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adeperi's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Racism, Homophobia, and Transphobia
donutlookaway's review against another edition
emotional
medium-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia, Racism, and Transphobia
puttingwingsonwords's review against another edition
reflective
slow-paced
3.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse and Sexual content
Moderate: Body shaming, Physical abuse, Racism, Sexism, Fatphobia, Homophobia, Infidelity, Classism, Abandonment, Ableism, and Transphobia
Minor: Alcohol, Drug abuse, Suicide, Dysphoria, Alcoholism, Death, and Sexual harassment
ghostreadin's review
challenging
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
4.25
Content Warnings
Moderate: Racism, Sexual content, Sexual harassment, Transphobia, and Infidelity
wordingitright's review against another edition
DNF @ 65%ish
This memoir started off strong - the first half was an interesting, nuanced take on growing up albino and poor in the Philippines and how Talusan began to formulate and grapple with her identities and the conception of whiteness in the Philippines and in the US. I really appreciated that this is a trans memoir where the gender transition or post-transition life isn't the bulk of the book. The writing overall was fair and had its strong moments. The themes discussed in the first half (race, albinism, poverty, immigration, queer identity, family) raised a lot of questions I was hoping the second half of the book was going to answer.
Unfortunately, my hopes were dashed. The latter half of the memoir finds Talusan starting her education at Harvard and growing into her identity as a gay man. The points she makes about entering an Ivy League institution and academia's traditions as a first generation immigrant are the high point. Most of this section is spent describing minutiae of crushes, dates, lovers and sexual escapades, none of which was interesting (and most of which was actually deeply cringey). We see her behave immaturely repeatedly in an attempt to attract romantic and sexual attention and never grapple with it or reflect on her behavior in a nuanced manner in the way an excellent memoirist would. The emotions she says she's feeling don't translate and you constantly feel like you're at arm's length, being told but not shown. I understand that she wished to dig up even the most embarrassing and traumatic parts of her past, but she consistently came off as immature, shallow, foolish, and at points arrogant especially about academia. Perhaps a better editor could've warned her about this?
Mostly Talusan's discussion of her gender identity hinges on her looks and her constant references to her 'gym body' and 'toned physique' were tired after the second mention, let alone the tenth. The further she delved into her relationships, the more problematic her outlook became. We see her reveling in passing herself off as a white American time and time again in order to get the sexual fulfillment she desires, but she simultaneously refuses to interrogate the Western beauty standards and misogyny that gave her that privilege. By the time you read about her cheating on her partners and buying a young Filipino boy for sex (!) in Manila while pretending to be American (!!) in order to project a one-sided disturbing fantasy (!!!) involving her childhood crush onto him (whew), it becomes clear that Talusan is incapable of reflecting on and dissecting her life's events in a mature, learned way. I don't think her hindsight has brought her to the kinds of conclusions one would expect to find after reading scenes like this.
Her continued focus on womanhood as physical beauty, sexual attractiveness and deference to men reeked of misogyny and was deeply uncomfortable and almost offensive to read about as a cis woman. I just kept waiting for the payoff, an acknowledgement of her growth and maturation, but I agree with another reviewer that it simply never came. Perhaps she needs a few more years worth of self-reflection?
The horrifying sex worker scene, paired with awkward misogyny, privilege, emotional immaturity, lack of self awareness and average writing style, made this a clear DNF.
This memoir started off strong - the first half was an interesting, nuanced take on growing up albino and poor in the Philippines and how Talusan began to formulate and grapple with her identities and the conception of whiteness in the Philippines and in the US. I really appreciated that this is a trans memoir where the gender transition or post-transition life isn't the bulk of the book. The writing overall was fair and had its strong moments. The themes discussed in the first half (race, albinism, poverty, immigration, queer identity, family) raised a lot of questions I was hoping the second half of the book was going to answer.
Unfortunately, my hopes were dashed. The latter half of the memoir finds Talusan starting her education at Harvard and growing into her identity as a gay man. The points she makes about entering an Ivy League institution and academia's traditions as a first generation immigrant are the high point. Most of this section is spent describing minutiae of crushes, dates, lovers and sexual escapades, none of which was interesting (and most of which was actually deeply cringey). We see her behave immaturely repeatedly in an attempt to attract romantic and sexual attention and never grapple with it or reflect on her behavior in a nuanced manner in the way an excellent memoirist would. The emotions she says she's feeling don't translate and you constantly feel like you're at arm's length, being told but not shown. I understand that she wished to dig up even the most embarrassing and traumatic parts of her past, but she consistently came off as immature, shallow, foolish, and at points arrogant especially about academia. Perhaps a better editor could've warned her about this?
Mostly Talusan's discussion of her gender identity hinges on her looks and her constant references to her 'gym body' and 'toned physique' were tired after the second mention, let alone the tenth. The further she delved into her relationships, the more problematic her outlook became. We see her reveling in passing herself off as a white American time and time again in order to get the sexual fulfillment she desires, but she simultaneously refuses to interrogate the Western beauty standards and misogyny that gave her that privilege. By the time you read about her cheating on her partners and buying a young Filipino boy for sex (!) in Manila while pretending to be American (!!) in order to project a one-sided disturbing fantasy (!!!) involving her childhood crush onto him (whew), it becomes clear that Talusan is incapable of reflecting on and dissecting her life's events in a mature, learned way. I don't think her hindsight has brought her to the kinds of conclusions one would expect to find after reading scenes like this.
Her continued focus on womanhood as physical beauty, sexual attractiveness and deference to men reeked of misogyny and was deeply uncomfortable and almost offensive to read about as a cis woman. I just kept waiting for the payoff, an acknowledgement of her growth and maturation, but I agree with another reviewer that it simply never came. Perhaps she needs a few more years worth of self-reflection?
The horrifying sex worker scene, paired with awkward misogyny, privilege, emotional immaturity, lack of self awareness and average writing style, made this a clear DNF.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content
Moderate: Racism, Transphobia, and Misogyny
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