and spending a lot of time in her home village, and clearly paints the complex story behind her honour killing without bias.
I took a star off because I felt the long chapter 'After QB it will be ND' was slightly off topic. Although relevant, I personally felt it strayed too far from Qandeel's life and legacy. Although that's a subjective opinion, and many people may have 'got it' more than I did. The Epilogue was particularly well-written and a fitting end to a book that had to be written.
I took a star off because I felt the long chapter 'After QB it will be ND' was slightly off topic. Although relevant, I personally felt it strayed too far from Qandeel's life and legacy. Although that's a subjective opinion, and many people may have 'got it' more than I did. The Epilogue was particularly well-written and a fitting end to a book that had to be written.
casira's review against another edition
challenging
dark
informative
reflective
sad
slow-paced
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body shaming, Death, Injury/Injury detail, Murder, Violence, Emotional abuse, Genocide, Sexual harassment, Toxic relationship, Misogyny, Sexual assault, Suicide, Domestic abuse, Hate crime, Physical abuse, Religious bigotry, Sexism, and Sexual violence
Moderate: Fatphobia, Child death, Sexual content, Stalking, Child abuse, Slavery, and Gun violence
feebeecamille's review against another edition
4.0
Fascinating read about an honor killing of a social media star in Pakistan.
not_always_hope's review against another edition
3.0
I was surprised to find a lot of this book wasn’t actually about Qandeel but went into detail about other people in her life or journalists or police officers. I didn’t mind this at all and found a lot of to be really interesting, it gave a lot of context to the situation and also taught me a lot of stuff I didn’t know. However I think these sections could have done with a lot of editing- some of it was really unnecessary and just didn’t feel relevant