Scan barcode
atmreads's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
And here we go again, I’m in love with love and questioning my gender. I don’t know where to start, I don’t know what feels more important. Whether Neil and Wyatt’s love for each other is what I want to talk about or Wyatt’s short scene about their gender that sent me spiraling (in the best way).
I guess I’ll start with the relationship. Neil is such a little shit for almost the entire book and I know that’s a turn off for some people, but I kinda liked it. He was stupid and impulsive and annoying and so head over fucking heels for Wyatt and it made me so happy. And it made me angry when he wouldn’t admit how much he loved them and when he tried to convince himself out of these feelings. But then I was smiling quietly to myself as I listened to the last hour of the audiobook, as I read about their reconciliation. Knowing they got their happily ever after and their first dance made me so. damn. happy. Seeing Neil not only realize he /can/ love, but also realize that he’s /allowed/ to love. Seeing Wyatt tell Neil that they love him, that it was always real to them. It made me realize how much I love love. And I think a huge part of my love for this book is how batshit and messy and trope-y it is. I’d absolutely hate this if it was cishet, I’d write it off as a cash grab because it’d be like every other Hallmark romcom of a book. But it being queer, and t4t made it hit different. It made it feel genuine, like a love letter to queer kids who think they don’t get to love. I mean the dedication is literally “For every trans person who ever believed they were too complicated for a love story.” THAT HIT ME SO HARD. I don’t use the word trans for myself, but that didn’t make it any less meaningful. That being the first thing I heard when I started the book made me know this book was for me. It was for people like me. Queer people, queer *kids* deserve these stories. They deserve the messy crazy love stories that we’re told we don’t get to have. This book managed to make me realize how much I actually like romance books, queer romances that is. Reading stories like this is a reclamation of love, it’s telling little me that I do find love, that even if I like girls instead of boys I can love and I /get/ to love. It’s telling little me that eventually, I get to see people like me have these messy love stories, people like me can be batshit and wild in stories. Reading stories like this is telling little me that even if right now I think I want to be every pretty girl without being her and without being a girl, eventually I sorta figure it out, eventually I feel seen. Eventually, we get to lay in bed at night and smile as we read about the joy of love, the kind of love we want.
And then Wyatt’s gender thing in the middle of the book. I listened to them explain it, the way they said they sometimes feel like wearing makeup and skirts and wanting a soft body. But sometimes they like their scruffiness and masculinity. And sometimes they felt like everything but neither and it just didn’t fit into boy or girl. The way they said they liked the idea of just simply not fitting into the gender binary. That resonated with me. THAT finally felt like my gender, this thing I’ve grappled with for ages and never understood if I was cis or trans or neither. I finally felt like I knew how to explain it when I heard someone else (albeit fictional) explain it. Seeing that kind of representation in media felt good. Hearing Wyatt ask for Neil to use different pronouns the same way I asked friends to use different pronouns for me felt so good. It made me feel seen.
I read this book in a day, I pretty much listened to the audiobook nonstop. I fell so madly in love with it, the way I felt seen, the way I felt like love was so perfectly portrayed. Just please go read this book and thank you Mason Deaver for writing it
I guess I’ll start with the relationship. Neil is such a little shit for almost the entire book and I know that’s a turn off for some people, but I kinda liked it. He was stupid and impulsive and annoying and so head over fucking heels for Wyatt and it made me so happy. And it made me angry when he wouldn’t admit how much he loved them and when he tried to convince himself out of these feelings. But then I was smiling quietly to myself as I listened to the last hour of the audiobook, as I read about their reconciliation. Knowing they got their happily ever after and their first dance made me so. damn. happy. Seeing Neil not only realize he /can/ love, but also realize that he’s /allowed/ to love. Seeing Wyatt tell Neil that they love him, that it was always real to them. It made me realize how much I love love. And I think a huge part of my love for this book is how batshit and messy and trope-y it is. I’d absolutely hate this if it was cishet, I’d write it off as a cash grab because it’d be like every other Hallmark romcom of a book. But it being queer, and t4t made it hit different. It made it feel genuine, like a love letter to queer kids who think they don’t get to love. I mean the dedication is literally “For every trans person who ever believed they were too complicated for a love story.” THAT HIT ME SO HARD. I don’t use the word trans for myself, but that didn’t make it any less meaningful. That being the first thing I heard when I started the book made me know this book was for me. It was for people like me. Queer people, queer *kids* deserve these stories. They deserve the messy crazy love stories that we’re told we don’t get to have. This book managed to make me realize how much I actually like romance books, queer romances that is. Reading stories like this is a reclamation of love, it’s telling little me that I do find love, that even if I like girls instead of boys I can love and I /get/ to love. It’s telling little me that eventually, I get to see people like me have these messy love stories, people like me can be batshit and wild in stories. Reading stories like this is telling little me that even if right now I think I want to be every pretty girl without being her and without being a girl, eventually I sorta figure it out, eventually I feel seen. Eventually, we get to lay in bed at night and smile as we read about the joy of love, the kind of love we want.
And then Wyatt’s gender thing in the middle of the book. I listened to them explain it, the way they said they sometimes feel like wearing makeup and skirts and wanting a soft body. But sometimes they like their scruffiness and masculinity. And sometimes they felt like everything but neither and it just didn’t fit into boy or girl. The way they said they liked the idea of just simply not fitting into the gender binary. That resonated with me. THAT finally felt like my gender, this thing I’ve grappled with for ages and never understood if I was cis or trans or neither. I finally felt like I knew how to explain it when I heard someone else (albeit fictional) explain it. Seeing that kind of representation in media felt good. Hearing Wyatt ask for Neil to use different pronouns the same way I asked friends to use different pronouns for me felt so good. It made me feel seen.
I read this book in a day, I pretty much listened to the audiobook nonstop. I fell so madly in love with it, the way I felt seen, the way I felt like love was so perfectly portrayed. Just please go read this book and thank you Mason Deaver for writing it
Content Warnings
Graphic: Transphobia, Classism, and Homophobia
Moderate: Sexism, Dysphoria, and Mental illness
Minor: Death of parent, Deadnaming, and Fatphobia
More...