Reviews with content warning for Outing - Der Liebhaber meines Mannes

Yes, Harry Styles made me read this. I will not be taking critiques at this time.

This book tells the story of Marion, Tom, & Patrick. Tom is a young police officer that Patrick and Marion are both in love with - she as his wife, and he, as his lover in a time where it was illegal to be gay in the UK. The tale unravels from Marion and Patrick's perspectives in dual timelines and as the reader you come to see that no one in this book is an innocent - they each have their pain and they each inflict pain on each other in different ways, and it's often extremely sad to read, but the humanity and messiness of these characters are what made this book so readable and engaging to me, so that was the main thing I liked about it. The writing, too, I thought was gorgeous.

Some issues I had - I don't mind an age gap in a relationship as long as it's ethical as well as legal. Tom and Patrick's age gap itself didn't bother me, but I often felt a little grossed out by the way Patrick was always referencing Tom's youth, his boyishness. It felt....eeeehhh, weird. Didn't love that.

Other than that, I just have this feeling that there was something missing for me during this book. I can't figure out what it was exactly, and if I figure it out, I'll gladly post an update, but whatever it was, it left me feeling that I couldn't give this above a 3 even though I did enjoy it for the most part.

Content Warnings

mallory10100's review against another edition

Go to review page

challenging emotional reflective relaxing sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.75

i enjoyed this. i wish we got Tom’s perspective and less of Marion’s.

Content Warnings

maddysbooks_'s review against another edition

Go to review page

emotional reflective slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

i had a very hard time getting through this book. it starts off very slow and i think there was too much inner monologue and not enough of plot to keep me interested.
i did enjoy the idea of the book and seeing the perspective of both the wife and the lover and how they’re both shown as almost unreliable narrators.
i also thought it was interesting how we never got to see tom’s perspective and how you’re only able to see what he’s going through through the eyes of others around him.
it was a good book, it just got to be a little slow at times.

Content Warnings

serendipitysbooks's review against another edition

Go to review page

emotional reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Most of June was fairly hectic but life has now returned to normal and that means I’ve again got the time and mental capacity for my favourite genre - literary fiction. Hurrah!

My first pick was a superb one. My Policeman is set in Brighton in the UK in the 1950s and the late 1990s. It’s the story of a very complicated relationships between Tom, the titular policeman, Marion whom he marries, and his lover Patrick. There are two narrative threads - one from Marion’s perspective in the 1990s where she looks back at events in the past, and one from Patrick’s perspective in the form of his diary entries from the 1950s. One offers the benefit of a hindsight and a long-term perspective; the other of raw honest immediacy. The writing was exquisite, intimately depicting the emotions - desire, jealousy, love, loss, obsession, regret, shame - of Marion and Patrick. Even Tom, for although we never hear from him directly, we do see parts of him through the eyes of Marion and Patrick. All three characters were flawed and made some selfish, in one case reprehensible, choices. But life in the 1950s offered limited options to women; fewer still to gay men whose sexuality was criminalised. As such I felt for them all - the boxes society attempted to confine people in cost everyone a chance at true happiness.

Adding to the poignancy and impact is the fact that the story was inspired by a relationship between EM Forster, a policeman named Robert Buckingham, and Buckingham’s wife May. I found it captivating, both beautiful and profoundly sad. The audio is also excellent.

Content Warnings

heather_freshparchment's review against another edition

Go to review page

emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Content Warnings

dlrosebyh's review against another edition

Go to review page

emotional reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Marion sees Tom for the first time in Brighton in the 1950s. Marion is enamored as Tom teaches her to swim in the shade of the pier, and she is determined that her love will be enough for them both.

Patrick encounters Tom a few years later in the Brighton Museum. Patrick falls in love with Tom and discovers a dazzling and sophisticated new world.

Tom is their police officer, and it is safer for him to marry Marion in this day and age. The two hearts must share him until one of them breaks, leading to loss of three lives.

Have I read this in preparation for the future adaptation? Indeed. This is a heartbreaking, emotional narrative that should not be taken lightly. People may expect smut because the novel is rated 18+, but while there is smut, it should not be romanticized. Even if smut is a "means of affection," in this case, it's traumatic, unpleasant, and shouldn't be glorified.

Pride Month Book 4: mlm romance

Content Warnings

solouncapitulomas's review against another edition

Go to review page

challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

4.5

I am not special (like at all) I’m here for the same reason everyone else is…Harry Styles

I only have to say that Marion’s pov almost made me dnf this book, she was boring af and Tom is a little bitch. I only endured this for Patrick, fuck the rest of ‘em (not you Julia, I love you ok?)

I did love the writing and have no more criticism I think? Sylvie was a bitch, ugh

wtv cannot wait to see Harry playing a complete asshole and I am counting on Emma Corrin and David Dawson to one make Marion a better character and two portray Patrick as he deserves.

Content Warnings

itsmemiana's review against another edition

Go to review page

dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

this book was so much better than I was expecting. it's historical fiction which is something I don't usually lean into, but this surprised me so much that I might actually decide to read more historical fiction.

even tho the characters are very explicitly flawd, specially Marion and Tom (in my opinion), I still really enjoyed this.

I also absolutely love the way it's written. the writing is so beautiful.

this is set in Brighton, UK in the 50's and I loved the descriptions of this place. it made me really wanna visit it someday.

after reading this I'm even more excited to see the movie and to see Tom being played by Harry Styles.

Btw, since this is an LGBTQ+ story set in the 50's in the UK when it was illegal to be apart of the community, pls note that there is a lot of homophobia and other things that might trigger some people, so look up trigger warnings before reading.

Content Warnings

More...