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Graphic: Death, Mental illness, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Medical content, Suicide attempt, Injury/Injury detail
Minor: Ableism, Body shaming, Gun violence, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Racial slurs, Racism, Sexual content, Vomit, Religious bigotry, Fire/Fire injury, Alcohol, Sexual harassment
there are parts of esther that reflect the ugly parts inside of a lot of people, those parts we refuse to acknowledge. there is also a false sense of anachronism i place on women from the before the 21st century where i conceive them as entirely sentimentally different from women today. this book proves me wrong. insufferable as esther was at times, her (sometimes) feminist perspectives, particularly on men, was relatable. her rawness of her mental illness was incredibly effective. her humanity was so important. esther depicts the kind of internal monologue that makes me think she externally seems like a man entirely different girl. in that, i see myself, and i'm sure many other readers do too. again, she's horribly rude and intolerable at times, but what an interesting character that makes!
Graphic: Mental illness, Self harm, Suicide, Suicide attempt
Moderate: Death, Gore, Blood, Sexual harassment
Graphic: Death, Self harm, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Blood, Medical content, Medical trauma, Suicide attempt
Graphic: Death, Mental illness, Misogyny, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Suicide attempt, Alcohol, Injury/Injury detail
Graphic: Death, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Suicide attempt
Esther is a deeply real/emotional/hurt/traumatised and interesting character who is more and more obviously going through dread and is disillusioned about life, but I found it very well-done how she herself goes through the motions of her state of mind. There are glimpses here and there but she seems shut off from herself.
A few things happen I would have liked more details about (mainly later on) but they don’t affect the rating/experience. And I also want to add that I admire the way that it is implied rather than spelled out how Esther gets to where she does mentally and emotionally (bc body and mind are connected) and how the change happens gradually and inconspicuously (which is quite realistic).
The book is very well-written apart from some stereotypical language use here and there.
Graphic: Body horror, Body shaming, Death, Eating disorder, Fatphobia, Homophobia, Infidelity, Mental illness, Misogyny, Panic attacks/disorders, Racism, Self harm, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Forced institutionalization, Medical content, Grief, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Alcohol
Graphic: Mental illness, Misogyny, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Blood, Medical content, Medical trauma, Suicide attempt
Moderate: Death, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Suicide, Forced institutionalization, Vomit, Injury/Injury detail
Minor: Fatphobia, Infidelity, Racial slurs, Death of parent, Alcohol
Moderate: Suicidal thoughts
Minor: Death
Graphic: Mental illness, Racial slurs, Racism, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Blood, Vomit, Suicide attempt
Moderate: Death, Infidelity, Toxic relationship, Forced institutionalization, Xenophobia, Medical content, Medical trauma, Pregnancy, Toxic friendship
Minor: Misogyny, Sexism, Sexual content
Graphic: Death, Mental illness, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Suicide attempt