4.05 AVERAGE


Fellas is it gay to make a painting of a beautiful woman and realize it bears an uncanny resemblance to your schoolboy friend who’s neck you used to smell in catholic school and then realize you painted his mom!!!!!

Another beautiful hesse, very similarly poignant in the way siddhartha was. Some of the philosophy stuff is a little obvious and i’m sure this was like the sophie’s choice of 1919.

a few points of consideration i’d like to ruminate on and they are as follows: courtly love, cain’s mark & third eyes, the spectre over europe, individualization versus community oriented values, worship & devotion, mystical secrets
dark reflective sad medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Complicated
Loveable characters: Complicated
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes
slow-paced
Loveable characters: No
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

this review is so messy but basically the picture of dorian grey meets catcher in the rye but nerfed and make religion a big motivation 

all this self loathing and existentialism when the main thing he was battling is his bisexuality 

at first i was intrigued by the themes of challenging religion/your beliefs + the philosophical aspects of it all but then sadly the story shifted to alternating between religions, following something and then switching to a different less ‘mainstream’ one then straight up theology essays (this pretty much sums 90% of the book) which was a downgrade. labelled as ’self discovery’ but is actually a religion journey with small (overall insufficient) touches on the philosophy of it which for me is weak dry and uninteresting- see maybe i’m alone with this one but i find religious themes boring and unoriginal (especially in relation to existentialism. most common, used, done before, ancient combination in literature ever, peep ‘holy’ books)
not even about what is the religion but its overall existence. the basic origin of the faith sits on the same needs and comes from the same place in each religion/spiritual ideology variation no matter what specific ‘unique’ beliefs people have and i respectfully don’t really value it or care for the entire thing.

plot wise nothing else was really explored especially towards the middle and later chapters, what did exist was just bizarre unrealistic and ridiculous, also he was at times deranged and too dramatic about the silliest things, i’m all for theatrical characters but the further we got in the story the coo cooer this dude was getting. men
the message ended up being semi atheistic and more importantly human based focusing back on society and finding meaning in the present and your own life so i’ll cut it some slack.

the prose was indeed philosophical and mostly good but it offers nothing special and i wasn’t wooed or too entertained. also how was i supposed to take this seriously when this guy is head over heals lusting over his (older) best friend’s mother while everyone involved is aware and ok with that (yes.) the descriptions with that context were *hilarious* (it’s either mocking it or being disturbed)
lot of aspects were laughable and otiose and i mostly complain in this review but i do think it was thought provoking and kinda memorable? i guess idk

i know that technically by the last two chapters or so we got a glimpse of a female (*low-key arguable…) character (*that actually had lines and wasn’t only mentioned…) but still essentially the entire reading experience lacked it and i was *craving* it
me when books written by men have awfully written female characters: “bro wth if you can’t write women decently then just don’t write them at all!😒”
me when books written by men don’t have female characters at all: “bro wth this shit is so lame why aren’t there any women added to the plot?!😒”
hopeful inspiring reflective fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: No
Loveable characters: No
Diverse cast of characters: No

Coming-of-age literalized interiority abstraction. Best to go in not knowing anything about this, I think, as an explanation of “what is going on” is the only thing the fiction has to convey.
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes
reflective slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven: N/A
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: No
Diverse cast of characters: Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

I did not enjoy this book. Maybe I read this at the wrong time but I realised I did not care at all for the struggles of protagonist and I found the moral philosophy of the book dry and uninteresting. It reminded me at moments of the Picture of Dorian Gray but much I prefer that book to this.
reflective medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: N/A
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes
adventurous challenging mysterious reflective medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Complicated
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Complicated

Confusing & mystical, psychological & reflective, this book is a journey of self realization.