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hannah_bierbaum's review against another edition
A really interesting read! Not what I expected and I learned a lot.
anatl's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
reflective
fast-paced
5.0
A riveting and edifying read that explores the demographic and social challenges that ensue when women rise in education and migrate to work in the big cities, while rural men stay behind to take care of their properties and aging parents, and find themselves without viable wives. And as women have better jobs and education they prefer to stay single than marry traditional husbands and vice versa, the men are seeking "plain yogurt" women who they can shape and who will uphold old patriarchical norms.
It explores the history of romantic love and marriage and the generations chaning attitudes, the social norms and customs surrounding Chinese marriages, as well as exploring what takes place in neighbouring countries like Japan and Korea who seem to have declining marriage and birth rates. It explore Singapore government funded efforts to mix singles and boost marriage and fertility. Pairing Singaporean men with Chinese women is a rising phenomenon apparently, as Chinese women have partners who don't need a homemaker but a partner to help build their business, while Singapore women are less likely to follow their lead and prefer to pursue their own carrers and buisnesses.
I can't begin to cover all the subjects the book touches, and all the personal stories and daily lives detail from the women that surround the author. It ties in well with a book I read on the One Child policy way back. Where 150 million households have only one child that is also their social security, the demograpic situation becomes a serious liability
critterbee's review against another edition
3.0
This is a very interesting and eye-opening read about the amazing women in China who have widely achieved an unprecedented level of ass-kickingly professional success. These brilliant, successful, highly educated women are almost running the country, and are propelling China forward towards a bright future.
However, traditional cultural belief in the importance of marriage and procreation are at war with modern gender roles and expectations. These capable women are expected to find and marry a man, basically just for the sake of salving ancient tradition. There achievements in education and professional capacities are seen as less important than marrying and having a child. And the only sons, 'Little Emperors,' have been so spoiled by their parents, they are apparently unable to function in an equal marriage with a successful woman. And that, many times, is seen as the fault of the woman, instead of the man. Women who postpone marriage, or even delay it, are seen as sheng nu, or Leftover Women.
This book is full of the first hand experiences of many people, so you get a good idea of how various people feel about this situation.
*eARC Netgalley*
However, traditional cultural belief in the importance of marriage and procreation are at war with modern gender roles and expectations. These capable women are expected to find and marry a man, basically just for the sake of salving ancient tradition. There achievements in education and professional capacities are seen as less important than marrying and having a child. And the only sons, 'Little Emperors,' have been so spoiled by their parents, they are apparently unable to function in an equal marriage with a successful woman. And that, many times, is seen as the fault of the woman, instead of the man. Women who postpone marriage, or even delay it, are seen as sheng nu, or Leftover Women.
This book is full of the first hand experiences of many people, so you get a good idea of how various people feel about this situation.
*eARC Netgalley*
ywanderingreads's review against another edition
3.0
This was such a fascinating read about women in China and their struggles dealing with expectations to marry. Lake covers the history of marriage and family planning policies in China. She also covers on restrictive and unequal gender roles which highlights the long term effect of excluding women from developing processes around the world.
This book follows the personal stories of a few "leftover" women in China, revealing that these women are unlike the norm and is not very bothered about the title. These women are independent and strong despite living in a society that constantly discriminates women past the age of twenty-five. they not only suffer pressure from society but more so from their own parents. Chinese parents play a big and interfering role in choosing spouses for their children. The personal stories interwove with date not based on China but also Korea, Japan and Singapore. Lake also covered on the effects of China's one-child policy which has caused a gender imbalance long after the policy has been lifted. Currently, Chinese women are coming out more educated and hold better job positions compare to before but the choice of men is lacking. Men are threatened by these women's capabilities and feel that these women are lacking wife materials.
Here are a few things I noted down from the book:
-Sajiao or anegyo is apparently important in relationships. This usually means acting cute or whinge like a small child. Apparently, this is important to create balance in a relationship? To make the man feel more manly and capable and make the woman seem less independent. This is quite absurd but it is such a common practice.
-A man who has a car, house and cash makes him eligible for marriage. These are the top three requirements for a woman to choose a man. This makes women look very materialistic but Lake explained this also stems from their parents who are the main decision-makers in them choosing a suitable spouse. This proves to create a huge burden on men, especially men living in rural areas or men who are not well off, it is almost impossible for them to find a Chinese wife which is why they will resort to purchasing Vietnam brides. This in turn, will increase the rates of leftover women which turns out to be a vicious cycle.
-I was appalled that there are too many terms for women who are past the so called "marriageable age". In China, they consider women as young as twenty-three to be getting old. If you are twenty-five and more married, you are basically turning into a "leftover" woman. In Japan, they call these women "Christmas cake" because they eat these on the 25th (age relevance) and on 26th December, they become expired Christmas cakes that nobody wants. In Korea, people call them "Gold miss" because once they have reached their prime age, no men would want them anymore. It is so so appalling and frustrating to see women being categorised this way!
-Another shocking thing Lake pointed out was that couples in China don't necessarily marry for love. They marry based on cash flow, car and house. The more the man has, the better. it doesn't matter if they are cheating on each other, they are fully aware of that, as long as they come home to each other because getting divorced is considered a shameful thing and parents will not allow their children to put them through that shame.
Lake also mentioned about women int he workplace and how they are discriminated from their job roles and also being hired based on their marital statuses so companies can avoid paying for maternity leaves. Another reason why companies prefer to hire men over women and how it is difficult for women to achieve a leadership role because she constantly have to make a choice between work or family.
This book follows the personal stories of a few "leftover" women in China, revealing that these women are unlike the norm and is not very bothered about the title. These women are independent and strong despite living in a society that constantly discriminates women past the age of twenty-five. they not only suffer pressure from society but more so from their own parents. Chinese parents play a big and interfering role in choosing spouses for their children. The personal stories interwove with date not based on China but also Korea, Japan and Singapore. Lake also covered on the effects of China's one-child policy which has caused a gender imbalance long after the policy has been lifted. Currently, Chinese women are coming out more educated and hold better job positions compare to before but the choice of men is lacking. Men are threatened by these women's capabilities and feel that these women are lacking wife materials.
Here are a few things I noted down from the book:
-Sajiao or anegyo is apparently important in relationships. This usually means acting cute or whinge like a small child. Apparently, this is important to create balance in a relationship? To make the man feel more manly and capable and make the woman seem less independent. This is quite absurd but it is such a common practice.
-A man who has a car, house and cash makes him eligible for marriage. These are the top three requirements for a woman to choose a man. This makes women look very materialistic but Lake explained this also stems from their parents who are the main decision-makers in them choosing a suitable spouse. This proves to create a huge burden on men, especially men living in rural areas or men who are not well off, it is almost impossible for them to find a Chinese wife which is why they will resort to purchasing Vietnam brides. This in turn, will increase the rates of leftover women which turns out to be a vicious cycle.
-I was appalled that there are too many terms for women who are past the so called "marriageable age". In China, they consider women as young as twenty-three to be getting old. If you are twenty-five and more married, you are basically turning into a "leftover" woman. In Japan, they call these women "Christmas cake" because they eat these on the 25th (age relevance) and on 26th December, they become expired Christmas cakes that nobody wants. In Korea, people call them "Gold miss" because once they have reached their prime age, no men would want them anymore. It is so so appalling and frustrating to see women being categorised this way!
-Another shocking thing Lake pointed out was that couples in China don't necessarily marry for love. They marry based on cash flow, car and house. The more the man has, the better. it doesn't matter if they are cheating on each other, they are fully aware of that, as long as they come home to each other because getting divorced is considered a shameful thing and parents will not allow their children to put them through that shame.
Lake also mentioned about women int he workplace and how they are discriminated from their job roles and also being hired based on their marital statuses so companies can avoid paying for maternity leaves. Another reason why companies prefer to hire men over women and how it is difficult for women to achieve a leadership role because she constantly have to make a choice between work or family.
starduest's review against another edition
4.0
Even though there's much in this book that most familiar with China and East Asian culture already know, this was extremely well written and the anecdotes were very enjoyable.
nogglization's review against another edition
4.0
Highly educated women in China are marrying later and later, if at all. A sociopolitical look at how the gender roles have not evolved as vigorously as society itself.
“Love is like a double cheeseburger. When you have it in your hands, there is nothing better in the world. But if you have it every day and for too long, it will destroy you.”
“Love is like a double cheeseburger. When you have it in your hands, there is nothing better in the world. But if you have it every day and for too long, it will destroy you.”
beebeewin's review against another edition
3.0
While I find the topic enthralling I feel like this book only covered the surface level of this larger, more encompassing situation in China. I wanted more full interviews and less regurgitated facts. I want to know how the women and men are really feeling. Do they even want to get married? When comparing themselves to women in other nations, especially those who studied abroad, what do they see as individualistic to China? There could have been so much more discussion with the subjects and a lot more in-depth understanding that I felt was sorely lacking. Overall, I did learn more than I new before but the anthropologist in me want more.
merixcil's review against another edition
2.0
I was Concerned going into this one as the author is white but it more or less manages not to spend it's time gawping at how ~weird~ Chinese culture is. Comparisons are mostly centred on other Asian countries and when America does get brought up it's usually to say 'look, we do the exact same thing'. An ok read, and even if it's not really breaking new ground it puts a refreshing emphasis on the power women have when they make decisions about how they marry