Scan barcode
mgeorges's review against another edition
4.0
I appreciate this book, not for the writing style, but for the truth of the story Chung shares with such open and unadorned vulnerability. Everyone can learn something from her story, however vastly different it may be from their own. I also appreciate those moments she shared that reminded me of experiences that I have had, and made me feel seen.
skorned's review
emotional
medium-paced
3.75
Excellent -- Nicole Chung is thoughtful and honest in her memoir of growing up in a white family as a transracial adoptee. I really appreciated how she wove together the different threads of her families, and felt like I was really getting insight into her lived experience. I have adopted members of my family and this felt neither accusatory nor a glowing endorsement, which feels really true. I would really recommend this book.
corrie_b's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
hollidayreadswithme's review against another edition
5.0
I can appreciate this book for what it is. I can appreciate that this book has most possibly the best representation of what it means to be transracially adopted in America bear in mind I haven’t read anything else but this was very very good. I think you should be required reading for anyone who is considering to go in for transracial adoption because there are a lot of nuances that are not talked about that need to be talked about.
One of the things that I find really interesting about this particular case is that she went to find her birth parents after she became pregnant at the age of 26, I think this was really important because This is a reality that a lot of people face and I don’t think it’s talked about very much outside of the normal spheres of influence. I didn’t even think about the cultural differences in how that would affect the adoptee. Here you have a woman well educated who still feels incomplete because of something that she had no control over.
I find it scary and unconscionable for someone, mainly her adopted parents, to hide her culture away from her because they did not feel comfortable with it. To have that kind of power over someone without regard of their feelings. I also think it’s very interesting that it wasn’t put in terms of “oh we are so much better off” because they had already immigrated here from Korea. . I would like to hear more memoirs about people who are transracially adopted from different countries and the implications of that black child with a white family or hispanic child with a white family. Where it’s not a savior story.
This book straight up made me cry and I was better for it.
2019 PopSugar Reading Challenge - A book recommended by a celebrity you admire
2019 ATy Challenge - A book that is included on a New York Public Library Staff Picks list
One of the things that I find really interesting about this particular case is that she went to find her birth parents after she became pregnant at the age of 26, I think this was really important because This is a reality that a lot of people face and I don’t think it’s talked about very much outside of the normal spheres of influence. I didn’t even think about the cultural differences in how that would affect the adoptee. Here you have a woman well educated who still feels incomplete because of something that she had no control over.
I find it scary and unconscionable for someone, mainly her adopted parents, to hide her culture away from her because they did not feel comfortable with it. To have that kind of power over someone without regard of their feelings. I also think it’s very interesting that it wasn’t put in terms of “oh we are so much better off” because they had already immigrated here from Korea. . I would like to hear more memoirs about people who are transracially adopted from different countries and the implications of that black child with a white family or hispanic child with a white family. Where it’s not a savior story.
This book straight up made me cry and I was better for it.
2019 PopSugar Reading Challenge - A book recommended by a celebrity you admire
2019 ATy Challenge - A book that is included on a New York Public Library Staff Picks list
mitskacir's review against another edition
5.0
I wanted to read this book because I'm interested in adopting children (at some point in the future), and have heard stories from adopted friends and classmates that complicated the narratives of transracial adoption that I had usually heard. I was surprised by how relatable Chung's experience as a transracial adoptee was to my own experience as multi-racial. Of course, our experienced diverged when it came to searching for her biological family, but her feelings or racial inadequacy, uncertainty about her own identity, and exclusion by her peers strongly resonated with me (as a mixed-race person, I sometimes was asked if I was adopted when with my white biological father).
The end of the book, with Chung's descriptions of her multi-racial daughter questioning her identity as Korean and what it means to *be Asian*, really pulled at my heart. Chung attempts to learn Korean, and says "I tried to ignore the voice of doubt suggesting that perhaps I had no right to any of this; that all of it, country visit and potential language study included, represented little more than a glorified, grasping form of cultural appropriation," articulating exactly how I feel about learning Japanese, celebrating Lunar New Year, learning to cook Japanese and Chinese food... Feeling both inauthentic and performative at the same time that I feel like I'm trying to repair a loss in my life born from generations of assimilation and persecution.
Chung says that by confronting her adopted families racism and prejudice, "I am breaching the sacred pact of our family, our once-shared belief that my race is irrelevant in the presence of their love." From my own experiences and what I have learned about others, I think this is the most powerful takeaway from this book. Being colorblind not only does a disservice to the people you love, but perpetuates the very racism you may feel like you are avoiding.
The end of the book, with Chung's descriptions of her multi-racial daughter questioning her identity as Korean and what it means to *be Asian*, really pulled at my heart. Chung attempts to learn Korean, and says "I tried to ignore the voice of doubt suggesting that perhaps I had no right to any of this; that all of it, country visit and potential language study included, represented little more than a glorified, grasping form of cultural appropriation," articulating exactly how I feel about learning Japanese, celebrating Lunar New Year, learning to cook Japanese and Chinese food... Feeling both inauthentic and performative at the same time that I feel like I'm trying to repair a loss in my life born from generations of assimilation and persecution.
Chung says that by confronting her adopted families racism and prejudice, "I am breaching the sacred pact of our family, our once-shared belief that my race is irrelevant in the presence of their love." From my own experiences and what I have learned about others, I think this is the most powerful takeaway from this book. Being colorblind not only does a disservice to the people you love, but perpetuates the very racism you may feel like you are avoiding.
allonsyechoes's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.5
daumari's review against another edition
5.0
This book was very buzzy on my Twitter timeline last year, so I jumped on it when I saw it at the library. All You Can Ever Know is a moving memoir, and I'm thinking about picking up my own copy.
I am not an adoptee. I did grow up in Idaho, however, where I was the only Asian in my grade through elementary school and in middle school, we numbered enough I could count on my hands (a hapa girl, me, a Thai guy, and two Korean adoptees). One of the adoptees was a close friend of mine through high school, and I've always wondered if she was ever curious about her birth family, or ever felt a sense of loss. Our school is a moderate size (~1,000 students), but I recall some microaggressions, mostly from people simply not knowing any Asians but a handful (though honestly I felt stronger discrimination for being non-Mormon). Like child!Nicole, whenever I visit somewhere with an AsAm community like Seattle, I marvel at what it might've been like to see other faces like mine, to potentially have access to language classes etc. though I do have the tether of family we could visit.
It feels personal to me as well because I had an unplanned pregnancy at 21, and my then-BF's parents strongly pressured me to think about adoption as an option- I pictured the nightmare scenario of there only being so many Asian kids in my community and my parents wondering if their grandchild out there, somewhere. In the end, I chose to abort but it really made me realize that I don't think I personally could adopt out, especially if transracial adoptive parents haven't fully figured out how to approach their child's experiences. I know every story is different, but the anguish Nicole felt keeping her feelings to herself in an Oregon town really punched me in the gut.
Weaving in the story of her sister and the joy of building that connection is beautiful. I haven't read many adoption narratives, but this is a good one.
I am not an adoptee. I did grow up in Idaho, however, where I was the only Asian in my grade through elementary school and in middle school, we numbered enough I could count on my hands (a hapa girl, me, a Thai guy, and two Korean adoptees). One of the adoptees was a close friend of mine through high school, and I've always wondered if she was ever curious about her birth family, or ever felt a sense of loss. Our school is a moderate size (~1,000 students), but I recall some microaggressions, mostly from people simply not knowing any Asians but a handful (though honestly I felt stronger discrimination for being non-Mormon). Like child!Nicole, whenever I visit somewhere with an AsAm community like Seattle, I marvel at what it might've been like to see other faces like mine, to potentially have access to language classes etc. though I do have the tether of family we could visit.
It feels personal to me as well because I had an unplanned pregnancy at 21, and my then-BF's parents strongly pressured me to think about adoption as an option- I pictured the nightmare scenario of there only being so many Asian kids in my community and my parents wondering if their grandchild out there, somewhere. In the end, I chose to abort but it really made me realize that I don't think I personally could adopt out, especially if transracial adoptive parents haven't fully figured out how to approach their child's experiences. I know every story is different, but the anguish Nicole felt keeping her feelings to herself in an Oregon town really punched me in the gut.
Weaving in the story of her sister and the joy of building that connection is beautiful. I haven't read many adoption narratives, but this is a good one.