Reviews tagging 'Toxic friendship'

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry

11 reviews

beklovesbooks's review against another edition

dark emotional sad

2.5

The whole thing is just so sad knowing in the end his addiction won out. It’s also difficult to hear how much he used women. Ultimately, his story makes sense- he had a real set up in life to be a drug addict . He references the Big book and 12-step a lot. There’s a little about his friends co-stars and tons of other name-dropping. Heartbreaking, but Just ok. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Infidelity, Drug use, Alcoholism, Drug abuse, Medical content, Sexual content, and Addiction

Moderate: Suicidal thoughts, Excrement, Toxic friendship, Cursing, and Sexism

Minor: Ableism, Vomit, Violence, and Abandonment

lovelymisanthrope's review

dark emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective sad fast-paced

5.0

This book has been on my radar since last year, and I was all the more eager to read it after the untimely passing of Matthew Perry.
"Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing" is an autobiography that is written (and narrated) by renowned actor, Matthew Perry. Matthew's road to fame was not simple, and he faced several challenges in his childhood that continued to haunt him into adulthood. When he finally got his big break on "Friends", he thought everything would be great, but he quickly learned that his addictions demanded more attention and could cost him everything he worked his life to achieve.
I listened to this book on audio, and it was even more special to hear Matthew's words directly from his lips. The story also felt all the more haunting because in the prologue, Matthew makes a joke about this book being from beyond the grave, because he had died, but survived.
Although I am a big fan of "Friends", I never followed the actor's careers after the success of the show. So, reading about what Matthew Perry's life has been like over the past twenty years, since the ending of "Friends", was heartbreaking, but inspiring. Matthew struggled with addictions for the majority of his life, and everything really came to a head when he almost died. In spite of his struggles, he always tried to work to be better and gain control over his life. I think hearing stories like this are invaluable for people who are deep in their own struggles. No one is safe from the clutches of drugs and alcohol, and having success and money can actually just exacerbate the problems.
I really enjoyed learning more about Matthew Perry, and I hope he has finally found peace. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Toxic relationship, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Suicidal thoughts, Drug abuse, Addiction, Medical content, Medical trauma, Toxic friendship, and Abandonment

Moderate: Sexual content

mandolin77's review

dark emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective sad slow-paced

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Drug abuse, Drug use, Medical content, Addiction, Chronic illness, Medical trauma, and Alcoholism

Moderate: Sexual content, Excrement, and Suicidal thoughts

Minor: Abandonment, Cursing, Toxic friendship, and Toxic relationship

allisonstockslager's review against another edition

dark emotional sad fast-paced

3.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Alcoholism, Drug abuse, Drug use, Alcohol, Addiction, Mental illness, and Medical trauma

Moderate: Cursing, Toxic relationship, Excrement, Abandonment, and Toxic friendship

Minor: Suicidal thoughts

chasingpages1's review against another edition

dark emotional funny sad medium-paced

3.25

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Suicidal thoughts, Vomit, Medical content, Drug abuse, Drug use, Forced institutionalization, Grief, Infidelity, Toxic friendship, Alcoholism, Suicide, Injury/Injury detail, Addiction, Alcohol, Medical trauma, Toxic relationship, and Excrement

Moderate: Cursing, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Self harm, Misogyny, Panic attacks/disorders, and Sexual content

Minor: Death, Abandonment, and Car accident

saliwali's review against another edition

challenging emotional informative inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Alcohol, Alcoholism, Drug abuse, Self harm, Toxic relationship, Addiction, Drug use, Grief, Medical content, Medical trauma, and Cursing

Moderate: Grief, Injury/Injury detail, Infidelity, and Toxic friendship

Minor: Pandemic/Epidemic and Emotional abuse

alixcallender's review

challenging dark emotional funny hopeful informative inspiring reflective sad fast-paced

4.25

Listening to the audiobook version of this after Matthew Perry’s death is unbearably, crushingly sad. I am weeping like a child as I write this, having just heard his closing montage of love and gratitude for the people in his life. 

It is not a perfect book, but it’s honest - he equally expresses his anger, fear, and complete selfishness alongside humility, reflection, and love. He’s a complex person, like we’re all complex people. I am actually surprised it has such low ratings, but my guess is probably that people struggle with the beginning. At the outset, he portrays himself as a narcissistic, bitter curmudgeon with mommy/daddy issues and no respect for women.  If you’d picked up the book because you love Chandler Bing, this intro is alarming. (It is also a bit disorganized, from an editing/narrative standpoint.) But to anyone who starts it, I implore you to finish it. You must finish it. As the book continues, Perry stumblingly arrives to a place of gratitude and hard-won optimism, acknowledging his deep-set flaws and realizing the universe is not out to get him. I think the set up of this book is deliberate: you start from the brain of an millionaire drug addict, self-pitying and loathsome and ungrateful; then you join him on the painful journey to sobriety, failing plenty of times along the way but ultimately coming out the other side with love both for himself and for the people in his life.

That’s why the reality of his untimely death is so, so sad. He concludes with such hope and optimism and appreciation for the beauty of the world. Wanting this chapter of his life to be the longest and happiest, wanting to find love, maybe have kids. He continually expressed how thankful he was to just be alive. A sense that he survived what he did for a higher purpose. Listening to this, knowing he would be dead only two years later, is heartbreaking. I can only imagine how his friends and family must feel. 

I don’t know fully what to take away from this. Yes, he had many successes in life and had it a lot easier than some addicts, and yes much of this book is flawed. But addiction like this is unimaginably difficult no matter how much fame and money you have. I was rooting for him throughout, and am sadder for it. I’m only hopeful he found true happiness at the very end. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Drug use, Excrement, Drug abuse, Addiction, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Mental illness, and Self harm

Moderate: Medical content, Medical trauma, Misogyny, Abandonment, Blood, Death, Grief, Confinement, Gaslighting, and Schizophrenia/Psychosis

Minor: Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Pandemic/Epidemic, Sexism, Vomit, and Toxic friendship

rory_john14's review

emotional hopeful reflective sad medium-paced

2.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Drug use, Alcoholism, Mental illness, Sexual content, Abandonment, Addiction, Forced institutionalization, Medical content, Toxic relationship, Confinement, Infidelity, Alcohol, Emotional abuse, Excrement, Grief, Blood, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Injury/Injury detail, Cursing, Drug abuse, Death, Medical trauma, and Self harm

Moderate: Car accident, Gaslighting, Panic attacks/disorders, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Gore, Vomit, Pandemic/Epidemic, Toxic friendship, Chronic illness, and Suicidal thoughts

Minor: Violence, Cancer, Eating disorder, Suicide, War, Physical abuse, Pregnancy, and Sexual harassment

rokinjaguar's review against another edition

challenging dark informative reflective slow-paced

3.5

I feel a little mixed on this book. It was honest and informative and I loved his attitude. He spoke plainly but with grace about people and situations that have hurt him, but also took full responsibility for his actions. I really respected that
It just felt a little disorganized to me, like it was hard to know when something was happening in the timeline. I also have a hard time connecting with the “hope-filled conclusions” that are always the bookend to when people tell their life story. I’m not sure why. Maybe I’m just not a memoir person. 
Either way, I’m glad I read it and I see the value in this book. I think it’s just subjectively not the type of thing I like to read, I guess. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Cursing, Medical trauma, Addiction, Alcoholism, Drug abuse, Grief, Medical content, and Mental illness

Moderate: Toxic friendship, Abandonment, Infidelity, Panic attacks/disorders, Sexual content, and Vomit

Minor: Suicidal thoughts and Gaslighting

sassysasha's review against another edition

emotional funny hopeful inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

4.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Mental illness, Alcoholism, Bullying, Chronic illness, Drug use, Sexism, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Vomit, Medical trauma, Self harm, Toxic friendship, Grief, Cursing, Drug abuse, Infidelity, Panic attacks/disorders, Gaslighting, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Addiction, Alcohol, Suicidal thoughts, Car accident, Emotional abuse, Excrement, and Forced institutionalization