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inesparis's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
sad
tense
fast-paced
5.0
emilyjarman's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
fast-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault, Gaslighting, Emotional abuse, Medical trauma, Violence, Sexism, Panic attacks/disorders, Chronic illness, and Sexual violence
Moderate: Suicidal thoughts, Adult/minor relationship, and Abortion
kaceychilvers's review against another edition
4.0
Lucia Osborne-Crowley is a survivor.
She is a survivor of sexual assault. A survivor of chronic pain. And a survivor of a world intent on silencing her.
I CHOOSE ELENA explores Osborne-Crowley's experience with sexual violence, chronic pain, misdiagnosis, PTSD, eating disorders. It is honest, heart-breaking and powerful.
Not to mention that it is all too familiar - the denial, confusion of guilt and shame, hiding the struggle because pretending is the only way to survive.
The best thing about this book is something highlighted in Lucia's words. Being a survivor is lonely, exhausting and excruciating. It feels like everyone is telling you that what you think happened didn't actually happen or maybe it did but it wasn't a big deal or it happened a long time ago so why bring it up now? The best that I CHOOSE ELENA has to offer is a metaphorical shoulder to cry on the bittersweet cathartic words of Me Too.
She is a survivor of sexual assault. A survivor of chronic pain. And a survivor of a world intent on silencing her.
I CHOOSE ELENA explores Osborne-Crowley's experience with sexual violence, chronic pain, misdiagnosis, PTSD, eating disorders. It is honest, heart-breaking and powerful.
Not to mention that it is all too familiar - the denial, confusion of guilt and shame, hiding the struggle because pretending is the only way to survive.
The best thing about this book is something highlighted in Lucia's words. Being a survivor is lonely, exhausting and excruciating. It feels like everyone is telling you that what you think happened didn't actually happen or maybe it did but it wasn't a big deal or it happened a long time ago so why bring it up now? The best that I CHOOSE ELENA has to offer is a metaphorical shoulder to cry on the bittersweet cathartic words of Me Too.
sirri_sivutiella's review against another edition
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
3.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Chronic illness, Sexual violence, Medical trauma, Violence, Suicidal thoughts, and Rape
booksbecreads's review against another edition
4.0
This covers two topics that are starting to be more widely written and read about but need to continue to be - sexual assault/rape and chronic illnesses (invisible particularly)
I hope people continue to write their stories and I hope people listen, really listen
"One way or another the body keeps score"
I hope people continue to write their stories and I hope people listen, really listen
"One way or another the body keeps score"
jaclyn_sixminutesforme's review against another edition
5.0
Having read and loved [b:My Body Keeps Your Secrets|57357165|My Body Keeps Your Secrets|Lucia Osborne-Crowley|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1615277960l/57357165._SY75_.jpg|89770735], I knew I wanted to go back and read Osborne-Crowley's memoir-essay.
One of the elements that makes me gravitate to Osborne-Crowley's writing is its innate self-awareness and introspection - as a reader, I felt brought along on the journey this takes into the traumas the author is healing from and growing through. I also was mesmerised but the way Osborne-Crowley grapples with her subject matter, reminding me a lot of the writing I have enjoyed most by other Australian writers including [a:Bri Lee|17890581|Bri Lee|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1634705588p2/17890581.jpg]. The way the body is both a physical site as well as this distanced other when considered in light of trauma(s), orbiting an identity like a satellite rather than moving with any kind of symbiosis. The book feels like the author is walking back her self and her body in a literal way, the choice to reconnect the two and approach healing on this multi-faceted front a particularly moving takeaway for me reading this. "But slowly I realised that getting better meant being brave enough to occupy my body again. To be brave enough to feel the pain of it, the weakness of it, to bear witness to how broken it had become. It was only once I started to do that that my body and I started to understand each other."
That said, I found the acknowledgement that healing from trauma isn't about reaching a happy ending incredibly empowering, Osborne-Crowley asks her readers "So what do you do, when you discover how much culpability there is, just how many layers this disappointment has. What do you do when winning the battle has only opened your eyes to the breadth of the war."
Read if you enjoyed [b:Eggshell Skull|39675781|Eggshell Skull|Bri Lee|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1522303597l/39675781._SY75_.jpg|61270801], [b:Know My Name|50196744|Know My Name|Chanel Miller|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1567612158l/50196744._SX50_SY75_.jpg|73239835], [b:The Mother Wound|57650420|The Mother Wound|Amani Haydar|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1623293339l/57650420._SY75_.jpg|90298778], [b:Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body|26074156|Hunger A Memoir of (My) Body|Roxane Gay|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1448064366l/26074156._SY75_.jpg|42362558], [b:Writing into the Wound: Understanding trauma, truth, and language|57042802|Writing into the Wound Understanding trauma, truth, and language|Roxane Gay|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1613634002l/57042802._SX50_.jpg|89260581], and anything by [a:Elena Ferrante|44085|Elena Ferrante|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1635020942p2/44085.jpg] (the title connection will make you want to read the Neapolitan Quartet!).
One of the elements that makes me gravitate to Osborne-Crowley's writing is its innate self-awareness and introspection - as a reader, I felt brought along on the journey this takes into the traumas the author is healing from and growing through. I also was mesmerised but the way Osborne-Crowley grapples with her subject matter, reminding me a lot of the writing I have enjoyed most by other Australian writers including [a:Bri Lee|17890581|Bri Lee|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1634705588p2/17890581.jpg]. The way the body is both a physical site as well as this distanced other when considered in light of trauma(s), orbiting an identity like a satellite rather than moving with any kind of symbiosis. The book feels like the author is walking back her self and her body in a literal way, the choice to reconnect the two and approach healing on this multi-faceted front a particularly moving takeaway for me reading this. "But slowly I realised that getting better meant being brave enough to occupy my body again. To be brave enough to feel the pain of it, the weakness of it, to bear witness to how broken it had become. It was only once I started to do that that my body and I started to understand each other."
That said, I found the acknowledgement that healing from trauma isn't about reaching a happy ending incredibly empowering, Osborne-Crowley asks her readers "So what do you do, when you discover how much culpability there is, just how many layers this disappointment has. What do you do when winning the battle has only opened your eyes to the breadth of the war."
Read if you enjoyed [b:Eggshell Skull|39675781|Eggshell Skull|Bri Lee|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1522303597l/39675781._SY75_.jpg|61270801], [b:Know My Name|50196744|Know My Name|Chanel Miller|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1567612158l/50196744._SX50_SY75_.jpg|73239835], [b:The Mother Wound|57650420|The Mother Wound|Amani Haydar|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1623293339l/57650420._SY75_.jpg|90298778], [b:Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body|26074156|Hunger A Memoir of (My) Body|Roxane Gay|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1448064366l/26074156._SY75_.jpg|42362558], [b:Writing into the Wound: Understanding trauma, truth, and language|57042802|Writing into the Wound Understanding trauma, truth, and language|Roxane Gay|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1613634002l/57042802._SX50_.jpg|89260581], and anything by [a:Elena Ferrante|44085|Elena Ferrante|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1635020942p2/44085.jpg] (the title connection will make you want to read the Neapolitan Quartet!).
josephinecatherine's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
medium-paced
5.0
Short and powerful book. Lucia Osborne-Crowley is quickly becoming a favourite author.
tasmanian_bibliophile's review against another edition
5.0
‘Growing up, I was a gymnast.’
When Lucia Osborne-Crowley was fifteen years old, she was violently raped in Sydney. She didn’t speak of this rape for ten years. Before the rape, Ms Osborne-Crowley was a young woman on track to be an Olympic gymnast. After the rape, she was chronically ill. In this courageous, confronting but uplifting book and in fewer than 150 pages, Ms Osborne-Crowley writes of her journey.
‘Shame really is the closest thing to death.’
I read this book wondering how many of us do not report rape because of our shame. I wonder how many of us can relate to this:
‘I was so ashamed of my past that I punished myself by recreating it.’
It takes great courage to confront such experiences and to talk about them. It often seems easier, in the short-term at least, to bury the experiences. But such buried experiences fester. Ms Osborne Crowley has had to deal with chronic illness (in the forms of endometriosis and Crohn’s Disease). Both are life-changing inflammatory diseases: I’ve had my own experience with endometriosis.
This book touches on a possible relationship between untreated trauma and chronic illness: I’d like to learn more about this.
Ms Osborne-Crowley read Elena Ferrante’s novels, and made a symbolic choice which is represented in the title:
‘I can choose to be influenced by a violent man in an abandoned bathroom or I can choose to be influenced by the strength and honesty of Elena.’
This is less a memoir than a personal account of a long health-related journey. Ms Osborne-Crowley’s focus is on learning and healing. And sharing.
‘Because of my silence the damage done to me is irreversible.’
Highly recommended.
Jennifer Cameron-Smith
When Lucia Osborne-Crowley was fifteen years old, she was violently raped in Sydney. She didn’t speak of this rape for ten years. Before the rape, Ms Osborne-Crowley was a young woman on track to be an Olympic gymnast. After the rape, she was chronically ill. In this courageous, confronting but uplifting book and in fewer than 150 pages, Ms Osborne-Crowley writes of her journey.
‘Shame really is the closest thing to death.’
I read this book wondering how many of us do not report rape because of our shame. I wonder how many of us can relate to this:
‘I was so ashamed of my past that I punished myself by recreating it.’
It takes great courage to confront such experiences and to talk about them. It often seems easier, in the short-term at least, to bury the experiences. But such buried experiences fester. Ms Osborne Crowley has had to deal with chronic illness (in the forms of endometriosis and Crohn’s Disease). Both are life-changing inflammatory diseases: I’ve had my own experience with endometriosis.
This book touches on a possible relationship between untreated trauma and chronic illness: I’d like to learn more about this.
Ms Osborne-Crowley read Elena Ferrante’s novels, and made a symbolic choice which is represented in the title:
‘I can choose to be influenced by a violent man in an abandoned bathroom or I can choose to be influenced by the strength and honesty of Elena.’
This is less a memoir than a personal account of a long health-related journey. Ms Osborne-Crowley’s focus is on learning and healing. And sharing.
‘Because of my silence the damage done to me is irreversible.’
Highly recommended.
Jennifer Cameron-Smith
hallohieranna's review against another edition
challenging
dark
reflective
tense
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault, Misogyny, Pedophilia, and Rape