Reviews tagging 'Mental illness'

The House of My Mother by Shari Franke

346 reviews

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I listed to this book in one day, I know quite a few things about this event so getting to hear Shari’s story was very inspiring. 

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I strongly recommend this memoir to anyone who has concerns about the repercussions of family channels and the monetization of online content containing children. I had been generally aware of the Eight Passengers channel and its disturbing content long before the arrest of Ruby and Jodi, so it was enlightening to get the full story from someone at the center of it all. Shari is an amazingly strong woman, and her commitment to her siblings is admirable. Although the chapters that chronicled the aftermath of the arrests felt less narratively cohesive, likely due to their recency, overall this memoir presents a thorough and alarming picture of childhood in front of a camera, rife with mental health struggles, abuse, and cult dynamics.

I share the critiques that others have already expressed: Shari's downplaying of her father's role abetting Ruby's abuse, especially in the early days, and her continued connection to the church that both fostered the toxic environment of her childhood and enabled the older man who groomed her in college. But at the end of the day, I just hope that this family is okay, and I trust that the Frankes themselves can give the best assessment of that. It does seem that Shari has developed a faith that is more personal and less centered on the institution of the church, which is promising. I also have a feeling that we will continue to hear from her in the future as she makes her way advocating for the rights of children online. I wish her and her 5 siblings all the best.

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I never consumed the 8 passengers content but hearing Shari's story in her own words is powerful. I really respect all the choices she made in regards to privacy and what parts were her own story to tell and what were other people's. 

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Shari Franke is unfailingly generous in her portrayal of her family members. Even in discussing the harm done by her parents, she offers a sympathetic description of them, discussing the small kindnesses and the moments of joy before and sometimes within the pain. She details exactly how they got from starting a vlog channel to make some extra money, to the point at which the world became aware of the abuse.This book explores in explicit detail both how family vlogging allowed their family to support themselves financially, and how it destroyed their family physically and mentally. Shari goes into detail about the trauma caused by her vulnerable teen years being plastered across the internet for everyone to see, and how editing can make horrors seem like sweet family moments on the screen.

I found it interesting that Franke stayed devout to her Mormon faith through everything she endured, as it played a large part in the damaging aspects of her upbringing. Still, as she expands on the community she's had and the ways in which the church emotionally and financially supported her mental health needs when her parents wouldn't, it makes sense. In the section discussing her mother and Jodi Hildebrand's sexual relationship in the span of time Jodi was living in Shari's bedroom, she is transparent about the issues she sees in the Mormon church that may have lead to the women's nightly semi-secret sexual liaison while they spewed virulent anti-LGBTQIA+ rhetoric in daily videos. Shari Franke expands on the differences in beliefs held by the younger generation of Mormons and the shifting beliefs of the Mormon church, wondering whether a more accepting church can help as a stop gap to keep more people from turning to hate and violence when they feel that they cannot be themselves.

Amid all of the sorrow and pain in this book, Franke is funny. This book reflects a lot on Franke's childhood, her family's history, and the ways in which her internal life differed from what she shared online. She integrates portions of her old journals and Mormon scripture to help differentiate between sections of the book. Overall, it's well written and engaging. It's one of the best nonfiction books I've read about recent events, in a long time.

I am like 50% sure I watched one Shari Franke school day vlog when I was a teenager, and even then, I found it weird that she was allowed to share so much of herself publicly on the internet at such a young age. I wish her parents had protected her and her siblings better, and I wish there was more done to protect the rights of children to bodily autonomy and privacy, but I hope her testimony can be a step towards taking down family channels and other online platforms that exist solely off the exploitation of children.

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This book is a beautifully written memoir of a child growing up in the spotlight while suffering from abuse.  It's heartbreaking, yet hopeful.  I never watched videos from 8 passengers, but I certainly heard the news about the arrests of the mother and her therapist.  While voyeurs who want the gross details about the younger children's physical abuse will be disappointed, I appreciated that the author only focused on what she endured and witnessed.

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