Reviews

Unbecoming by Jenny Downham

lindseysparks's review against another edition

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4.0

The characters in this book felt really real. The events are normal. Nothing is melodramatic or unbelievable. It's about three generations of women and the secrets they keep, even from themselves. It's about how we never know the full story. It has a very sad very accurate portrayal of Alzheimer's. It was awful watching Mary's memories slip away and for her family members to have to deal with her confusion. I didn't realize this is considered YA until after I had reserved it and I'm a little surprised. One of the main characters in a teen, but it doesn't feel like YA to me. All three characters are well developed even though we only get the story from the perspective of the oldest and youngest. I liked that while there was a romance element it was secondary in the story. The main story was about the family. You don't tend to see a lot of stories featuring grandparents and I think that's part of what made me connect to this so much, although fortunately my mom and grandma have a much closer and nicer relationship than the one in the book. I also really liked Jack even though we never actually meet him. He seemed like a really amazing guy who was really dedicated to helping Mary as she lost her mind to Alzheimer's.

lindsey_kerrigan's review against another edition

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3.0

3.5 stars...I think... I have truely no idea, while reading this book my rating ranged from 2 stars to 4. This book didn't really do it for me. I liked the characters but the plot line was extremely dry. I liked the diversity aspect and there was an extreme amount of character development in this book. But I think that Katie's story was my favorite and although I liked Mary's flashbacks they would go on for a little too long sometimes. I also felt really really bad for Jamie my favorite scene in the book was when they met and I with it ended a little bit nicer. So all in all, I liked the diversity and character development otherwise the rest of the story was just meh. Note: it made me really happy that this was a British book, I don't know why but I really like British books:)

juli_ernesto's review against another edition

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DNF (55%)
demasiado aburrido, cada 20 pág explica lo mismo.

ashleighmacro's review against another edition

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5.0

This is one of my favourite books ever and I have no doubt it’ll be one of yours too.

Originally posted on my blog Ashleigh Online

Unbecoming became one of my favourite books after just a few pages. It’s one of the most touching and honest books about family I’ve ever read, and it’s going to be loved by so many people, I’m sure of it.

You’ll get to know Katie, Caroline and Mary, three generations of women with their own tales to tell. The story is told through various points of view including Mary’s, which is particularly enlightening because she has Alzheimers. Even though it’s incredibly sad to read, it’s so brilliantly well written that I feel like I understand a lot more about the terrifying disease and the effect it can have on the sufferer as well as their family. Mary’s chapters were among my favourites and made this book unlike any other novel I’ve come across.

What’s different about this family is that, until the point at which this novel begins, Katie and Caroline hardly knew Mary. Mary was very young when she had Caroline, so she left her for her older sister to raise. We’re treated to snippets of Caroline’s early days, when Mary was struggling with the decision she’d made, and later when Caroline was a little older and Mary was trying but failing to be a good mother. That’s all in addition to the present day when Mary’s condition is growing worse by the day and Caroline is finding it hard to care for her when she still holds such a grudge against her. But Katie finds a peculiar comfort in caring for Mary, who inspires her and understands her in a way that no one has done before. It’s so, so wonderful to read.

Unbecoming is a story about how complicated families can be but equally how important and beautiful they are. It’s about learning to love who you are and forgive yourself as well as others for what’s happened in the past. It’s about loss and secrets and unbreakable bonds that’ll always connect people no matter where they go or what they do.

This book is going to relate to so many people. For a start, there are three generations of women to connect with, so you’ll love this book no matter what age you are. Then there are the various issues that are so brilliantly dealt with, including Alzheimers, sexuality, disabilities (Katie’s younger brother suffers from some learning difficulties) and divorce. You’d think that the book would feel over-the-top with so many hard-hitting issues to squeeze in, but it’s been written so sensitively and so believably that you won’t feel like there’s too much going on even for one second. It also manages to avoid leaving you feeling down once it’s over – it’s strangely comforting and heartwarming and I can’t wait to read it again.

I’ll be recommending this book to lots of people and I’ll be lending my copy to anyone I can. It deserves to be read by everyone and everyone deserves to read it.

daffz's review against another edition

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5.0

I loved this book, and wish I knew of more like it. Seeing the three women from different generations and their struggles was really interesting, and I got wrapped up in the story. It did take me a little bit of time to get into it, but before long I was incredibly invested in Mary, Caroline and Katie.

Mary has forgotten most of her past, and bit by bit her story becomes more complete. Not without the help of Katie, who tries to find out about her family's history, as she has never known much about her family. In between them is Caroline, who is trying to forget and ignore the past. Unhappy about the circumstances of her mother coming to live with them, she poses the biggest obstacle in Katie getting to the truth. But in the end, she plays an as important role as the other two in completing the story.

All in all, a fascinating book. If you like family dramas and don't mind a bit of a slower read, I would really recommend this one.

elizzy_91's review against another edition

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4.0

Zusammenfassend
Als Jack, Marie's Freund, plötzlich verstirbt, wird Caroline angerufen und muss ihre Mutter im Krankenhaus abholen. Caroline, Katie's Mutter, ist gar nicht angetan und will Marie so schnell wie möglich wieder loswerden. Mit der Zeit erfährt man, das Caroline nicht von Marie sondern deren Schwester Pat grossgezogen wurde. So stellt sich heraus, das auch Marie für Caroline beinahe eine Fremde ist.

Doch wieso konnte Marie sie nicht grossziehen?
Wieso ist Caroline so verbittert und übervorsichtig?
Was verbirgt Caroline vor Katie und wieso weicht sie Fragen bezüglich ihrer Vergangenheit immer wieder aus?


"Zum Elternsein gehört mehr als Biologie, dazu braucht es Opferbereitschaft. Man kann nicht einfach in der Gegend rumlaufen und machen, wozu man gerade Lust hat." S. 22


Katie steht vor einer Fremden. Diese scheint aber ihre Grossmutter zu sein. Eine Grossmutter, die sie noch nie zuvor gesehen hatte.
Doch Katie fängt an sich für Marie zu interessieren und schliesst diese sofort in ihr Herz.
Nach anfänglichen Schwierigkeiten...
Wie soll Katie sie nennen? Gran? Oma? Sie entscheidet sich für Marie - ja Marie passt. Kommen Marie und Katie sich schnell näher und erleben tolle Tage miteinander.

Doch Katie kämpft mich sich selbst, auch sie hat ein Geheimnis.
Warum wird sie von ihrer besten Freundin gemieden?
Wieso sind die anderen Mädchen so gemein zu ihr?



"Hast du mir nicht immer gesagt, dass Mut dazugehört, man selbst zu sein?" S. 179


Marie, die an Demenz leidet, versucht sich immer wieder an einen bestimmten Ort, an ein bestimmtes Ereignis und an einen kostbaren Moment zu erinnern. Doch ihre Gedanken entgleiten ihr immer wieder. Sie schweift ab und ist oft in der Vergangenheit.

Wer war Marie?
Wieso lebte sie ohne Caroline in London?
Was war zwischen Pat und ihr?


"Liebe Caroline, dies ist die Botschaft von Deiner ersten Mami. Ja, du hast zwei davon! (...)" S. 222


Gefiel mir sehr
Ein Buch über eine Familie mit Wurzeln, die niemand anerkennen möchte.

Ich mochte Marie unglaublich gerne, sie ist witzig und Charmant, als jugendliche sogar kokett und abenteuerlustig! Mir gefiel ihre Geschichte und mir gefiel sehr, wie sich herausstellte, dass nicht alles so ist wie es am Anfang den Anschein machte.


Ich mochte auch sehr, wie die Geschichte aufgebaut war, mir gefielen die Rückblicke von Marie, sowie auch die Alltagserlebnisse von Katie.


Gefiel mir nicht
Ich fand es Schade, dass nicht aus der Sicht von Caroline geschrieben wurde. Den dadurch hätte man ihren Charakter vielleicht besser greifen / verstehen können.


Ich war öfters genervt von ihr, weil sie es allen immer so schwer machte, doch erst am Schluss, als sie sich auch etwas öffnet, wird einem ihr Charakter auch etwas näher gebracht.


Schreibstil & Cover
Ich finde das Cover sehr stimmig und beruhigend. Normalerweise bin ich kein Fan von Covern mit Gesichtern drauf, aber dieses hier gefällt mir Richtig gut.

Der Schreibstil ist frisch und flüssig, das mag ich sehr. Man war sofort in der Geschichte drin und die Wechsel zwischen Marie und Katie waren verständlich und störten den Geschichtsfluss nicht.



"Ein Baby wird mit über dreihundert Knochen geboren, doch während des Wachstums verfestigt sich Knorpelmasse, und kleinere Knochen wachsen zusammen, bis es am Ende nur noch zweihundertsechs sind. So vieles geht verloren, während Töchter aufwachsen." S. 429


Fazit
Eine tolle Geschichte über die Beziehung zwischen Mutter und Tochter.


Bewertung
Buchlänge ♥♥♥♥ (4/5)
Schreibstil ♥♥♥♥ (4/5)
Botschaft ♥♥♥ (3/5)
Lesevergnügen ♥♥♥♥ (4/5)

hihiheidi's review against another edition

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Felt too slow and bored me

jesscinco's review against another edition

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3.0

Katie's dealing with her parent's seperation and understanding her own sexuality. If that wasn't enough her long-lost grandmother reapears in her life after turning up with dementia. This book is all about family secrets and how there are two sides to every story. I can see a lot of potential in the author's writing. But it was a little slow to start for me, and wrapped up a little too nicely.

mindfullibrarian's review against another edition

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5.0

Just adored this. Possibly way more as a 35 year old woman than actual teens will, but the combo stories made it fitting for more than one audience to be sure.

ecote525's review against another edition

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4.0

4.5 stars...loved it.