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clarkf87's review
5.0
“If I Tell You The Truth” by Jasmin Kaur
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
This novel was intense, beautiful, lyrical, heart wrenching and so much more. The story is about an Indian woman, Kiran, who is sexually assaulted and flees to Canada to escape judgement and raise her child. Her daughter, Sahaara, takes over the second half of the book to share how she learns how she was conceived. It comes with a lot of trigger warnings, but this story is—hands down—worth all the stress and anxiety as you follow them on this journey toward justice.
The book was a mix between prose, poetry and illustrations in an intricate and intimate viewpoint of a refugee and her daughter.
A masterpiece of fiction.
****
Favorite passages:
he didn’t understand
that to sniff the petals of this fantasy
was to prick myself on its thorns
does it count if the sparks are different?
if there’s still a ghost of another boy
somewhere within you
made only of apricot-sweet memories
pink
juicy
no sign of the bruising or the rot?
I pass him both my and Mom’s documents and attempt the smile that every person of color has mastered. The one that reads, “I’m thoroughly nonthreatening. Please don’t pull me aside and racially profile me.”
nothing on Google maps could have prepared me
for the endless beauty of this jade terrain
…
isn’t it beautiful
the way rising up high
can make all our problems
seem so small?
“Aren’t we familiar with toxic fumes masked as beauty?”
Right now I do not touch the same earth where he dwells. Right now, we are out of his reach. But the moment of comfort is just that: a moment. A short-lived spark that dies, forcing my eyes to adjust to the darkness. I live in a world where powerful men can have the truth of their actions shined bright in their faces only to smile. Only to live comfortably in their bodies as if they cannot remember the violence. Only to teach the masses how to forget.
“This world makes us feel like our stories begin and end with men—the ones who want us or don’t want us or hurt us or love us. But if I’ve learned anything, it’s that happiness doesn’t need to hinge on the boy you end up with. … You can choose yourself, too.”
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
This novel was intense, beautiful, lyrical, heart wrenching and so much more. The story is about an Indian woman, Kiran, who is sexually assaulted and flees to Canada to escape judgement and raise her child. Her daughter, Sahaara, takes over the second half of the book to share how she learns how she was conceived. It comes with a lot of trigger warnings, but this story is—hands down—worth all the stress and anxiety as you follow them on this journey toward justice.
The book was a mix between prose, poetry and illustrations in an intricate and intimate viewpoint of a refugee and her daughter.
A masterpiece of fiction.
****
Favorite passages:
he didn’t understand
that to sniff the petals of this fantasy
was to prick myself on its thorns
does it count if the sparks are different?
if there’s still a ghost of another boy
somewhere within you
made only of apricot-sweet memories
pink
juicy
no sign of the bruising or the rot?
I pass him both my and Mom’s documents and attempt the smile that every person of color has mastered. The one that reads, “I’m thoroughly nonthreatening. Please don’t pull me aside and racially profile me.”
nothing on Google maps could have prepared me
for the endless beauty of this jade terrain
…
isn’t it beautiful
the way rising up high
can make all our problems
seem so small?
“Aren’t we familiar with toxic fumes masked as beauty?”
Right now I do not touch the same earth where he dwells. Right now, we are out of his reach. But the moment of comfort is just that: a moment. A short-lived spark that dies, forcing my eyes to adjust to the darkness. I live in a world where powerful men can have the truth of their actions shined bright in their faces only to smile. Only to live comfortably in their bodies as if they cannot remember the violence. Only to teach the masses how to forget.
“This world makes us feel like our stories begin and end with men—the ones who want us or don’t want us or hurt us or love us. But if I’ve learned anything, it’s that happiness doesn’t need to hinge on the boy you end up with. … You can choose yourself, too.”
dipali17's review against another edition
5.0
** A copy of If I Tell You the Truth was provided by the publisher and Edelweiss+ in exchange for an honest review **
Oh my gosh! This is so so sooooo good. It is beautifully written and oh-so powerful. And that cover - can't wait to get my hands on a hardback so it matches with the first. I think I highlighted at least half the book and will definitely keep coming back to some of the poetry. I didn't think it was possible but I honestly think this is better than Jasmin's debut. I can't wait to see what she does next.
Oh my gosh! This is so so sooooo good. It is beautifully written and oh-so powerful. And that cover - can't wait to get my hands on a hardback so it matches with the first. I think I highlighted at least half the book and will definitely keep coming back to some of the poetry. I didn't think it was possible but I honestly think this is better than Jasmin's debut. I can't wait to see what she does next.
siyakashyap's review
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.5
shannonion's review
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
balto_hon's review
5.0
Thank you Netgalley for the ARC of this book.
I appreciate those times when I simply cannot put a book down and when I reach the end of the book, I wish I knew what happened next in the lives of the characters. This book provided that experience.
This is the story of family, both biological and chosen. The plot spans 20 years in the lives of a Punjabi mother who relocates to Canada, pregnant as the result of an act of violence. She spends years undocumented while her daughter grows up keeping secrets. The daughter questions the lack of extended family and her parentage: is it better to know, even if one is the result of rape, or is it better to live in ignorance?
The mother and daughter make a new family in Canada, one comprised of a college friend and her mother. Their presence in the story shows the lengths that women often go to support and protect one another. It also shows that speaking out can lead to questions and catharsis at the same time.
The format of the story itself is the shining star. Told in a mixture of prose, verse, and text message screenshots (cracked screens and all), the lyricism sings. There were chapters that simply left me breathless such as “Joti Told Me”: “that love was a heavier anchor/than the currents that tried/to force us apart.” The verse lacks punctuation and capitalization in the vein of e.e. cummings but packs an emotional punch like Elizabeth Acevedo.
I appreciate those times when I simply cannot put a book down and when I reach the end of the book, I wish I knew what happened next in the lives of the characters. This book provided that experience.
This is the story of family, both biological and chosen. The plot spans 20 years in the lives of a Punjabi mother who relocates to Canada, pregnant as the result of an act of violence. She spends years undocumented while her daughter grows up keeping secrets. The daughter questions the lack of extended family and her parentage: is it better to know, even if one is the result of rape, or is it better to live in ignorance?
The mother and daughter make a new family in Canada, one comprised of a college friend and her mother. Their presence in the story shows the lengths that women often go to support and protect one another. It also shows that speaking out can lead to questions and catharsis at the same time.
The format of the story itself is the shining star. Told in a mixture of prose, verse, and text message screenshots (cracked screens and all), the lyricism sings. There were chapters that simply left me breathless such as “Joti Told Me”: “that love was a heavier anchor/than the currents that tried/to force us apart.” The verse lacks punctuation and capitalization in the vein of e.e. cummings but packs an emotional punch like Elizabeth Acevedo.
buffy87's review
4.0
4.5/5 until it settles in me
Update: now that it's settled, I still think it's a 4.5/5.
If you're Punjabi, just read this. I felt seen across so many different levels it astounded me. I am absolutely in love with the writing - it was written FOR us. There is NO pandering to goray in this entire book and I loved to just seamlessly read between English and the little Punjabi that is there. Nothing has to be hyperexplained. It just IS.
The only reason it's not a 5/5 is because the final third of the book didn't fit inside my heart like the puzzle piece I expected it to. Closure was needed by the characters but it's tough how it happens. That part seemed the most unrealistic portion but I'm not entirely mad about it. Afterall, this was a fictional piece of work.
*********
Read If You're Interested In
- the Punjabi experience
- immigrant experience, second-generation experience
- Sexual Assault survivorship
- Prose and Poetry used together flawlessly
- an exploration of mother-daughter relationships across generations
Recommendations
Adult: a resounding FUCK YES
High School: YES
Junior High: yes with trigger warnings
Elementary: no
Update: now that it's settled, I still think it's a 4.5/5.
If you're Punjabi, just read this. I felt seen across so many different levels it astounded me. I am absolutely in love with the writing - it was written FOR us. There is NO pandering to goray in this entire book and I loved to just seamlessly read between English and the little Punjabi that is there. Nothing has to be hyperexplained. It just IS.
The only reason it's not a 5/5 is because the final third of the book didn't fit inside my heart like the puzzle piece I expected it to. Closure was needed by the characters but it's tough how it happens. That part seemed the most unrealistic portion but I'm not entirely mad about it. Afterall, this was a fictional piece of work.
*********
Read If You're Interested In
- the Punjabi experience
- immigrant experience, second-generation experience
- Sexual Assault survivorship
- Prose and Poetry used together flawlessly
- an exploration of mother-daughter relationships across generations
Recommendations
Adult: a resounding FUCK YES
High School: YES
Junior High: yes with trigger warnings
Elementary: no
melhara's review
5.0
4.5/5
This was a powerful story that focuses on very heavy and important themes of sexual assault and being an undocumented immigrant. It's also a book about female empowerment and motherhood.
The story is told from two POVs and timelines - Kiran, and her daughter Sahaara. When Kiran became pregnant after being sexually assaulted, no one believed that the honourable Ahluwalia was capable of doing such a thing. Even Kiran's own family turned their backs on her. Left with no choice, Kiran flees to Canada and overstays her student visa to raise her child far from the man who abused her and the family who abandoned her. But fleeing to Canada doesn't even begin to solve her problems. Being undocumented and a victim of assault means living in constant fear. It also means a strained relationship with her daughter. How much should Kiran tell Sahaara? How would this information impact Sahaara's life?
This book did such a fantastic job exploring the generational trauma left behind by victims of sexual assault. It also did a great job addressing the prejudices and discrimination against marginalized women, especially women of colour, undocumented immigrants, victims of sexual assault, and single mothers.
And that was just the first half of the book.
The second half of the book focuses primarily on Sahaara's story, and how she coped with learning the truth about her mother's past. She encourages her mother to speak out against her rapist, who is now a prominent politician in Punjab. Speaking out against such a powerful figure is both terrifying and potentially dangerous.
While the writing and poetry for the most part was beautiful, I think I would have preferred if this was a novel-in-verse, rather than a series of poems scattered throughout the novel. Regardless, this was an extremely memorable and emotional book.
This was a powerful story that focuses on very heavy and important themes of sexual assault and being an undocumented immigrant. It's also a book about female empowerment and motherhood.
The story is told from two POVs and timelines - Kiran, and her daughter Sahaara. When Kiran became pregnant after being sexually assaulted, no one believed that the honourable Ahluwalia was capable of doing such a thing. Even Kiran's own family turned their backs on her. Left with no choice, Kiran flees to Canada and overstays her student visa to raise her child far from the man who abused her and the family who abandoned her. But fleeing to Canada doesn't even begin to solve her problems. Being undocumented and a victim of assault means living in constant fear. It also means a strained relationship with her daughter. How much should Kiran tell Sahaara? How would this information impact Sahaara's life?
This book did such a fantastic job exploring the generational trauma left behind by victims of sexual assault. It also did a great job addressing the prejudices and discrimination against marginalized women, especially women of colour, undocumented immigrants, victims of sexual assault, and single mothers.
And that was just the first half of the book.
The second half of the book focuses primarily on Sahaara's story, and how she coped with learning the truth about her mother's past. She encourages her mother to speak out against her rapist, who is now a prominent politician in Punjab. Speaking out against such a powerful figure is both terrifying and potentially dangerous.
if i speak out about ahluwalia i'm drawing attention to us
but if i don't speak out i'm letting him get away
but if i speak out i'm putting us in danger
but if i don't speak out i'm putting others in danger
but if i speak out i'm diving head-first into the memories
but if i don't speak out i'll be haunted by him forever
but if i speak out they could all call me a liar
but if i don't speak out they'll call another woman's accusation baseless
but if i -
While the writing and poetry for the most part was beautiful, I think I would have preferred if this was a novel-in-verse, rather than a series of poems scattered throughout the novel. Regardless, this was an extremely memorable and emotional book.
twiinklex's review
4.0
4.5⭐️
An incredible read, made all the more powerful through the creative combination of prose, poetry and illustrations.
This book does a terrific job in telling the story of so many profiles (sexual assault survivors, undocumented immigrants, single parents, teen mothers) and the obstacles/stigma that they face, and giving them a voice.
Kiran and Sahaara are characters you'll want to root for. Their strength, bravery, courage and spirit left me wowed. Fictional characters they might be, but their experiences are all too real.
An incredible read, made all the more powerful through the creative combination of prose, poetry and illustrations.
This book does a terrific job in telling the story of so many profiles (sexual assault survivors, undocumented immigrants, single parents, teen mothers) and the obstacles/stigma that they face, and giving them a voice.
Kiran and Sahaara are characters you'll want to root for. Their strength, bravery, courage and spirit left me wowed. Fictional characters they might be, but their experiences are all too real.
✨"This life has taught me that sometimes, the most beautiful humans find themselves in painful situations. That doesn't mean they're not worth fighting for."
✨"It is an act of bravery to live through hell and run from it when we have been made to believe that running is far more dangerous than staying."
✨"This world makes us feel like our stories begin and end with men — the ones who want us or don't want us or hurt us or love us. But if I've learned anything, it's that happiness doesn't need to hinge on the boy you end up with. You can choose yourself, too."