Reviews with content warning for Child abuse - Everything I Never Told You

Ng writes family dysfunction and pain so well that anyone reading this book who has experienced some form of family trauma is likely to be slightly triggered. Although I certainly had a visceral reaction to the book, I loved it. It was quietly hypnotic and addicting; Ng let the plot unfold methodically yet unexpectedly, feeding the reader just enough to keep them informed yet slightly too little so they were still out of the loop. Ng's writing is flawless; her ability to move narrator within paragraphs without it being confusing or inaccessible is quite remarkable and a style that worked wonderfully for this book. It allowed the reader to flit around the family who, whilst a unit, were not connected; the narration style highlighted this disconnection and allowed us to see each characters' perspective isolated from the other characters, mirroring exactly how the Lee family was living. The book, in this sense, was frustrating and sad with so many instances of poor communication and intergenerational trauma as well as external pressures such as racism. Whilst it is a hard read and one that may challenge anyone who does not have the emotional capacity for the topics it explores, this book is incredibly poignant and moving. It has left me deeply questioning the idea of parenthood, how it has manifested itself in my life, and how I may reproduce this in the future without any real introspection.

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ramiel's review against another edition

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emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.5

My feelings are very conflicted.

The family pictured in the story, the main characters, have a very poor relationship where wants and needs are suppressed until they explode, and miscommunication is near constant. This, however, is the point of the story, it's a look into a very dysfunctional family dynamic at the very height of their emotions - when one of their children dies. This leads to the rest of them reflecting on the rest of their history while their present relationship makes them more and more angry and distant. When it comes to "character development", most of the story takes place in the past, and the rest is deeply present - you see more how they came to be in this ugly situation rather than a picture of anyone advancing forward.

My conflicting feelings have to do with the fact that these sorts of plots can make me feel emotionally exhausted, and I don't often care for it, especially in cases where couples cheat and children are neglected or mistreated - though this doesn't mean the story itself was bad, simply hard for me, personally to get through. I would not recommend it to anyone sensitive to these things, as I am.

However, this is the center of the book, it is the central conflict, and it is taken seriously by the author. Each character feels very real, and she doesn't shy away on how the parents' overbearing or neglectful attitudes have hurt their children (though, some of the moments between the parents and the children I feel she may be too forgiving of some of the parents actions, or of actions between the couple themselves). The writing itself is beautiful in places, and I love the way she describes the small moments that seem insignificant but mean so much to the characters, especially the children (who were honestly my favorite characters of the story).

Example below:

"Years of yearning had made her sensitive, the way a starving dog twitches its nostrils at the faintest smell of food. She could not mistake it. She recognized it at once: love, one-way deep adoration that bounced off and did not bounce back; careful, quiet love that didn't care and went on anyway. It was too familiar to be surprising. Something deep inside of her stretched out and curled around Jack like a shawl, but he didn't notice. His gaze moved away to the far side of the lake, as if nothing had happened. She stretched her leg and touched her bare foot to Jack's, big toe to big toe, and only then did he look down at her."

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