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Graphic: Death, Mental illness, Misogyny, Racial slurs, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Vomit, Medical content, Suicide attempt, Sexual harassment
Graphic: Death, Mental illness, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Forced institutionalization, Suicide attempt
Moderate: Death, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Suicide attempt
Graphic: Death, Mental illness, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Suicide attempt
Graphic: Mental illness, Self harm, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Blood, Medical content, Medical trauma, Suicide attempt, Schizophrenia/Psychosis
Moderate: Death, Fatphobia, Homophobia, Racial slurs, Racism, Death of parent, Lesbophobia
Moderate: Death, Mental illness, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt
Graphic: Death, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Medical content, Suicide attempt
Moderate: Sexual content
Minor: Vomit
Graphic: Death, Drug abuse, Mental illness, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Terminal illness, Medical content, Medical trauma, Suicide attempt
Moderate: Blood
It's truly fascinating to revisit an old favorite with more experience and wisdom than your younger self had. I resonated with The Bell Jar because it was one of those few stories which made me felt less alone. For all the books I was forced to read throughout high school and the plethora of characters I had to identify with, nothing struck as close to home as The Bell Jar had.
And it simultaneously pains and comforts me as an adult to know it still does.
There's something ephemeral about mental illness and I always felt poets captured that odd sensation better than most and with good reason - sometimes regular, structured prose fails to explain a sensation that is beyond conventional words. I'm sure plenty of people have or will read this book, who have never been depressed or anxious of manic a day in their lives, and not get it. As someone who continues to find balance with their fickle, elusive mind, I felt like I could have been Esther and Esther was me.
The prose is lovely, albeit too simple and unimaginative at times. It's great to see the subtle shifts in the narrative as Esther crumbles further into her depression. Her grandiose descriptions of everything and anything break down to barely comprehending the world around her. It's details like this that resonate with me while struggling with my own demons.
I will say that the first 25% left me wondering why I even liked this book to begin with. It takes some time to warm up to you and make sense as to what's going on, but it is a touch hard to settle into.
Sadly, this book is a culprit of "a product of its time" or whatever. I did not remember the blatant racism and fatphobia when I was younger; it freaking punched me in the face now. It was incredibly awful to read Esther describing these people as if they're not even human. Esther herself is described as a stick of a girl and when she gains twenty pounds later on, she says she looks like a pregnant woman. No you don't, sweetie. Can you just stop? If it wasn't for sections like this, I would've given this five stars.
Despite its flaws, this book remains an important book and it pains me that there haven't been many strides in the mental health community since this was published. Reading the sections about the various wards she was placed in alone reminded me that so little separated the standards from the 50s from what is in place now. A painful, yet cathartic read, but important nonetheless.
Graphic: Death, Mental illness, Self harm, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Forced institutionalization, Medical trauma, Suicide attempt
Moderate: Ableism, Adult/minor relationship, Body shaming, Drug use, Fatphobia, Racial slurs, Racism
Graphic: Death, Mental illness, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Forced institutionalization, Medical trauma, Suicide attempt
Graphic: Death, Mental illness, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Suicide attempt
Moderate: Eating disorder, Fatphobia, Homophobia, Racial slurs, Racism