Reviews

Cryptofauna by Patrick Canning

faithtrustpixiedust's review

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1.0

I received a free audiobook copy from the author in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of this book in any way.

I got an email from the author back in 2019 requesting a review of this book, and I didn't really get to it until today. I'm pretty glad I went with the Audible audiobook option when given the choice (alternatively, I could have gotten a paperback but I'm glad an innocent tree wasn't desecrated in this way). I had high hopes initially and vetted the offer before accepting it. It seemed to be like an adult version of Percy Jackson with some Ready Player One vibes, but satirical like [b:Peril in the Old Country|38189809|Peril in the Old Country (Terribly Serious Darkness, #1)|Sam Hooker|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1516768211l/38189809._SY75_.jpg|59781923], another indie fantasy comedy (and a book I quite liked). Unbeknownst to me, the Ready Player One comparison was more accurate than the other two: this book was offensive nonsense written by a middle-aged man who thinks he's way funnier than he actually is.

Despite the audiobook narrator's best efforts, this journey was boring, abhorrent, and gave me a splitting headache. If you think frequent racial and homophobic slurs and/or suicide are funny, then I guess you'll like this. If you're not a trash goblin, then you won't. I don't make the rules, and apparently, neither does Canning, for nothing was explained.

If you want to die of alcohol poisoning, take a shot every time the word "cryptofauna" comes up, especially if you don't understand what it means. Because, despite the definition provided in the beginning, the word is never defined with any degree of clarity. Is it a being or a concept? Beyond that, there were non-sequiturs in place of transitions, and the plot felt incredibly jumbled. What was clearly supposed to be a humorous, Odyssean tale was rendered a confusing mess lacking logic, stakes, or momentum.

In terms of the supposed humor, it wasn't always so bad, but it was never good, if you get me. Some jokes, on their own, might have been enough to drag a short nose exhale out of me, but unfortunately, my face was contorted into a grimace throughout and I didn't have the brain cells left to order the chuckle. This felt like the kind of humor in South Park, where everything is overtly sexual for no reason and nothing is safe from ridicule. When the only character who has any redeeming qualities whatsoever is literally the dog, you know there's a problem.

I guess I should have known this would be a dud for me. I didn't realize until I'd already started reading it that this is urban fantasy (for some reason, many reviews seem to think this is a satire of epic/high fantasy, but lol no? maybe in the journey aspect, but this was almost point by point a Percy Jackson-esque world, only horny and racist). Not that I hate urban fantasy on principle—quite the opposite, actually; I really like it! What I don't like is real-world insertion à la actual historical figures or events secretly being a part of or the result of the magic world. The intention there is to ground the reader, but it actually just makes me viscerally angry and takes me out of the story (that is, if I was ever invested to begin with, which I was not here).

The writing style alone, besides all of the above, was abrupt and very passive. I felt distanced from everything happening and never got a handle on what the main character was like or why he was the way he was. Nothing felt tangible. I never knew where the characters were or why.

I briefly bought the Kindle edition to follow along, but returned it about a chapter in when I realized that this book was awful. I ended up listening to the audiobook at 3x speed just to finish it sooner because I didn't want to DNF. I can't comprehend who this book was for, as no audience comes to mind other than Canning himself and perhaps some deranged close friends who I want nothing to do with. I feel like I'm on crazy pills since most people gave this book glowing reviews. Do most people have a horrible sense of humor or were they bribed? It's difficult to know for sure.

bethtabler's review

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4.0

Cryptofauna is a crazy batshit insane book. But in a good way. It is almost impossible to describe the plot to you, and If I even tried you would look at me like I lost my damn mind. Imagine writing a bunch of randomly selected nouns on papers, tossing them in a hat and producing a great story out of them. That is what Patrick Canning did.

Nouns include a Job at an insane asylum, cilantro, a bag of ash, the color blue, a dog, a Belgian, being marooned, leprous long living French monks, a body press made of mint, and shape-shifting animals.

That is just the start. It is a fantastically strange book where you completely fall in love with the characters and cheer Jim and his cohorts on in the grand competition. You want Jim to win, and you want to keep reading to see what else Canning can pull out of a hat. It is a great adventure, well worth checking out. You will not believe the Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy/Alice in Wonderland type journey the author will take you on. Give it a try.

faemorgan's review

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3.0

Received a free copy through Voracious Readers. This has been in my pile of books from them for a small while now. And I honestly am unsure of how to process or feel. 3.75 stars.
This book is a little slow to get into, and at times it can be a little confusing, but it definitely has solid finish. I've seen a comment describing it as if Alice in Wonderland meets The Hitchhiker's Guides to the Galaxy and I think description fits perfectly with it also taking place on Earth. I liked it, there were definitely one or two lines that made me laugh and I have to say that it was the characters that kept me hooked. Whip, Jim, and Mars especially. Oz was definitely had a lot of character, as did Buck. Zoè was a character with a lot of backstory and I liked that she got to be mostly part of the action, towards the end. Panzer was a character that I wanted a little more of. Boyd didn't like him and that was the point of his character, so yeah.

thelauramay's review

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5.0

This book is quite the ride. While I found the opening chapter a little too pretentiously weird (think 'spork' level randomness), I'm glad I persevered. This is an excellent book.

_sequel_'s review

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adventurous funny lighthearted tense fast-paced

4.5

secre's review

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lighthearted medium-paced

1.5

When I first started this, I thought that the dry and slightly bonkers humour would appeal to me, and it did to start with. But it quickly devolved into what I assume to be an attempt at satire for epic fantasy and I started to struggle to keep focus and engagement. There's a huge cast of characters, a completely crazy plot that leaps around like a goat on psychedelic drugs, and the pacing was just strange - sometimes focusing on the minuscule for pages and sometimes skipping over chunks of time or important events with a sentence or two.

It's bizarre and frequently entertaining, but it's also confusing as hell and doesn't seem to stick with anything long enough to decide what it's actually trying to be. You leap about a strange world where all sorts of random stuff happens, the rules of reality are clearly there to be ignored and twisted and the whole thing is somehow set in a giant game of Cryptofauna which is never properly explained or defined to the reader... or the players for that matter. Everything just felt... random and rather absurd and it was difficult to care about consequences when the characters ignored them so easily and just did whatever random crap came into their heads.

All in all, I think the author has promise. His writing style is entertaining, but he needs a sensible narrative, a beginning, middle and end and to be willing to actually explain his world building for his novels to work. This felt like every random thought from the last decade had been chucked into a pile and somehow a semblance of a plot was forced from it. It... was odd... slightly nonsensical... completely random and rather difficult to read.

Many thanks to BookSirens and the author for my free review copy of this title. 

hilaryistired's review

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3.0

I received a copy of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review.

Every so often, you come across a book that leaves you wondering if you should be looking into psychedelic drugs, because you realize that your reality is rather limited.

This is definitely one of those books. I spent half of this confused and disoriented (in a good way!) and the other half just amazed at how out there it was and how the author pulled it together. I kept thinking through this book that there was no way it was all going to make sense and come together, and yet, it worked so well. It's still a bit out there for my general tastes, but it was still one of the most unique books I've ever read.

The Good Points of Cryptofauna:

The whole concept of Cryptofauna and the world it exists in is absolutely brilliant. It starts out a bit confusing and you're not given a lot of information for quite a while, but it's so cool once it's all explained. 

I really liked the characters throughout the story. Though some are rather strange, they're all unique and interesting, and it's fascinating to follow them through the game and as they get faced with different situations. The main character, Jim, and what he does over the course of his journey is particularly interesting.

I liked the pacing throughout this book. It does go a little crazy with descriptions at times, and can be dense, but it moves along well, and it doesn't spend so long on anything that you get bored of it.

The Downsides of Cryptofauna:

While the writing is good, I felt like it took so long to get to the point of a scene. So many parts could have been explained more succinctly and it wouldn't have taken anything away from the book. 

As well - and this is totally me being fussy - some of the chapters were way too long. My kindle saying that it's going to take me over 30 minutes to read a chapter is just off putting. I wish the longer chapters were broken up a bit more.

All in all, I'm still not 100% sure what to make of this book, but it was one of the strangest, most intriguing things I've ever read. I've seen some other comparisons to Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and can totally see where that comes from. If you enjoy really strange but unique stories, new takes on challenges and games, and interesting characters, you should definitely check out Cryptofauna!

thoroughlymodernreviewer's review

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4.0

(Thanks to the author for providing a copy of the book in exchange for a fair review.)

While lots of great science fiction takes lots of effort to tell stories that take a magnifying glass to the worse parts of humanity, sometimes it's just really nice to take a break from that and luxuriate in a really fun science fiction story. After all, who doesn't love a good semi-comedic, super entertaining sci-fi romp? The correct answer is: no-one. All of the other reviews suggesting this book is a hybrid of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and Alice's Adventures in Wonderland are right on the money. Patrick Canning's Cryptofauna proves to be a book that's every bit as interesting as its cryptic title - and the cryptic game of the same name played by the novel's characters.

This kind of book is definitely right up my alley. As I mentioned, it's just a really fun idea and Canning's writing immediately sucks you into the world he's created. From those very first pages as you meet Jim, the suicidal janitor, right as he's about to kill himself, you're immediately captivated by his story. Why does he want to kill himself? And who is this mysterious man sweeping in to save him just in the nick of time, only to send him off on a somehow even-deadlier adventure? It's just a bonkers idea that's explored in all its truly insane glory.

I'd say the greatest elements of this novel are the care with which Canning has clearly taken to develop his characters and the world they inhabit. While a premise as odd as a group of near demi-gods playing this mysterious game is enough to intrigue a reader into picking up the book, having characters who aren't as interesting as the novel's premise would probably be a death-blow to a story like this. So, luckily, the characters in the novel are really interesting. Jim, himself, makes for a captivating protagonist. He's an everyman, which makes it super easy to relate to him as he's thrown head-first into this weird world. But then he's surrounded by all of these larger-than-life beings, and it all just gets more interesting. First, there's Oz, the man who rescued him from his suicide attempt and starts him off on this journey. Then there's Jim's loyal companion, Mars, a very good dog who you quickly fall in love with. Surrounding these three are a group of characters even more colorful: Barney, a man found at sea; two shape-shifting Jinn, and a collective of nearly-immortal monks. It's a kooky cast of characters that are perfectly situated for a story with this kind of premise - and all of them get a fair amount of development, even if they don't all have huge amounts of page-time.

Similarly, the world itself is very well-realized. From the word go, this world feels lived in. It's clear Canning knows the rules of his universe and he explains them to his audience exactly when the audience needs to hear it. He also expertly avoids sections that feel like massive exposition dumps, instead masking these moments of information-sharing as character-driven beats; information is only shared because another character in the story needs to know that information, so the exposition dumps tend to feel more natural than they otherwise might. Outside of these kinds of dumps, Canning also expands the world through little interludes that break up the action. Sometimes those interludes end up tying in with the overall story, but other times they act as ways to expand the point of view of the story for just a brief moment. These interludes show off this expansive world that Canning has created and, like the best interludes in novels like Good Omens or The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, they leave you with a feeling that Canning really understands the world he's created and it just makes it all the more fun to spend time within that world.

While the novel's worldbuilding and character development are top-notch, much of its plot goes unfortunately underdeveloped. The book suffers from some pacing issues that largely stem from an underdeveloped threat. It takes the book a while to really get started, probably because the readers are just as clueless as Jim is and his first task feels very... underwhelming. The first chapter is really attention-grabbing, but then the second one is significantly slower and you're left feeling like you're not quite sure why any of this is happening. Luckily, it does start to come together fairly quickly and from that point on, the book continues at a very brisk pace, revealing new information at exactly the moment you'd like it to and holding your attention as it speeds along. I ended up reading the latter half of the book in one sitting because of this very aspect of Canning's writing.

Additionally, due to the general (and intentional) vagueness of what, exactly, Crytpofauna is, it often feels like Jim isn't actually going up against anything in particular. The novel frequently feels like more of a collection of short stories or episodic adventures instead of one bigger adventure. The climax of the book tries to tie all of these individual adventures into a bigger battle, but it kind of falls flat as the ultimate antagonist and his plan received fairly little development when compared with the rest of the book. You don't even learn of what the antagonist is actually trying to do until the last 20%, or so, of the novel. That, in itself, isn't necessarily a bad thing as you often don't want to reveal the bad guy's plan too early, but usually, you'd seed elements of that plan so that when all is revealed, it feels like the reader could have figured out the plan alongside the protagonist. Here, that doesn't really happen. Jim just sort of figures it out all of a sudden and when it's revealed to the reader, it kind of just lands with an "oh, so that's what we're doing?" instead of a more exciting feeling. Luckily, that semi-anticlimactic ending isn't really enough to put a downer on the novel as it's still a lot of fun to read the novel's climax and see just how everything shakes out, even if there wasn't a particularly great buildup to it.

Overall, though, Crytpofauna is a super fun read. It's a testament to Canning's writing that this whole thing works as well as it does. The idea is bonkers and the characters are larger-than-life, but he very carefully guides his readers through this world and before you know it, you're totally invested in everything that's going on. It's not a perfect read, for the reasons I've already mentioned, but it's definitely a fun one. If you're looking for a nice, breeze, silly sci-fi romp, Cryptofauna is the book for you! It'll grab your attention and won't let it go until the book comes to an end. While everything is very nicely tied up by the end of the novel, the world feels so expansive that I can't help but hope Canning returns to this world again and tells some new stories within it. It's a pretty great world that I'd enjoy returning to in the future.

darrahsteffenwrites's review

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4.0

Very unique story about a game to influence world events. The story was comedic and irreverent. I enjoyed it all the way through.

musicalpopcorn's review

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4.0

When a suicidal janitor is saved from his self-inflicted demise by a sea-foam clad member of an insane asylum, his life is changed forever as he is plunged into the world of Cryptofauna.


I got this book from Book Sirens in exchange for a review.

This book was definitely engaging and fun. The writing was snappy and sarcastic. Canning definitely has an interesting way of describing things. I got a little tired of the premise where nobody really seems to know what’s going on, but the story was fun, the characters were interesting and it was definitely unique. Would recommend for anyone looking for a fun read.