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3.39 AVERAGE
3.39 AVERAGE
reflective
sad
medium-paced
I think this book came into my life at the wrong time... I appreciated Khakpour's illumination of lyme disease, but felt that how she had approached her illness in the past with unhealthy life choices was (reality but also) too frustrating to keep reading over and over. Very discouraging at a time when I didn't need to hear about a person choosing alcohol and drugs over a healthy lifestyle.
I did enjoy the writing style. She has a way with words!
I did enjoy the writing style. She has a way with words!
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
Chronic illness is one thing, chronic illness without the "safety" of having a diagnosis is another. It's a distinction I would not have considered before reading Khakpour's memoir. Her life feels like a mystery, attempting to discover the culprit making her sick - it feels frustrating and exhausting reading her account - I can't imagine being in her shoes. The writing, teaching, and fellowships she's managed throughout the years are amazing given her condition. Definitely an interesting read.
dark
emotional
sad
slow-paced
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Chronic illness, Mental illness, Medical content
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Chronic illness, Drug abuse, Drug use, Suicidal thoughts, Medical content, Medical trauma, Alcohol
Moderate: Ableism, Racism, Rape, Sexual assault, Car accident, Schizophrenia/Psychosis
Minor: Miscarriage
Sick is a memoir of Porochista Khakpour’s life with late-stage Lyme Disease. It's an examination of the nature of sickness and health - how fragile health is, and how frustratingly opaque the source of sickness can be. Khakpour’s depiction of her chronic disease – caused by a tick bite of unknown origin – gave me some much-needed perspective on what she describes as “an odd life, a waiting game, a rehabilitation, a strangely beautiful no-life.”
Khakpour is also a New York City transplant who long idolized the city from afar:
“My mind always went to literal distance, eyes on the globe landing without fail on New York. It’s hard to know if all the movies of the era did it, Fame and its many knockoffs, Annie and all the stories of rags-to-riches miracles in Manhattan, told me New York was the motherland for misfit creatives to thrive, for foreigners with big dreams, for girl authors.”
Location is everything in Sick - it’s the source of her mysterious illness, holds the possibility of healing, and serves as a metaphor for her body. Some of Khakpour’s beautiful writing about that sense of place is below:
“In telling this story, it occurred to me that it wasn’t character or plot or even theme that was the ruling principle of its composition, but something far less likely: setting. Location changes have been more than simple set switches for me. One could imagine the variations in physical location are what in some ways got me to illness - and Lyme disease - in the first place. It wasn’t Iran, but then was it California, was it New York, was it Pennsylvania, was it... where? I would be destined never to find the bite on the location of my body, just as I’d be destined never to know the location I was in when beat by the tick. The question of where would be the most mysterious of all.“
“My PTSD was always tied to setting. There was never a home for me as a human in the world. There was never a home for me outside as there was never a home for me inside - my own body didn’t feel like my own.”
“It has taken me many years to see my own shell, this very body, as a home of sorts. I can report that even now I struggle with this concept, that even as I type these words, something feels outside of myself. I sometimes wonder if I would have been less sick if I had had a home.”
Khakpour is also a New York City transplant who long idolized the city from afar:
“My mind always went to literal distance, eyes on the globe landing without fail on New York. It’s hard to know if all the movies of the era did it, Fame and its many knockoffs, Annie and all the stories of rags-to-riches miracles in Manhattan, told me New York was the motherland for misfit creatives to thrive, for foreigners with big dreams, for girl authors.”
Location is everything in Sick - it’s the source of her mysterious illness, holds the possibility of healing, and serves as a metaphor for her body. Some of Khakpour’s beautiful writing about that sense of place is below:
“In telling this story, it occurred to me that it wasn’t character or plot or even theme that was the ruling principle of its composition, but something far less likely: setting. Location changes have been more than simple set switches for me. One could imagine the variations in physical location are what in some ways got me to illness - and Lyme disease - in the first place. It wasn’t Iran, but then was it California, was it New York, was it Pennsylvania, was it... where? I would be destined never to find the bite on the location of my body, just as I’d be destined never to know the location I was in when beat by the tick. The question of where would be the most mysterious of all.“
“My PTSD was always tied to setting. There was never a home for me as a human in the world. There was never a home for me outside as there was never a home for me inside - my own body didn’t feel like my own.”
“It has taken me many years to see my own shell, this very body, as a home of sorts. I can report that even now I struggle with this concept, that even as I type these words, something feels outside of myself. I sometimes wonder if I would have been less sick if I had had a home.”
I listened to the audiobook of, "Sick," and had a lump in my throat for a good portion of this story. Khakpour narrates her own story of struggling with a chronic illness and her difficulties with getting answers on her failing body while fighting the racism of others during our tumultuous political years.
The author is an Iranian-American, a writer, and a lifelong sufferer of undiagnosed health problems. After spending over $100,000 on medical bills, she finally receives her answer that she has Lyme disease. In this tell-all, she shares about her own physical illness as well as her mental illness that is uncovered as she struggles with getting the answers and treatment she needs to move forward.
Unflinchingly, Porochista writes honestly about her addiction to prescribed benzodiazepines and how her illness strips her of her own identity as a writer as well as her difficulties in maintaining relationships with others when she is so sick.
If you struggle with a chronic illness (or have someone in your life who does), you will nod your head through large portions of this book and how your struggles often don't feel validated by others and the encouragements to, "just get over," your illness. Khakpour self-destructs through large portions of this book, which can be frustrating to hear as a reader, but those times of self-destruction are often warranted when you hear her raw and difficult journey to diagnosis.
The author is an Iranian-American, a writer, and a lifelong sufferer of undiagnosed health problems. After spending over $100,000 on medical bills, she finally receives her answer that she has Lyme disease. In this tell-all, she shares about her own physical illness as well as her mental illness that is uncovered as she struggles with getting the answers and treatment she needs to move forward.
Unflinchingly, Porochista writes honestly about her addiction to prescribed benzodiazepines and how her illness strips her of her own identity as a writer as well as her difficulties in maintaining relationships with others when she is so sick.
If you struggle with a chronic illness (or have someone in your life who does), you will nod your head through large portions of this book and how your struggles often don't feel validated by others and the encouragements to, "just get over," your illness. Khakpour self-destructs through large portions of this book, which can be frustrating to hear as a reader, but those times of self-destruction are often warranted when you hear her raw and difficult journey to diagnosis.
I'm definitely feeling the mixed reviews for this one. On the one hand, this moved along steadily and between the various extremes of her life (professor at one point, full drug addict at another) I was always entertained. However, the accounts of her illness are chaotic and difficult to follow. That's the point, and I appreciate that's how the experience is for her, but a memoir account of them probably wasn't the best choice. As others mentioned, Khakpour is just not likable. I can't put my finger on why-- she definitely exposes herself without holding back-- but I eyerolled at her more than I should have. Overall, I wouldn't recommend this unless someone has a particular interest in the subject matter.