Take a photo of a barcode or cover
44 reviews for:
Strong Mothers, Strong Sons: Lessons Mothers Need to Raise Extraordinary Men
Meg Meeker
3.58 AVERAGE
44 reviews for:
Strong Mothers, Strong Sons: Lessons Mothers Need to Raise Extraordinary Men
Meg Meeker
3.58 AVERAGE
I only got 70% of the way through this book. I really tried to finish it but got progressively more uncomfortable with the perspectives of childhood development in XY individuals by this pediatrician. I honestly think that this book is dated, that her advice is specific to an earlier generation of mothers. First of, she’s incredibly judgey towards women, for example, she proclaims that most women focus too much on exercising or cooking organic food than to play with their sons, when in reality, most women are trying to maintain their full time job and fulfill the needs that need to be met physically to meet just the first hierarchy of needs (clean house, good food, clean clothes..) so what if a mom wants to exercise?! Cut her some slack if she needs to do something for herself, I think it’s important for boys to have role models of women taking care of themselves rather than constantly putting everyone else ahead of themselves.
She also recommends that single mothers find a role model.. like a priest.. to take their sons on solo trips. IS SHE FOR REAL?! As a pediatrician I would think she would know better than to make recommendations such as this.
I do appreciate how she gives anecdotal stories about mothers who felt something was wrong with their sons but had a hard time getting their sons to open up. The advice to just be there physically and remind them constantly that they can talk to you seems to be some excellent advice.
Also, her advice to create rituals really inspired me to implement a nightly wrestling session to end the day with my sons and it’s been a highlight of their days.
So while most of it was terrible, I still go some great pearls.
She also recommends that single mothers find a role model.. like a priest.. to take their sons on solo trips. IS SHE FOR REAL?! As a pediatrician I would think she would know better than to make recommendations such as this.
I do appreciate how she gives anecdotal stories about mothers who felt something was wrong with their sons but had a hard time getting their sons to open up. The advice to just be there physically and remind them constantly that they can talk to you seems to be some excellent advice.
Also, her advice to create rituals really inspired me to implement a nightly wrestling session to end the day with my sons and it’s been a highlight of their days.
So while most of it was terrible, I still go some great pearls.
Here is what I struggled with in this book, how broad and general she was about everything. She would make statements that just begged for siting some studies but there were none. It was more of "boys are this way..." or "as we all know..." but rather than make me think she's right it instead felt lazy of the author to not provide some evidence to support such statements.
In fairness, there are some great tips in this book that I hope I will be able to remember and implement as my son grows up.
In fairness, there are some great tips in this book that I hope I will be able to remember and implement as my son grows up.
Focused mostly on biological mothers with less reference to adoptive or stepmothers. Also more of a Christian focus than resonates with me.
I want a copy to keep and reference, because I'll surely forget the Nuggets of wisdom here.
I've read this book twice and I've cried both times. I know I will return to it again as my sons get older and I need more wisdom. My favorite part is how sons "see the face of God" in their mother's face; I have never forgotten that, and it guides my parenting.
This book comes up quickly if you are a pregnant woman or new mother who finds out you're having a boy. It is, unfortunately, very conservative. I will never take a child psychology book seriously if it cites James Dobson (of Focus on the Family infamy) positively, which Meeker does in the first chapter. Once I heard that, I looked her up, and laughed to find out that she was one of the main sources of the Rainbow Party urban myth, which had gone around my middle school and which I could never believe adults actually thought might be happening. Do not read this book if you're not interested in thinly veiled Christian propaganda, which apparently is becoming less thinly veiled now that Meeker has been name checked by Donald Trump.
Very much appreciated the incites from this book! Here are some highlights:
1) She pretty unapologetically lays out how mothers are/tend to be and how boys are/tend to be. And while I assume this irritates people—“well that’s not how it is for EVERYONE”—I believe it can generally be said that most boys respond to mothers and mothers respond to boys in the same or similar ways that Dr. Meeker describes.
2) She acknowledges that boys face immense societal pressure ie to be successful. Not always common to discuss in our hyper-feminist-focused society. People act like caring for boys and being attentive to their needs isn’t as important as girls, but that’s just silly.
3) Loved the chapter about emotions. “I think boys are far more sensitive than girls...but they don’t know how to deal with their emotions.” (Or are allowed emotions by popular society.) Ever heard, “Strong men don’t cry?” Dumb. A mothers job is to help her boys understand their emotions and learn out to cope and deal with them. Showing emotions, for example, is a great first step.
4) And finally, loved the chapter about sex and sex education. I’ve always hated the sentiment, “Teenage boys only want one thing...sex.” How insulting. Insulting to a boy who wants to have good grades, do well in sports, have a variety of friends of both genders, develop a strong work ethic, or even love his mother and father and foster a good relationship with them. How insulting for this kids entire character to be boiled down to a sex drive. It’s idiotic. And we can expect more of our sons. So I really really liked what Dr. Meeker had to say about these things.
At the end of the day, this book has helped me understand more about my baby boy and how I’d like to raise him, but even more than that, it’s helped me understand my husbands relationship to his mother and how I can respect or influence the boundaries of that relationship.
Five stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
1) She pretty unapologetically lays out how mothers are/tend to be and how boys are/tend to be. And while I assume this irritates people—“well that’s not how it is for EVERYONE”—I believe it can generally be said that most boys respond to mothers and mothers respond to boys in the same or similar ways that Dr. Meeker describes.
2) She acknowledges that boys face immense societal pressure ie to be successful. Not always common to discuss in our hyper-feminist-focused society. People act like caring for boys and being attentive to their needs isn’t as important as girls, but that’s just silly.
3) Loved the chapter about emotions. “I think boys are far more sensitive than girls...but they don’t know how to deal with their emotions.” (Or are allowed emotions by popular society.) Ever heard, “Strong men don’t cry?” Dumb. A mothers job is to help her boys understand their emotions and learn out to cope and deal with them. Showing emotions, for example, is a great first step.
4) And finally, loved the chapter about sex and sex education. I’ve always hated the sentiment, “Teenage boys only want one thing...sex.” How insulting. Insulting to a boy who wants to have good grades, do well in sports, have a variety of friends of both genders, develop a strong work ethic, or even love his mother and father and foster a good relationship with them. How insulting for this kids entire character to be boiled down to a sex drive. It’s idiotic. And we can expect more of our sons. So I really really liked what Dr. Meeker had to say about these things.
At the end of the day, this book has helped me understand more about my baby boy and how I’d like to raise him, but even more than that, it’s helped me understand my husbands relationship to his mother and how I can respect or influence the boundaries of that relationship.
Five stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I picked this up because I have a teenage son now and I needed some tips. I liked the personal stories but I quickly ran out of steam. That's not the book's fault - I think I'm looking for more of a listicle approach or magazine article versus an entire book. I found myself skipping around and then just losing interest all together.
Next time I find myself in need of parental advice, I'll Google instead of picking up an entire book. Or, I'll pick up a book that has lots of bullet points in addition to the personal stories and in depth advice so I can pick and choose where to do the deep dive. That's just my reading style preference for this topic :)
Next time I find myself in need of parental advice, I'll Google instead of picking up an entire book. Or, I'll pick up a book that has lots of bullet points in addition to the personal stories and in depth advice so I can pick and choose where to do the deep dive. That's just my reading style preference for this topic :)