Reviews with content warning for Physical abuse - Detransition, Baby

Parenthood looks and means something different to everyone, and Detransition, Baby dives into what that might look like to a cis woman, a trans woman, and a former trans woman. We take a dual viewpoint from Reese, a trans woman, and Ames, a former trans woman. Exploring how their experience of gender has shaped their views of parenthood. The dual timeline simultaneously covers the years across Reese and Amy's romantic relationship, and the weeks following Ames discovering he has gotten Katrina pregnant. I lov d that the story centered on the hopes and dreams of trans women without saying away from their struggles.

I am a cis woman, of white and Asian decent, which is the lens I was reading this through. Ames brought an interesting discussion of gender and gave me a better understanding of gender dysphoria and maybe the reasons someone would choose to live as their birth gender. The dual timeline of Reese and Ames brings so much light to the daily joys of trans life, which I think will help a lot of cis readers to grow alongside Katrina. I think this would have been strengthened from including vignets or interludes from Katrina's perspective, which could have shown how she was navigating her own journey through parental identity. Katrina makes choices. Those choices are, interesting? I have no idea how she jumps to them other than plot.

The characters of Reese and Ames are so well developed that the lack of development in Katrina stands out as our main cast of 3. Peters prose is witty, funny, and easy to read. There are fun pop culture references thrown in throughout the pages, and I loved the nuanced gender conversations that occured. I wish Katrina's motivations were more clear to the reader, not front and center but in vignettes scattered throughout.

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zeus_strider's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

I find it hard to describe this book, I thoroughly enjoyed it but wouldn't recommend lightly.

This book uses the word

"transsexual"

a lot and frankly a lot of slurs, and if that is going to upset you I might recommend you skip this one.

With that being said this is a book about two terrible people who engage in self-destructive behavior that shows little indication of changing by the end of the book, Reese throws herself into abusive relationships seeking validation,
while Ames seeks to disassociate themselves because the pain of being present is too much for them to bear.

As a queer individual myself it is interesting to see queer characters who they themselves are not allies as counterintuitive as it is it does happen, Reese in particular is downright hateful of those around her, of those in her community and those of adjacenting communities, and quite frankly anyone who might treat her decently, I suspect that she believes everyone to be as hateful as she is which is what causes her to have such disdain in them which at times can be very difficult to read.

But overall it's very well written and an interesting view into a very different perspective.

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rumade's review against another edition

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dark emotional funny hopeful reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

Potential parenthood explored from a totally new angle through 3 characters, each flawed in their own special way. I found it really captivating, and had massive amounts of empathy for the characters, but the end felt a little rushed. The nature of the actual ending may really piss some people off too. I really liked that there's no clear "good" character or "bad" one.

One thing I really didn't like about the book is that for a story about trans people, it really trod the line of the gender binary. Ames, the character who detransitioned, at no point explores whether he may actually be non-binary of more gender fluid, despite never having committed to bottom surgery, and clearly having complicated feelings about gender. It also seemed very bizarre to me that at no point did Katrina solidly consider being a single mother, or even moving back in with her own mother or divorced friends and living that way. You were willing to consider sharing your baby with your baby daddy's ex but not raising a kid alone or with other family or friends???

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planning2read's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional funny hopeful sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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atuin's review

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challenging dark funny medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

A fascinating exploration of trans identity and relationships. This book focuses heavily on deeply flawed characters (especially Reese). Every character does deeply frustrating actions that nevertheless feel perfectly in character. There is discussion on how characters feel they must conform to certain stereotypes in order to validate their own gender identity, and the harm it does to them and the people they are close to. The ambiguous ending is indicative of the fact the book has no true answers to the many problems found within, and we, like the characters, have no choice but to try to figure out what solution is most fitting with the characters.

In particular, Reese became frustrating with her self destructive behavior and her refusal to learn from her mistakes, constantly doing the same thing over and over while refusing to accept responsibility. Even at the end she only felt bad about a mean letter, not the cheating or emotional abuse she committed.

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sedgewren's review against another edition

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emotional funny sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

An intimate portrait of three infuriating, vulnerable, and funny women who live in New York and navigate their way around queer relationships, the trials and pains of being trans, gender, and trauma. The cuttingly insightful observations of womanhood, motherhood, familial, platonic and not-so-platonic relationships made this book breathtaking and fascinating. I was rooting for them the whole way through, despite their frustrating but understandable inability to communicate straightforwardly.

I think the ending was very fitting, even though it felt like things reversed back to the status quo: Ames is still insecure in her gender; Reese still doesn't have a baby; Katherine will have an abortion and lose another baby; none of them were ever ready for a baby, despite how much they wanted a family together. It was probably the best ending that would've been believable (no sudden Disney glow-ups into becoming the perfect parent)

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kelseyleighpgh's review against another edition

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challenging emotional inspiring reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

This book is an absolute masterpiece. These characters and all they face will live on in my head for years to come. Torrey Peters has achieved a rare balance of poetic, descriptive writing while being grounded and accessible.

I’ve learned so much from this book and have much to reflect on about women in the broadest definition of the word and what it means to live as a woman - especially trans - in this moment in time.

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